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Domestic violence
#1
Hi ,

Me and my ex split up 1 year ago and we have a 2 year old son. We are about to attempt mediation but if that doesn't work it will have to go to court. Basically I want shared care and she wants residency with contact. If it was to go to court would a small number of abusive text message over a year period be classed as domestic violence? She called the police and told them on one occasion I sent her abusive text but thebpolice never spoke to me. Iknow I should not have said stuff but at the time she was stopping me seeing my son and I was angry. On her letters from the solicitors their has been no accusations of DV but it says they are assisting her under the 'legal help ' provisions and I belive the only way she can get legal aid is through DV.

Any info would be great thank you.
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#2
You cannot be charged with domestic violence for abusive text messages, but you can be arrested and questioned if the tone or words are threatening and especially offering or suggesting violence. She can also apply for a non molestation order which will impact on your character and will show up on a search like a CPD check. I have recently appealed a domestic Violence case and won and the allegation was found to be without foundation. My advice is to keep it civil - give your partner no excuse; some women turn into monsters - mine was recording arguments after starting them and if you get into a situation where their is confrontation face to face ...remove yourself with a pleasant smile and say Im sorry i have to go. Write letters, dont text and never text after having alcohol Smile check that nothing you say or have written can be misconstrued. If you meet face to face carry a small Dictaphone in your pocket - this does two things 1.) reminds you to be reasonable because your on tape and 2.) provides evidence if she isn't.
Good luck with the mediation, I hope this helped.
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#3
(01-27-2017, 04:44 PM)Dadhl Wrote: Hi ,

Me and my ex split up 1 year ago and we have a 2 year old son. We are about to attempt mediation but if that doesn't work it will have to go to court. Basically I want shared care and she wants residency with contact. If it was to go to court would a small number of abusive text message over a year period be classed as domestic violence? She called the police and told them on one occasion I sent her abusive text but thebpolice never spoke to me. Iknow I should not have said stuff but at the time she was stopping me seeing my son and I was angry. On her letters from the solicitors their has been no accusations of DV but it says they are assisting her under the 'legal help ' provisions and I belive the only way she can get legal aid is through DV.

Any info would be great thank you.

I have a feeling a None Molestation Application is in progress, or she would not get legal aid.

If all she has is text messages, its not going to run on Merit.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
(01-27-2017, 04:44 PM)Dadhl Wrote: Hi ,

Me and my ex split up 1 year ago and we have a 2 year old son. We are about to attempt mediation but if that doesn't work it will have to go to court. Basically I want shared care and she wants residency with contact. If it was to go to court would a small number of abusive text message over a year period be classed as domestic violence? She called the police and told them on one occasion I sent her abusive text but thebpolice never spoke to me. Iknow I should not have said stuff but at the time she was stopping me seeing my son and I was angry. On her letters from the solicitors their has been no accusations of DV but it says they are assisting her under the 'legal help ' provisions and I belive the only way she can get legal aid is through DV.

Any info would be great thank you.

The police wouldnt of spoke to you first time , but it will be logged and recorded you sent the texts. If it was to happen they would be likely to phone /visit you or even arrest depending how serious it was . Even more than few texts can be classed as harrassement even if you arent been abusive. Normally a good way for your ex partner to get free representation against you through legal aid. They will probably try and get a non-molestation order now like Mark said to try and get legal aid and you could find you wrongly accused of things!
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#5
Thanks for the advice. I have been very careful with text I have sent and only discussed issues about arrangements for my son and his welfare with her as I and having contact with him. I have never had a conviction against me relating to any incident with her. I was arrested under suspect assault on her father at her home address but was released with no further action due to lack of evidence. I have a feeling they are trying to set me up they keep accusing me of failing to return my son when agreed but due to her solicitor taking 2 weeks to respond to me. I spoke to me ex over christmas and she allowed the arrangements to go ahead and then lied. I meet up with her for handovers of my child and we discuss thing fine and she text me back so if she is teplying is that still grounds for harrasment? but it's seems like outside influence is making things worst. This has been going on for 2 months with solicitors now and we are trying to sort out arrangements for my son but I'm not willing to agree to her as resident parent I'm trying for a shared care arrangement. I'm just currently awaiting a response from her solicitor.
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#6
(01-28-2017, 04:37 PM)Dadhl Wrote: Thanks for the advice. I have been very careful with text I have sent and only discussed issues about arrangements for my son and his welfare with her as I and having contact with him.  I have never had a conviction against me relating to any incident with her. I was arrested under suspect assault on her father at her home address but was released with no further action due to lack of evidence. I have a feeling they are trying to set me up they keep accusing me of failing to return my son when agreed but due to her solicitor taking 2 weeks to respond to me. I spoke to me ex over christmas and she allowed the arrangements to go ahead and then lied. I meet up with her for handovers of my child and we discuss thing fine and she text me back so if she is teplying is that still grounds for harrasment? but it's seems like outside influence is making things worst.  This has been going on for 2 months with solicitors now and we are trying to sort out arrangements for my son but I'm not willing to agree to her as resident parent I'm trying for a shared care arrangement. I'm just currently awaiting a response from her solicitor.

It is very unlikely the joint custody is ordered nowadays, due to how the Welfare Benefit Reforms changed things.

In most cases, even if shared care, the order will say along the lines of xxxx LIVES WITH xxxx and spends time with xxxx as follows.

You will normaly have a school term timetable then something to cover school holidays.

This makes that person the resident parent, but does not alter the fact you have PR. Your opinion should be sort of Medical and Education things, but the Resident Parent does have the final say unless your make a Specific Issue Application, if you did not agree with their decision on any Education or Medical matter.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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