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Unfair
#1
Hi i recently had an issue with seeing my twins because my car broke down, my ex had to be at her other daughters dance show to help set it up, i was just starting up the car to leave to go get them when the power steering went and the wipers had earlier already stopped working which is dangerous in the rain, if i had got my kids in the car and the power steering went on a corner i could of crashed so in a way i was glad it packed up when it did, not that i didnt want to see my kids as i love them all so much, so i rang her up told her i couldnt get them as car needed to be fixed asap as i need to go to work to earn the money to pay for them, she just lost the plot crying and screming at me down the phone, which just isnt on in front of the kids in my opinion she demanded i get a taxi right there and then, i told her simply that i was sorry but i had to get the car fixed she just screamed at me it wasnt going to change anything, i understood her frustration but she always expects me to jump when she says how high, she is really controlling like that, in the end i had to hang up on her because she was not accepting i needed to get my car sorted, so she messaged me on facebook saying im useless father that twins dont need me she dont want my money and to take her to court and she blocked me and said take her to court im not seeing them, later i looked on her facebook wall as she only blocked me on messenger and i saw she soon found someone to look after the twins as she said she was getting drunk, if not then she shouldnt get drunk around 9 month old twins, i pay her £200 by postal cheque so i can have receipts as proof, i pay £100 for my 3 year old daughter, who in the same situation understood about the car and i said id have my daughter next weekend, but now im feeling sick and upset that i cant see my twins, when it comes to my weekend if she doesnt let me have them i want t ogo to court, i also know she doesnt allow me to pay money to her bank account as she said they will charge her more rent if they know i pay her... just want to see my kids help bring them up have a happy healthy life everything was fine untill that car broke down but she has just kicked off now, any ideas what i should do..?
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#2
(01-29-2017, 10:07 AM)Grayhamb Wrote: Hi i recently had an issue with seeing my twins because my car broke down, my ex had to be at her other daughters dance show to help set it up, i was just starting up the car to leave to go get them when the power steering went and the wipers had earlier already stopped working which is dangerous in the rain, if i had got my kids in the car and the power steering went on a corner i could of crashed so in a way i was glad it packed up when it did, not that i didnt want to see my kids as i love them all so much, so i rang her up told her i couldnt get them as car needed to be fixed asap as i need to go to work to earn the money to pay for them, she just lost the plot crying and screming at me down the phone, which just isnt on in front of the kids in my opinion she demanded i get a taxi right there and then, i told her simply that i was sorry but i had to get the car fixed she just screamed at me it wasnt going to change anything, i understood her frustration but she always expects me to jump when she says how high, she is really controlling like that, in the end i had to hang up on her because she was not accepting i needed to get my car sorted, so she messaged me on facebook saying im useless father that twins dont need me she dont want my money and to take her to court and she blocked me and said take her to court im not seeing them, later i looked on her facebook wall as she only blocked me on messenger and i saw she soon found someone to look after the twins as she said she was getting drunk, if not then she shouldnt get drunk around 9 month old twins, i pay her £200 by postal cheque so i can have receipts as proof, i pay £100 for my 3 year old daughter, who in the same situation understood about the car and i said id have my daughter next weekend, but now im feeling sick and upset that i cant see my twins, when it comes to my weekend if she doesnt let me have them i want t ogo to court, i also know she doesnt allow me to pay money to her bank account as she said they will charge her more rent if they know i pay her... just want to see my kids help bring them up have a happy healthy life everything was fine untill that car broke down but she has just kicked off now, any ideas what i should do..?

The money side of things is a separate issue to Child Arrangements, and it has no bearing on it.

Either you pay what you have agreed (what is called a Family Based Agreement), or either of you can open a case with CMS. In a CMS case you have to be given bank details to make the payments.

I have no idea why she is saying about paying more rent, as Child Benefit and Child Support is not considered as income for any means tested benefit (including Housing Benefit or the rent part if she is in an area using Universal Credit).

She is not correct on this, but if she was, she is saying she wants to commit benefit fraud.

Use this link, to check what you should be paying http://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance
In a CMS case, this amount is fully inclusive and you can not be made to pay any more than CMS say.

If you are not getting the contact you want, then you need Mediation (unless you have done this and either party has not followed the agreement), when you get the right to go to court. You can also got to court in a Mediation No Show or Deadlock situation.

Your 1 no show is not enough for her to stop contact, but if you have any evidence of it keep it to hand (for example a repair bill).
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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