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How to get my life back ..
#1
Hey everyone my wife separated from me over Christmas she and my 2 girls have been my focus for the past 10 years, and because of this I became complacent and didn't make friends and moved away from old friends.
Right now I've forgotten how to make friends, have a social life etc.
Has anyone got any tips ?
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#2
Hey Andy, thanks for joining.

I'm sorry to hear this mate, its always a difficult time. How are you feeling in general? Are you ready to move on and to try and make new friends so soon?
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#3
Cheers dude in general I'm ok having ups and downs but to be honest I could do with some distractions. I guess I'm just feeling lonely as sad as it may sound.
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#4
Hi bud it gets better I used to think I couldnt last the next month but it makes you a better person trust me. Get it into your head that she not coming back and you can recover a lot faster.

Do not get into arguments and work on your relationships with kids, concentrate on them and yourself and dont let your feelings wreck things with contact etc.

Try to get maintenance sorted by paying direct to her into her bank so you have records.

I used to think I would I would never meet anyone but I did and then when I did I felt under pressure because I wasnt ready. I am lonely a lot mate I like you have no real friends after marriage but you learn to deal with it, now when my gf comes I like bugger off I cant do all this stuff now haha! I am in scotland so I would be happy to chat or anything, I been there and still am sometimes I know how it feels. Take care
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#5
Thanks johnboy. Fortunately my wife(?!) is in a far higher paid job and I'm the main carer for my children which is grand my relationships are strong. I take your point about giving stuff time and feeling under pressure.
Thanks I really appreciate this advice and offer of chats. I'll also about if you need to chat hope you have more ups than downs.
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#6
aw thats great you have your kids, get you ass to soft play mate haha. I wasted a lot of time making excuses for her and getting back with her etc but I could have saved so much pain for myself and used the time on more important things.
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#7
Been in same boat too.  Moved down to Essex to be with my girlfriend, then wife, now ex-wife.  Three kids later I find myself with not many mates.

What do you enjoy doing?  Mine was pool, so now on a pool team, great set of lads and I look forward to playing every week.  Also someone tends to be at the club so whenever I get some spare time can nip down there.  Better than being at home twiddling thumbs and torturing your brain with negative thoughts.
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#8
Do you enjoy any sports? Maybe try and join a team or supporters club. For me personally watching and supporting wasps has helped me take my mind of things and meet new folk. Parkrun is alsp a good way to meet people and get fit.
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#9
(01-16-2017, 04:47 PM)AdamAnt Wrote: Do you enjoy any sports? Maybe try and join a team or  supporters club. For me personally watching and supporting wasps has helped me take my mind of things and meet new folk. Parkrun is alsp a good way to meet people and get fit.
Really good advice
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#10
I think the big thing here is to take some time for yourself. Don't put all this pressure on yourself. Go have a coffee, go for a walk, visit with family. Once you feel like you are in a stable place...you feel good about yourself, then branch out. I find if your not in a good space personally sometimes you find what your not looking for. I agree with the rest about getting into an activity of sport. Its always easier to make new friends when its a group setting. And don't be afraid to reach out to some old friends, they just might miss having a beer with you as much as you do with them.
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