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access to daughter
#1
Hi All, apologies in advance if I seem to be going over the same issues as past posts.
to cut along story short, my ex partner ( childs mother) is not budging on contact issues regarding our 5 year old daughter. we split just after my daughters 2nd birthday, and since then the verbal arrangement was every Friday , from 330pm until bed time, return home on a weekly basis. however since April this year, I have moved to Carlisle for work reasons, and the child is near Blackburn, so this isn't feesable any more. I have asked about having my daughter over night, and I'm just told no chance go to court. I have since had a letter sent to her regarding a proposal of Saturday until sunday every 2nd week, which in response she phoned the solicitor and told him in no uncertain terms to  get stuffed. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, neither does the solicitor. I have said to her several times id like to avoid court as I don't want to upset my child but theres just no budging her. social services are now involved at my exs end due to drink issues and violence in her new relationship but I cant get any sense out of anybody. any advice.

thank you
Danny
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#2
Hi Danny

Court won't upset the child as she wont need to go... the only thing it will do is give you the right access to your daughter and one day she will love you EVEN more for taking that fight to court (maybe in 15 years time)

I think you've been reasonable and are getting a closed door in your face.

Doesn't really matter what the ex thinks or says to solicitor (although if she did tell him to get stuffed it shows what she is like)... what DOES matter is the child has a right to quality time with both parents and your work pattern allows that to be every other weekend for you.

Go for it .... your doing it for your daughter
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#3
(01-19-2017, 03:10 PM)Danny Lancaster Wrote: Hi All, apologies in advance if I seem to be going over the same issues as past posts.
to cut along story short, my ex partner ( childs mother) is not budging on contact issues regarding our 5 year old daughter. we split just after my daughters 2nd birthday, and since then the verbal arrangement was every Friday , from 330pm until bed time, return home on a weekly basis. however since April this year, I have moved to Carlisle for work reasons, and the child is near Blackburn, so this isn't feesable any more. I have asked about having my daughter over night, and I'm just told no chance go to court. I have since had a letter sent to her regarding a proposal of Saturday until sunday every 2nd week, which in response she phoned the solicitor and told him in no uncertain terms to  get stuffed. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, neither does the solicitor. I have said to her several times id like to avoid court as I don't want to upset my child but theres just no budging her. social services are now involved at my exs end due to drink issues and violence in her new relationship but I cant get any sense out of anybody. any advice.

thank you
Danny

I have a feeling you can go Direct to Court on this one. Ensure you get in on your application about your concerns regrading violence in her new relationship and the fact that Social Services are in place.

State at this stage contesting Residence is under consideration, due to limited information being given to you regarding Social Services concerns over the child.

Ask for a Guardian to be put in, so that the child's current situation can be looked into, so it can be decided if its best for the child to remain with mum, with you having staying contact, or if its best for the child to be with you. Contact offered in this situation would depend on the findings of Cafcass/Social Services, and would be in line with what they advise.

If Residence does not change, then you would like a typical contact order, of Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, indirect contact (phone call) on the weekend you do not have the child, and in school holidays, 1 week Easter and Christmas, with 2 weeks and a separate weekend in the Summer.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
(01-19-2017, 08:17 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Hi Danny

Court won't upset the child as she wont need to go... the only thing it will do is give you the right access to your daughter and one day she will love you EVEN more for taking that fight to court (maybe in 15 years time)

I think you've been reasonable and are getting a closed door in your face.

Doesn't really matter what the ex thinks or says to solicitor (although if she did tell him to get stuffed it shows what she is like)... what DOES matter is the child has a right to quality time with both parents and your work pattern allows that to be every other weekend for you.

Go for it .... your doing it for your daughter
I had Rubys Gran arrive at my house on Saturday morning asking if i'd like to keep her over night and return her sunday tea time. I asked why the sudden change, she informed me that they had sought legal advice and they were advised to accept my request to save all parties time money and unnecessary upset. I accepted and thanked her. she told me when I dropped Ruby off, that social had put an order in place saying Ruby is to stay at her Grans between 8pm and 8am every day due to home issues.  I have asked if we can make this more permenant by signing a out of court agreement, would this be legally binding if minds are changed further down the line. thanks all.
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#5
(01-23-2017, 05:15 PM)Danny Lancaster Wrote:
(01-19-2017, 08:17 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Hi Danny

Court won't upset the child as she wont need to go... the only thing it will do is give you the right access to your daughter and one day she will love you EVEN more for taking that fight to court (maybe in 15 years time)

I think you've been reasonable and are getting a closed door in your face.

Doesn't really matter what the ex thinks or says to solicitor (although if she did tell him to get stuffed it shows what she is like)... what DOES matter is the child has a right to quality time with both parents and your work pattern allows that to be every other weekend for you.

Go for it .... your doing it for your daughter
I had Rubys Gran arrive at my house on Saturday morning asking if i'd like to keep her over night and return her sunday tea time. I asked why the sudden change, she informed me that they had sought legal advice and they were advised to accept my request to save all parties time money and unnecessary upset. I accepted and thanked her. she told me when I dropped Ruby off, that social had put an order in place saying Ruby is to stay at her Grans between 8pm and 8am every day due to home issues.  I have asked if we can make this more permenant by signing a out of court agreement, would this be legally binding if minds are changed further down the line. thanks all.

Have Social Services ever engaged with you? If you have PR, you have the right to know of any concerns the local authority has regarding your son.

If you both have PR, any agreement the Social Services have done is not legally binding, in so much as they can not stop you taking the Child from the Gran if you ex is not present. You are your ex are on the same legal standing, the gran has no legal standing.

What your ex has done, appears to be a "Working Agreement". It comes down to either she agreed to it, or Social Services could make an application to Court.
If they did, both parents would get Legal Aid, as its not someone with PR taking an action.

If you have suitable housing, my suggestion is to apply to Court for Residency asap.

State in your application that the Local Authority have concerns to the extent that the child can not sleep in her house.
That your position is that subject to you knowing the opinion of Social Services, that the Gran is very much a part of the Children's lives, and that while you would oppose "Staying" contact with the ex at this time (as the local authority are not allowing it right now), you would allow it if it took place at the Grans house.
You would be willing for daytime contact to take place, if that was the opinion of the Social Worker.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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