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Flashing the cash
#1
Hi Guys,
 
I'm new to the group, after reading several posts I feel I can relate in so many ways, there are so many brave strong dads in this group I just feel I have to say WELL DONE GUYS!
 
Now, my problem.
 
 
Me and my Ex broke up around 8 months ago, this was her choice, in old fashioned and I believe family’s should be together. she does not have this view, her mum and dad, her sister and her ex, all follow suit.
 
2 months after we broke up (at this time our son was only 5 months old) she moved on and met her new partner.
over the past few weeks I have been finding things very hard. I still love her, with all my heart, our son had his first Birthday and Christmas has just passed. Her new Partner is well off, every time I see her she is wearing something new he bought her, I know this is nothing to do with me but it irritates me, same with my son, he is buying his new things every day. he bought a car seat for his car for my son! 
 
in lucky that I get to have my son the amount I do, 6 nights over 2 weeks, but recently me and his mum had an argument in regards to her partner buying all these things, Christmas he made me look a fool with everything he had bought him, I am so scared that my 1 year old son will grow up to think more of this guy than me, I have his as much as I possibly can, pay everything I can plus buy him everything I can on top. during the argument (over the phone) he pulled the phone off her and said that "if I keep going the way I am he will make sure I won’t be able to see my son", WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY!
 
needless to say I was very angry, and all hell broke loose. when I got back to her house the next time I  was collecting my son, my son did not reach out to me.
 
this is killing me!
 
I guess the reason for the post is to hear what others have to say about it, can you relate? am I doing things wrong?
 
in struggling with my own head right now and just need to reach out.
 
Thank you for reading.
 
Regards 
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#2
Hey man, I had similiar issues. Especially with collecting my little girl and her being off with me, grumpy and creating a tantrum and hiding behind her mummy. This is completely normal so dont worry about that whatsoever.

On your ex having a new bloke on the scene - I've not experienced that yet. I have tried to plan ahead in my head for when this does happen and guess it comes down to belief in yourself. Ultimately, if you have done nothing wrong and she tinned you after you had a kid together then tbh you've had a lucky escape. As for the relationship with this guy and your kid, you will always be her dad and as long as you have access to your little one and show them love then you both will be fine. Stay calm, dont do anything stupid, he obviously cant stop you from seeing your son.
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#3
(12-29-2016, 03:33 PM)BRIGHTSIDE Wrote: Hi Guys,
 
I'm new to the group, after reading several posts I feel I can relate in so many ways, there are so many brave strong dads in this group I just feel I have to say WELL DONE GUYS!
 
Now, my problem.
 
 
Me and my Ex broke up around 8 months ago, this was her choice, in old fashioned and I believe family’s should be together. she does not have this view, her mum and dad, her sister and her ex, all follow suit.
 
2 months after we broke up (at this time our son was only 5 months old) she moved on and met her new partner.
over the past few weeks I have been finding things very hard. I still love her, with all my heart, our son had his first Birthday and Christmas has just passed. Her new Partner is well off, every time I see her she is wearing something new he bought her, I know this is nothing to do with me but it irritates me, same with my son, he is buying his new things every day. he bought a car seat for his car for my son! 
 
in lucky that I get to have my son the amount I do, 6 nights over 2 weeks, but recently me and his mum had an argument in regards to her partner buying all these things, Christmas he made me look a fool with everything he had bought him, I am so scared that my 1 year old son will grow up to think more of this guy than me, I have his as much as I possibly can, pay everything I can plus buy him everything I can on top. during the argument (over the phone) he pulled the phone off her and said that "if I keep going the way I am he will make sure I won’t be able to see my son", WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY!
 
needless to say I was very angry, and all hell broke loose. when I got back to her house the next time I  was collecting my son, my son did not reach out to me.
 
this is killing me!
 
I guess the reason for the post is to hear what others have to say about it, can you relate? am I doing things wrong?
 
in struggling with my own head right now and just need to reach out.
 
Thank you for reading.
 
Regards 

The way how I deal with this type of thing, is anything I get them stays with me. Anything they buy themselves (as they have Go Hendry Debit card accounts I put their pocket money onto) they decide. Sometimes they want to take things, and if I am happy with it, then they speck to my ex with me, at drop off.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
Expenditure on "things" is ultimately a sign of insecurity and is a thrill that soon fades.

Focus on providing things that money can't buy. Love, attention and kindness.
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#5
I'm about to give you advice that I've given before and its not popular....

Get a DNA test ... are you 100% sure that they kid is yours? Sorry, tough love and all that but she gave birth and left you after 3 months but had someone to go to.... ready and waiting and he seems to be wanting to impress her and that kid a little too much... just make sure mate!
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