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My ex emotionally and physically abusing our sons
#1
Hi All

My ex wife is emotionally and physically abusing our 12 and 8 years sons. She is shouting on them like crazy. Calling them i.e. "nancy". She is swearing to them and beating them with her hand. In last 5 years she has changed about 3-4 times school for them.  
We have as well third son (18) who run from her to me about 4 years ago because her exactly the same behaviour.
Now my middle son have enough and wants to live with me as well. Every time when he is with me he asking me with tears in eyes when I can take him.
Because I don't want to leave the youngest one alone with her I would like to get custody both of them.
How I can do this quickly?
Can I take my sons and protect them before I will apply to court for custody? For example one day take them from her and not give them back and in the same time ask court about custody?
I don't want to let them suffer any longer. 
What is the best way to deal with her?

Thank you for all help
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#2
Wish I could - sure some on here can - but for (bad words) sake don't go down the not giving them back route - it sounds good, protecting the kids etc, but Abduction / Kidnapping etc could be your future problems - you'll be likely to do more damage to your case than anything else - it might sound good but you could be condemning your youngest to ten more years with her, instead of few more months if you do things properly and don't get yourself arrested. Remember applying for custody is NOT the same as having it.

The best way has to be legal - see one, two or more lawyers - start booking appointments 08:00 tomorrow and ask then about emergency care orders or the like - but remember it'll be upto YOU to prove what you say is true - not her to prove it is untrue - and if you can't it'll be classed as false accusations and NOT be good for your case in the future.

Good Luck.
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#3
Also depends what arrangements you have in place i.e. existing court order. If you breach that then its you who is in trouble

Go slow and careful - think long term - the post by LearningDad is great advice

You need independent witnesses... I wonder if contacting the previous schools and asking why the kids were moved may give you insight?

Also (i know its only a post on here and you're emotional but...) look at your post - there is no such thing as "about 3 or 4 times" ... its 3 or its 4 and you should know, they are your kids

The reason i point this out is the same reason as the post above... if you go to social services, police or legal .... you'd better know your facts otherwise you come across as your words against hers

Lastly - once kids get to 10 years old - their wishes are considered so as part of a contact arrangement they could request to live with you and it would be considered
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#4
Thank you for your reply Smile

When I wrote that I will not give my sons back, I did not mean that I would like to kidnap them. What if they will refuse go back to her? I heard that even Police cannot force them to go back. Last weekend my 12 years son told me that he don't want to go back.

About proving that everything what I am saying is true: my sons will confirm this, I have witness - my ex - ex boyfriend who lived with her last few months and one of her neighbour.

How much can cost the whole case?
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