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Travel arrangements
#1
About a year and a half ago my ex partner moved 100miles away with our daughter who is now 3. She didnt tell me the address and even told me the wrong city ( there was 80miles between these 2 cities). Since iv fount out where she lived iv done this journey every weekend odd times fortnightly. I was wondering if i was to pick up my daughter friday am i within my rights to say i aint taking her back up to you anymore you can come collect her. I understand if i  want to see my daughter i have to go pick her up but surely the mum should be collecting her off me. 

thanks for any replies in advance

Prior to the move she was in a violent relationship (seperate partner to the one shes with now) and during this she stopped me from seeing our daughter, after 6 weeks she let me see her and on dropping her off back to her i was attacked by her boyfriend at the time infront of our daughter. She stuck up for her boyfriend at the time and told police id attacked her and he intervened. This wasnt the case at all and after the court case being adjourned twice she turned up after shed split up with her violent ex and told the courts i didnt touch her the case was thrown out and that was the end of it. 2 weeks later she moved away with a new partner 100 miles away. i get told nothing in terms of medical history the only thing i know of medical history was that my daughter was very behind on having her jabs at drs, i know nothing of who looks after our daughter during the day or what nursery she goes to. i feel like everythings all one big secret and given the past it worries me a hell of a lot.
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#2
(01-25-2017, 06:12 PM)Carlos1993 Wrote: About a year and a half ago my ex partner moved 100miles away with our daughter who is now 3. She didnt tell me the address and even told me the wrong city ( there was 80miles between these 2 cities). Since iv fount out where she lived iv done this journey every weekend odd times fortnightly. I was wondering if i was to pick up my daughter friday am i within my rights to say i aint taking her back up to you anymore you can come collect her. I understand if i  want to see my daughter i have to go pick her up but surely the mum should be collecting her off me. 

thanks for any replies in advance

Prior to the move she was in a violent relationship (seperate partner to the one shes with now) and during this she stopped me from seeing our daughter, after 6 weeks she let me see her and on dropping her off back to her i was attacked by her boyfriend at the time infront of our daughter. She stuck up for her boyfriend at the time and told police id attacked her and he intervened. This wasnt the case at all and after the court case being adjourned twice she turned up after shed split up with her violent ex and told the courts i didnt touch her the case was thrown out and that was the end of it. 2 weeks later she moved away with a new partner 100 miles away. i get told nothing in terms of medical history the only thing i know of medical history was that my daughter was very behind on having her jabs at drs, i know nothing of who looks after our daughter during the day or what nursery she goes to. i feel like everythings all one big secret and given the past it worries me a hell of a lot.
If no Court Order exists, and you have PR, you are on the same legal standing as your ex.

However, if you make her come to collect them, she might withhold contact, forcing you to do down the legal route, what might take 2 or 3 months.

If CMS are involved in your case, go for a reduction in Child Support, due to your excessive Travel for Contact Costs, due to her relocation.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
firstly thanks for your reply

I understand that she may stop me from seeing my daughter until court action is taken but due to the past wouldnt that work in my favour as such if she did. I mean there is proof of everything thats happened as she owned up to it in court last time around. Surely the courts dont favour mums who just stop contact between ex and child whenever they want to. She even said in the courts that the reason i got attacked was because i stated concerns about where my csa money was going as i was paying over what the csa said and my daughter was in clothes that was 9months to small for her.
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#4
Hi,

So, you already have been in court?
What does your last order say?

I would not think that the court would be in your favour if you were not to bring your child back. You are going to drag your child into a possible conflict situation and next time round you would not see your child at all.

It is far better to come to an agreement with the mother before changes are made or to take it to court.

F.
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#5
it wasnt for contact issues it was for a false domestic violence claim but when she said i didnt do anything she also mentioned what i said above. During the time of wanting to get full custody to my daughter for the year or so after we broke up whilst she was in a violent relationship i was on a domestic violence charge which massively wouldve effected the courts decisions. Iv tried making agreements such as il pick her up the mother collects her but in her eyes its literally a case of if u want to see your daughter you get her and drop her off too which i dont find reasonable at all. i had the letter of mediation sent to her but she didnt reply at all.

again thanks for your reply.
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#6
Hi,

If you have a showstopper letter from mediation take it to court.

I am in a similar situation and still in court about the issue.

My ex asked the judge in our last hearing how the law would take up this issue as she thought all travel would fall on me of course.

The judge was not very specific in her answer but mentioned that there is different ways to approach this. She (the judge) would consider why there has been a distance or who moved away and she also mentioned that it would also be positive for the child if both parents would engage in the travel and bring the children to each other's doors. She also mentioned that a meeting point half way would also be possible to agree on. I had the feeling she would not decide that all the travel should fall on me.

F.
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#7
(01-25-2017, 09:00 PM)Carlos1993 Wrote: firstly thanks for your reply

I understand that she may stop me from seeing my daughter until court action is taken but due to the past wouldnt that work in my favour as such if she did. I mean there is proof of everything thats happened as she owned up to it in court last time around. Surely the courts dont favour mums who just stop contact between ex and child whenever they want to. She even said in the courts that the reason i got attacked was because i stated concerns about where my csa money was going as i was paying over what the csa said and my daughter was in clothes that was 9months to small for her.

To be clear on one aspect, money changing hands has no legal bearing on Child Arrangements.

Under the Welfare Benefit reforms, your ex has what the law says she needs coming in, plus your Child Support what is not considered as income for benefits.

Its up to her what she does with it, you have no legal say in it.

If cloths are to small, unless you want to contest residence (what in my view you do not have enough for), your only option is Social Services, who might be able to help her with budgeting etc.

If you have Child Welfare Issues, if you put them on your Court Application (just bullet points) then the Court will put Cafcass or Social Services in, and a likely outcome will be a Child Arrangements Order, and a Family Assistance Order, so your ex can get help.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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