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#1
Hi I have recently separated from my partner in April 2016. I have a 5 year old daughter and my ex partner is being difficult on all levels and is restricting my time with my daughter. I currently pick up my daughter from school at 3:20pm every Monday and Thursday and have her for an overnight stay every other Saturday at 4pm till 5pm the next day. I have battled with her now for 5 months and have asked for more contact time as 25 hours a fortnight isn’t enough and it is having a detrimental effect on my daughters welfare and our relationship. I only live 3 minutes away from my daughter and my ex is shutting me out of my daughters life and is being difficult on all levels. She misses me severely and is very confused. I have tried mediation back in August 2016. It has now come to a head and her Solicitor keeps saying that she will respond separately re: further contact time. Im still waiting after 3 months. I am paying maintenance. I’m willing to try shuttle mediation and I need your advice. My ex is willing to do mediation too.
 
What do you suggest I do? I need help!

Jamie
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#2
(01-26-2017, 10:18 PM)lloydy76 Wrote: Hi I have recently separated from my partner in April 2016. I have a 5 year old daughter and my ex partner is being difficult on all levels and is restricting my time with my daughter. I currently pick up my daughter from school at 3:20pm every Monday and Thursday and have her for an overnight stay every other Saturday at 4pm till 5pm the next day. I have battled with her now for 5 months and have asked for more contact time as 25 hours a fortnight isn’t enough and it is having a detrimental effect on my daughters welfare and our relationship. I only live 3 minutes away from my daughter and my ex is shutting me out of my daughters life and is being difficult on all levels. She misses me severely and is very confused. I have tried mediation back in August 2016. It has now come to a head and her Solicitor keeps saying that she will respond separately re: further contact time. Im still waiting after 3 months. I am paying maintenance. I’m willing to try shuttle mediation and I need your advice. My ex is willing to do mediation too.
 
What do you suggest I do? I need help!

Jamie



If this went to Court (it would need Mediation first) you have a strong case, as most things have happened, so in law she has considered everything up to when they did.

Where your existing agreement falls short, is the lack of "Quality Time" you both get. If every Saturday works for you both then fine, but my view is you would get more like a shared care plan.

In the week, picking your child up from school and if your taking the child straight to your ex, is not contact, its more like childminding. Having the child for plan then dinner and back would be contact, or even the child staying over

Quality Time is only considered to be school term weekends, and school holidays, so the normal starting point would be Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks (so you get a weekend each).

You might get an overnight stay mid week stay on your weekend, and ask for 1 or 2 on the other week as well.

Make it clear to your ex that this is the minimum you want in terms of contact, but in addition you are willing to help out with babysitting when you are available if she wants.

While money changing hands has no bearing on a case, for information when working out your Position, the Child Support brackets for staying contact is 0-52, 53-104, 105-156, 157-174 and 175+
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
I have now proposed mediation. I have offered her a Friday as this is a day when it's my exs' day off work. She is now saying she cannot do 2pm on a Friday as she has to pick up my daughter from school. I have now given her an alternative time on a Friday. She's now saying she has to think about mediation first and needs to speak to her Solicitor. She is also now proposing that we have mediation with the last mediator. But I feel that the last mediator couldn't control the meeeying and my ex distracted the meeting and she couldn't control it- therefore I want a different mediator.


So again she is using delaying tactics and is being difficult and looks like we can't even agree on a time and a place to mediate.

So what shall I do?

Do I just place a court order?

I feel like I'm getting no where with my situation.
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#4
(02-07-2017, 03:31 AM)lloydy76 Wrote: I have now proposed mediation. I have offered her a Friday as this is a day when it's my exs' day off  work. She is now saying she cannot do 2pm on a Friday as she has to pick up my daughter from school. I have now given her an alternative  time on a Friday. She's now saying she has to think about mediation first and needs to speak to her Solicitor. She is also now proposing that we have mediation with the last mediator. But I feel that the last mediator couldn't control the meeeying and my ex distracted the meeting and she couldn't control it- therefore I want a different mediator.


So again she is using delaying tactics and is being difficult and looks like we can't even agree on a time and a place to mediate.

So what shall I do?

Do I just place a court order?

I feel like I'm getting no where with my situation.
Obtain a no show letter from your Mediator, then apply to court.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
Shall I represent myself or go the expensive route and get a solicitor
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#6
(02-19-2017, 07:21 AM)lloydy76 Wrote: Shall I represent myself or go the expensive route and get a solicitor

Self Representing would not make much difference. A lot of the process is statements/reports you do outside court.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#7
Ok shall I represent myself then without a solicitor ?
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#8
yes go unrepresented. it is recommended nowadays as the judge gets to see your passion for your child. Court is scary but do not forget the scariest human on the planet is the man who has lost his children. Not that you should give into you instincts. As said before you have a strong case as she has given you over night stays already. So she would need to prove that more time with you would be damaging to the child. I was unrepresented and won everything I wanted after facing off against 1 solicitor 2 barista and the judge!
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