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Advice on my contact being stopped
#1
Hi guys I was hoping someone might have some advice. I currently have my kids every second weekend from friday to sunday evening then I take them out on the weekend I dont have on a sunday for a few hours. Me and my ex are divorced and not been together a few years now we have a boy and girl. 

About six weeks ago my kids mentioned to me that my exes partner was smacking them, I let it go but a few weeks ago they said it again and I spoke to there mum on phone who advised it didnt happen. I picked them up a week after to go mine and they mentioned about her partner screaming at his own child, and again said they get smacked when they dont go to sleep. Again she denied it. I had them a week at xmas where it was mentioned in front of my family member I told them to not say that as there mum had told me it not true but my wee girl got upset and still said was true. So I waited until she was going to pick them up after week with me and asked her about but she said I not talking to you. Kids where in house at this point and I said if you wont talk to me I not giving you kids until I get police to come.

She then barged past me to enter my house and I tried to hold her back but had to let go, she then screamed in my daughters face that she was lieing and my daughter screamed back that her partner did her and her mother both dragged the kids screaming out the house.

I called police who came to mine and went to hers, they said they interviewed kids and have established the smacking as discipline so they not doing anything and didnt take statements but the smacking was supposed to not have happened. Anyway am due to have kids this friday but received a text saying I am not getting them until she sees lawyer about my contact, I havent even spoke to kids after the incident. Can anyone advise should I contact social work mainly due to fact she seems to be lieing about the smacking or just leave it and turn up to pick up kids on friday. P.s I sent my ex and her partner a text asking for a meeting in a weeks time but they not replied. In the text regarding my contact stopping temporarily she is claiming its because I tried to stop her entering house but police have no complaint about it as it was nothing. I at end of my tether it been years now with stuff like this.
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#2
(01-03-2017, 06:07 PM)johnboy1998 Wrote: Hi guys I was hoping someone might have some advice. I currently have my kids every second weekend from friday to sunday evening then I take them out on the weekend I dont have on a sunday for a few hours. Me and my ex are divorced and not been together a few years now we have a boy and girl. 

About six weeks ago my kids mentioned to me that my exes partner was smacking them, I let it go but a few weeks ago they said it again and I spoke to there mum on phone who advised it didnt happen. I picked them up a week after to go mine and they mentioned about her partner screaming at his own child, and again said they get smacked when they dont go to sleep. Again she denied it. I had them a week at xmas where it was mentioned in front of my family member I told them to not say that as there mum had told me it not true but my wee girl got upset and still said was true. So I waited until she was going to pick them up after week with me and asked her about but she said I not talking to you. Kids where in house at this point and I said if you wont talk to me I not giving you kids until I get police to come.

She then barged past me to enter my house and I tried to hold her back but had to let go, she then screamed in my daughters face that she was lieing and my daughter screamed back that her partner did her and her mother both dragged the kids screaming out the house.

I called police who came to mine and went to hers, they said they interviewed kids and have established the smacking as discipline so they not doing anything and didnt take statements but the smacking was supposed to not have happened. Anyway am due to have kids this friday but received a text saying I am not getting them until she sees lawyer about my contact, I havent even spoke to kids after the incident. Can anyone advise should I contact social work mainly due to fact she seems to be lieing about the smacking or just leave it and turn up to pick up kids on friday. P.s I sent my ex and her partner a text asking for a meeting in a weeks time but they not replied. In the text regarding my contact stopping temporarily she is claiming its because I tried to stop her entering house but police have no complaint about it as it was nothing. I at end of my tether it been years now with stuff like this.

You need to inform Social Services, but the chances are the Police will have done it already.

In terms of your contact stopping, I need to how how its being arranged, for example
Formal Agreement
Medication Agreement
Court Order.

Once I know that, ill advise on the legal way forward.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Hi thanks for your reply my contact and maintenance are part of a private agreement.

