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Mediation
#1
Hi

I am divorced and had contact with my 7 year old daughter every week for the last 4 years with weekend and overnight stays in the week.  My x has just stopped all contact as I wont sign over my share of the equity in the our marital home where she still lives with my daughter and my best friends son who she had an affair with.  I sent her a solicitors letter but her response was that as the finances still needed addressing contact was still a no go.  I have organised a mediation date as I need this for a FM1 for a court order she says she wont attend.  Since this she has allowed my daughter to call me and seems to be backing off slightly, not sure if I should ask again to see my daughter and if she allows this does it mean I cant go to court if contact is reinstated.

Any advise would be helpful 
thanks
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#2
Hi there, and welcome.

There is nothing stopping you from going to mediation, and if your ex doesn't attend or mediation is ineffective, then taking it to court. The court would probably like to see evidence you've tried other methods to resolve your differences before it gets that far.

Contact with your child has no bearing on financial issues, and if you can prove your ex is withholding contact because of this the courts will not look kindly on her as it's basically blackmail on her part.

If I was you I'd be writing to the ex outlining your position with regards to your desires for contact. Hopefully this would get a resolution but if no joy then ask if she'll attend mediation and take it from there. Bear in mind that mediation has no legal standing and can't be enforced so if you reach an agreement at the mediation stage she, and you, could totally ignore it.

If she refuses, or ignores the agreement you've reached then realistically issuing of court papers is the final option.
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#3
Hi

Perhaps I wasn't clear in my previous post I have sent solicitors letter, her response was no contact until finances are sorted, arranged mediation for next week she has texted and stated she will not be attending.  Since then she has allowed my daughter to contact me and I am wondering whether I should ask about access again.  If I get access can I still go for mediation and court as she will stop access again when things don't go her way
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#4
In a nutshell....yes. If contact is sporadic or withdrawn whenever it suits your ex then it would be better for your child if she knows when time with you will happen, as directed by a court, rather than relying on the ex and which way the wind is blowing.

Withdrawing contact because you won't sign the house over is blackmail. A court order, although not guaranteed to work, will at least give you some legal backup if the ex defys the order.
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#5
A mediator is completely impartial, so try not to feel to nervous and they are only interested in facts, so if you have evidence of your partners decision, ie text messages, emails, letters print them off and take them to mediation. I went recently the first meeting was me on my own then my x would be contacted for her own meeting. After the mediator saw my evidence they didn't even contact my ex partner they just sent me the court forms c100 to start court proceedings, mine was slightly different as evidence of neglect and endangering, but using a child to spite a partner especially over finances will be taken seriously by a judge.
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