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Ex wife being impossible with child arrangements
#1
Hi There. I'm new to this site. So firstly I'd like to say hello to you all.  I am very sorry if this subject has been gone over many times before. I'm still going through the bruised, battered, hurt and exhausted phase of the divorce, so I dont feel like I've got the capacity to take on extra stuff when just getting out of bed in the morning is a monumental struggle. 

My ex wife is very frustrating to deal with. She will ignore contact with me unless it is essential, or if she wants something. I dont want to have to escalate to court, but things cant continue like this.  Some of the issues I am having... 

1. She changed the childrens primary school without telling me in advance. 
2. She changed the childrens doctors surgery without telling me
3. She refuses to allow me to see the children during the week without providing any real justification as to why. 
4. She agreed for me to see the children 3 weekends out of 4, but then has back tracked on this. 
5. She books holidays or stuff with the kids when I'm due to have them that weekend
6. She wont allow me to call or text the children whilst I do not see them. Nor does she pass messages on to them. 


this is the big one that I'm worried about...

7. Her and her new fiancee are looking at houses to buy. There is a chance it will be further away and that the children will not go to the secondary school that is up the road from me. Both my children (8 and 4) have expressed their wish to go to that school, not just because it is so close to Daddy's house (which is also the home they grew up in), but because all their friends will be going there as well.   My daughter has said she wants to live with me more when she goes to that school.    If my wife moves further away, which is looking very likely, it will mean none of this will be able to happen.  

I have let my wife know this via email twice, and as usual she has not responded.  I am really worried that she will just ignore the wishes of the kids, and me, and just do what she wants to do. Its what she's always done. 

I have let her know that she needs to consult with me before changing their schools, and that if she fails to do so I will use a prohibited steps order.  I dont know if that is the right course of action. 

I've tried to talk to her and she refuses
She wont reply to my emails
I've tried to get her to mediation and she refuses.

She only communicates with me when it suits her. I get the distinct feeling she completely fails to recognise the importance of my role as the kids Father and has nothing but contempt for me. She even said once that she would rather I paid full child support and disappeared. 



Anyone else have an ex like this ? I dont care about her any more. She's obviously moved on with her life. But I do care about my children and I feel she is calling all the shots and expects me to put up and shut up.  Is there anyone I can approach to help me out that doesnt involved a solicitor or court ?  Just some governing body or something that can give her a warning shot across her bow that says "dont be a bitch, he's the father of your kids, he has rights as well and you need to recognise that"
Reply
#2
(01-18-2017, 02:15 PM)Jock07 Wrote: Hi There. I'm new to this site. So firstly I'd like to say hello to you all.  I am very sorry if this subject has been gone over many times before. I'm still going through the bruised, battered, hurt and exhausted phase of the divorce, so I dont feel like I've got the capacity to take on extra stuff when just getting out of bed in the morning is a monumental struggle. 

My ex wife is very frustrating to deal with. She will ignore contact with me unless it is essential, or if she wants something. I dont want to have to escalate to court, but things cant continue like this.  Some of the issues I am having... 

1. She changed the childrens primary school without telling me in advance. 
2. She changed the childrens doctors surgery without telling me
3. She refuses to allow me to see the children during the week without providing any real justification as to why. 
4. She agreed for me to see the children 3 weekends out of 4, but then has back tracked on this. 
5. She books holidays or stuff with the kids when I'm due to have them that weekend
6. She wont allow me to call or text the children whilst I do not see them. Nor does she pass messages on to them. 


this is the big one that I'm worried about...

7. Her and her new fiancee are looking at houses to buy. There is a chance it will be further away and that the children will not go to the secondary school that is up the road from me. Both my children (8 and 4) have expressed their wish to go to that school, not just because it is so close to Daddy's house (which is also the home they grew up in), but because all their friends will be going there as well.   My daughter has said she wants to live with me more when she goes to that school.    If my wife moves further away, which is looking very likely, it will mean none of this will be able to happen.  

I have let my wife know this via email twice, and as usual she has not responded.  I am really worried that she will just ignore the wishes of the kids, and me, and just do what she wants to do. Its what she's always done. 

I have let her know that she needs to consult with me before changing their schools, and that if she fails to do so I will use a prohibited steps order.  I dont know if that is the right course of action. 

I've tried to talk to her and she refuses
She wont reply to my emails
I've tried to get her to mediation and she refuses.

She only communicates with me when it suits her. I get the distinct feeling she completely fails to recognise the importance of my role as the kids Father and has nothing but contempt for me. She even said once that she would rather I paid full child support and disappeared. 



Anyone else have an ex like this ? I dont care about her any more. She's obviously moved on with her life. But I do care about my children and I feel she is calling all the shots and expects me to put up and shut up.  Is there anyone I can approach to help me out that doesnt involved a solicitor or court ?  Just some governing body or something that can give her a warning shot across her bow that says "dont be a bitch, he's the father of your kids, he has rights as well and you need to recognise that"

The only place this is going is court mate.

You've offered mediation so can apply to court tomorrow if you wish.

Don't let a status quo develop, time is of the essence.

You don't 'need' a solicitor as you can self represent (and use a McKenzie Friend if you like).

Keep your cool and do things 'right'.
Reply


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