She texted last night and said she had been to lawyer and wanted to arrange new contact arrangements and that I could have kids this weekend as normal, we spoke ammicably. I just got home from work and she texted to say I am not getting kids again due to crap about badmouthing her to them and said she can stop my contact and didnt need to get her lawyer to draw a new contact arrangement. I am totally confused. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

P.s I dont want kids to think I dont want to see them, can I go to there school and speak to them or anything or even send a letter to school so a techer can let them know I still care.
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#4
(01-05-2017, 05:33 PM)johnboy1998 Wrote: Hi thanks for your reply my contact and maintenance are part of a private agreement.

She texted last night and said she had been to lawyer and wanted to arrange new contact arrangements and that I could have kids this weekend as normal, we spoke ammicably. I just got home from work and she texted to say I am not getting kids again due to crap about badmouthing her to them and said she can stop my contact and didnt need to get her lawyer to draw a new contact arrangement. I am totally confused. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

P.s I dont want kids to think I dont want to see them, can I go to there school and speak to them or anything or even send a letter to school so a techer can let them know I still care.

You need Mediation before you go to Court.

To go Court you normally need a Mediation Deadlock Letter, or letter if she did not show.

However, I would work out my position going into Mediation.

The facts are that the children have rights to quality time with both parents, unless she can show child welfare or protection issues.

Therefore, her opinion on badmouthing does not come into this. To get things back how they way, you just need to ask for it.

Your ex would need to show significant reason to change the existing arrangements, and do not thing she has a case what would stand up in a Finding of Fact Hearing.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
Hi Mark thanks again, I just want the contact I am supposed to have with them. I feel that last night she was ok to give me kids but has maybe been told the same info you have just gave and is now throwing a hissy fit hence why I receive a text today out blue saying dont contact her again and I not getting kids anymore. I have four years of saved communication where she has turned down mediation albeit I havent done it officially. I have never let the kids down, never missed a payment for maintenance. I am worried as the kids will be expecting me tommorow and I know she wont say she stopped me seeing them and I cant bear to think about them thinking I havent turned up.

When you say to get things back to way they where, how do you mean ask? Thanks by the way, its nice to even get a reply as most people I know are sick of hearing about stuff like this.
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#6
Hi I have sent a letter to my ex regarding contact. I still not spoke to them at all. I have no court orders or other things against me and have parental responsibility.

Can I go to there school at 3.15 tommorow as they get picked up by childminder and just say hi to them and tell them I love them. She wont even get them to call me and been eight days now. Thanks
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#7
(01-08-2017, 07:32 PM)johnboy1998 Wrote: Hi I have sent a letter to my ex regarding contact. I still not spoke to them at all. I have no court orders or other things against me and have parental responsibility.

Can I go to there school at 3.15 tommorow as they get picked up by childminder and just say hi to them and tell them I love them. She wont even get them to call me and been eight days now. Thanks



If you have PR and no court order exists, pick the children up yourself, and inform the school that you have PR, so your on the same legal standing as your ex.
Make it clear to the child minder, that if she takes the children without your consent, she could face child kidnap charges.

If the school get involved, also tell them that you will call the Police, as they are illegally keeping the child.

Regardless of any instructions from your ex, without a Court Order, no none has the right to take the child from you, unless the child is in immediate danger, and a Uniformed Police Officer takes the child into Police Protection.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#8
Thanks you have been a great help. I signed your petition a few days ago wish I could help others too. Thanks
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#9
Hi there I went after school to see the kids but they had been picked up early. The school spoke to me and said she is attempting to have my parental rights removed. She had also asked them to remove me from the school list or something but school has refused. They have a police report but it has nothing to put them in doubt about kids safety. I have lawyers at 2 tommorow but I am sick of this now. Thanks
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#10
Man... what a story. Sorry to hear this johnboy.

Sounds like you are getting a rough deal, and sounds like there is something wrong with her/them psychologically to be playing games like this.

All I can say is stay strong, you have done nothing wrong and she is trying to get at you.

Don't get tempted into playing games back. Just do the best you can to get the justice you deserve.
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