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DNA dilemma
#1
Hi guys,

I am going through hell right now and need some advice.

Long story short I found about my daughter out of blue 3 years ago when she was 5 years old. Home DNA test was completed by mother and results came back stating I was father. All progressed fine for a while I was paying towards upkeep and having regular contact.

Then about a year ago social services started getting involved with the mother as she was not looking after basic needs of our daughter and during that involvement a few weeks ago it came to light an accusation from a previous family that our daughter mother may have faked a DNA result letter and sent it to them confirming that he was the biological father (this obv happened before I came on the scene)

In light of this revelation I was instructed by the local authority to have another DNA test done, this one is the full legal test which admissable in court. Results have just come back and turns out I'm not the father.

To say I'm in shock is an understatement. The mother denies this result can be possible but i suspect she may have doctored the letter to me all that time ago.

She is of course demanding a new test take place but I have been assured by local authority who have received the full chain of custody to prove the tests sampled were in fact of myself, her and our daughter.

I am now at a loss as to what to do for the best as I know she has already filled the little girls head with lies about how I don't love her etc when jay couldn't be further from the truth.

Can these legal tests give a false negative, is there any chance of error using this legal procedure. I'm assuming it eliminates any doubt or errors along the way.

Any advice would be great as I really am in bits right now.
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#2
Hi,

In my case a court ordered a sample swipe from the child + mother + father to be taken under supervision at a lawyers office.

Mother and Father had to identify themselves with photographic ID.

Mother was required to provide a swipe to make sure it is her baby.

In most cases a swipe from the Father and the child will be sufficient also.

The result comes back with 99.999999% of probability that you are either the dad or that you are not. That would show on your result also.

If she has done a home selftest you have no way of knowing if that was manipulated or not.

If the test now says you are not Dad then it is very unlikely that they have made a mistake.

In a case like yours you would want to make sure and I would go for a retest also. Take a different lab or company.

Your child is 8 years now and it is also her right to know if you are really her dad or if there is someone else.

If it turns out that you are not Dad than emotionally this will be a complete nightmare for you and your child and it is completely up to you if you then still want to commit to your child.

F.
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#3
Thanks f

I know the test this time round was all above board. Approved samplers came to mine took swabs checked id and photographed me for further verification. Same with daughter and mother. The company have checked and re checked procedures for this test and are satisfied they have given out the correct result.

Mother is still adamant in front of social services this is incorrect, although I suspect this may be to save face and protect the lie she has been leading all this time.

I do suspect the result that has come back this time is the correct one and it breaks my heart to think of the pain this will cause for her and myself.

However for complete peace of mind a retest may be the best course to categorically prove either way.
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#4
Hi,

Also try to seek some help to cope with all your emotions you will get hit by another negative result.

You can't really prepare your body for news like that...

F.
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#5
(01-30-2017, 10:33 PM)Andrewnw Wrote: Hi guys,

I am going through hell right now and need some advice.

Long story short I found about my daughter out of blue  3 years ago when she was 5 years old. Home DNA test was completed by mother and results came back stating I was father. All progressed fine for a while I was paying towards upkeep and having regular contact.

Then about a year ago social services started getting involved with the mother as she was not looking after basic needs of our daughter and during that involvement a few weeks ago it came to light an accusation from a previous family that our daughter mother may have faked a DNA result letter and sent it to them confirming that he was the biological father (this obv happened before I came on the scene)

In light of this revelation I was instructed by the local authority to have another DNA test done, this one is the full legal test which admissable in court. Results have just come back and turns out I'm not the father.

To say I'm in shock is an understatement. The mother denies this result can be possible but i suspect she may have doctored the letter to me all that time ago.

She is of course demanding a new test take place but I have been assured by local authority who have received the full chain of custody to prove the tests sampled were in fact of myself, her and our daughter.

I am now at a loss as to what to do for the best as I know she has already filled the little girls head with lies about how I don't love her etc when jay couldn't be further from the truth.

Can these legal tests give a false negative, is there any chance of error using this legal procedure. I'm assuming it eliminates any doubt or errors along the way.

Any advice would be great as I really am in bits right now.

Report this to the Police, if she has tried to obtain money from you by due to the fraud.

As long as you paid for the test what can be evidenced in a court, the result stands.

Do you have PR for the Child? If you do, then in my opinion this does not change that fact so unless either of you wanted to revoke it at court, what means you could still have Contact, or even go for Residency due to the Local Authority's concerns.

Only the natural parents in law have to pay Child Support, so stop any payments. If CMS are involved, inform them (they might want to see the DNA result text). If you have having to pay Child Support under a Court Order, apply to have it revoked.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#6
Hi mark,

As for reporting this to the police I'm not sure I can prove fraud as the original letter received stating I was the father was lost in a fire. I know the letter existed but I cannot prove it was a fake at this stage, as much as I would like to see her pay for this deceit.

I do not have PR as again, this was something once this supposed formality of DNA was complete I expected it to confirm I was the father and obtaining PR was the next step in the process. So I don't know where I stand now with that. As much as I would like to still have contact I can't right this second get over the fact I have been lied to all this time and don't want to ever speak to her mum ever again.
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#7
Wow... respect to you for having to deal with this.

I don't know what i would do ... but without all the emotional turmoil you are going through i can offer an option

Take some pride in the fact that you have supported that kid emotionally and financially over the last few years ... being a real dad is not based on biology, its based on your heart

The choice you have to make is do you want to be involved for the rest of your life .... take some time... you are (rightly) angry with the mother.
Its going to be difficult to have a positive relationship with the mum and therefore that will impact your relationship with the kid

If you can afford it, I would forget about the money you supported with over last 3 years - its gone. You did the right thing with the information you had at the time.
But its no longer your responsibility to pay... there are benefits mechanisms in place to support the mother and child to a proper level and of course the 'biological' father
I think i would want to change the relationship to more of a Uncle /Niece or Godfather.... days out, but her some new shoes and toys when you want

I hope someone has a better option as this sounds really crap when i read it back but its written by someone not emotionally involved

Hope it helps - if only to get you thinking
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#8
Sorry to hear this Andrew, I can only imagine how confused you must be.

I try and be a best friend to my girls, and someone they can confide in, and trust.

That doesn't have to change for you necessarily.
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#9
Post of the month @ LTCDAD

You have been given some really really good advise here. Take pride in what you did!!!

I don't know if it's even worth for you looking into but in my country you can bring a claim against the biological father (if he is ever established) to re-emburse you for the maintenance paid.

But again, take pride in it. Financially you maybe at a loss but you took care and raised that child like your own. You gave that child a dad!!!

F.
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#10
Thanks for all the advice guys you have been a great help.

I have no interest to try and get the money back and I do take great pride in the time spent while being her dad.

I just wish that the result was different but I am slowly coming to terms with the harsh reality that I have been dealt. And I hope that her mum can finally be open and honest and figure out who is her true biological father to allow her to have that positive relationship she so deserves.
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