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Proving a Child lives with Dad
#1
Hi everyone
Newbie here,
After 15 years of the usual aggro from the ex  i have had my 18 year old son come and live with me. He's a smashing fellow and i am really proud of him and despite the ex he has turned out very level headed. 
I have had stay overs every other weekend and lots of other contact time and holidays over the years. The ex has had 70k out of me for the pleasure.
Of course this is fantastic for us now my son is here and generally we have managed to sort his Bank, College, Copy of Birth Cert, Driving License etc etc. (hes a full time college student)
The big problem is the Child Maintenance service and in Particular my ex will not admit my son now lives with me. She still wants money to maintain her nice lifestyle (Currently on her third foreign holiday this year despite only working 15 hrs a week)
So the crux of the matter is that the CMS will only consider that my son lives with me if i get the Child Benefit which i have applied for. My ex will obviously say my son is still with her.
My question is how do i go about challenging the ex and proving to the Child Benefit people that my son is resident with me. I read on the .GOV website there is a right of appeal to the decision they make but has anyone been down this route?
All advice very gratefully received.
Kingy
Reply
#2
(05-13-2016, 09:23 PM)Kingy Wrote: Hi everyone
Newbie here,
After 15 years of the usual aggro from the ex  i have had my 18 year old son come and live with me. He's a smashing fellow and i am really proud of him and despite the ex he has turned out very level headed. 
I have had stay overs every other weekend and lots of other contact time and holidays over the years. The ex has had 70k out of me for the pleasure.
Of course this is fantastic for us now my son is here and generally we have managed to sort his Bank, College, Copy of Birth Cert, Driving License etc etc. (hes a full time college student)
The big problem is the Child Maintenance service and in Particular my ex will not admit my son now lives with me. She still wants money to maintain her nice lifestyle (Currently on her third foreign holiday this year despite only working 15 hrs a week)
So the crux of the matter is that the CMS will only consider that my son lives with me if i get the Child Benefit which i have applied for. My ex will obviously say my son is still with her.
My question is how do i go about challenging the ex and proving to the Child Benefit people that my son is resident with me. I read on the .GOV website there is a right of appeal to the decision they make but has anyone been down this route?
All advice very gratefully received.
Kingy

It does come down to Child Benefit Status, but you have the right to ask for backdate up to 30 days.

However, put in a claim for Working and Child Tax Credit, you can do this by phoning 0345 3003900.

State you want them to take a claim, to preserve the date of claim, and that Child Benefit is currently being contested. (The law is they can only take a claim from first contact, but its then held pending Child Benefits decision.

As soon as they are avaliable, send Child Benefit his bank statement, any letters from Collage address to him at your address, and a copy of his driving licence.

Your Son is an "adult" in the eyes of the law, so he can also make a legally binding statement to Child Benefit he lives with you for 51% or longer.

I would write to your ex, clearly stating that you son moved in with you on (state date), and that as a result, you want all "Child Support" payments refunded from that date. Give her 14 days to get back to you, but put her on notice of small cliams court action if it does not happen.

It might seam petty, but I would also put in a claim with CMS, for her to pay support, just to prove a point. Again this will go on hold, untill Child Benefit decicde on it.

(05-13-2016, 09:46 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(05-13-2016, 09:23 PM)Kingy Wrote: Hi everyone
Newbie here,
After 15 years of the usual aggro from the ex  i have had my 18 year old son come and live with me. He's a smashing fellow and i am really proud of him and despite the ex he has turned out very level headed. 
I have had stay overs every other weekend and lots of other contact time and holidays over the years. The ex has had 70k out of me for the pleasure.
Of course this is fantastic for us now my son is here and generally we have managed to sort his Bank, College, Copy of Birth Cert, Driving License etc etc. (hes a full time college student)
The big problem is the Child Maintenance service and in Particular my ex will not admit my son now lives with me. She still wants money to maintain her nice lifestyle (Currently on her third foreign holiday this year despite only working 15 hrs a week)
So the crux of the matter is that the CMS will only consider that my son lives with me if i get the Child Benefit which i have applied for. My ex will obviously say my son is still with her.
My question is how do i go about challenging the ex and proving to the Child Benefit people that my son is resident with me. I read on the .GOV website there is a right of appeal to the decision they make but has anyone been down this route?
All advice very gratefully received.
Kingy

It does come down to Child Benefit Status, but you have the right to ask for backdate up to 30 days.

However, put in a claim for Working and Child Tax Credit, you can do this by phoning 0345 3003900.

State you want them to take a claim, to preserve the date of claim, and that Child Benefit is currently being contested. (The law is they can only take a claim from first contact, but its then held pending Child Benefits decision.

As soon as they are avaliable, send Child Benefit his bank statement, any letters from Collage address to him at your address, and a copy of his driving licence.

Your Son is an "adult" in the eyes of the law, so he can also make a legally binding statement to Child Benefit he lives with you for 51% or longer.

I would write to your ex, clearly stating that you son moved in with you on (state date), and that as a result, you want all "Child Support" payments refunded from that date. Give her 14 days to get back to you, but put her on notice of small cliams court action if it does not happen.

It might seam petty, but I would also put in a claim with CMS, for her to pay support, just to prove a point. Again this will go on hold, untill Child Benefit decicde on it.

Also, is there any other children who you are the farther living with her?

If so there are other issues, as your child support amount would drop as your supporting one of them
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#3
My eldest son is 21 and finishes at University this term. I pay him a weekly allowance directly.
I do have a 10 year old step son who i support and claim CB for.
The CMA said that once the decision on Child benefit was made i could then contact the CMO team to arrange a claim.
If i  understand your advice correctly i should do that asap?
Regarding Working Tax Credit i think my Salary is above anything that would make me eligible but i will look into it.
I fully intend to claim against her as you suggest, not because i want to prove a point, its more that she could have played fair and we would have not asked her for a penny. Now i will claim what  i am legally entitled to and give whatever i get to our Son.
Thanks again
Kingy
Reply
#4
(05-13-2016, 10:11 PM)Kingy Wrote: My eldest son is 21 and finishes at University this term. I pay him a weekly allowance directly.
I do have a 10 year old step son who i support and claim CB for.
The CMA said that once the decision on Child benefit was made i could then contact the CMO team to arrange a claim.
If i  understand your advice correctly i should do that asap?
Regarding Working Tax Credit i think my Salary is above anything that would make me eligible but i will look into it.
I fully intend to claim against her as you suggest, not because i want to prove a point, its more that she could have played fair and we would have not asked her for a penny. Now i will claim what  i am legally entitled to and give whatever i get to our Son.
Thanks again
Kingy

Legally, the 21 year old does not come into it, while the is no legal reason to, your not creating a contract with your ex and doing the right thing by him while at Uni.

Do CM know about the step son. Under current rules, he is considered a dependent if you, or your current partner get Child Benefit for him.

Link to current calculator, http://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance/y Note that currently, as well as him, your supporting the 18 year old, in any results.

Yes, instruct CM now, on the basis that evidance exists  in the form of bank statement, driving licence and letters from collage, as well as his statement confirming where he lives, that any claim after investigation should be backdated to this date, as well as a refund for payments made to them above the lawfull amount retrospectivly.

Re Working Tax Credit and anything else you can get, http://www.entitledto.co.uk Make sure you enter correct detail, regarding children, only who you or a current partner get (or will get) child benefit for.

This considers your current situation, so if you have a partner and dependent children as a result, include them in the calculation.

Put cliams in, and inform them, that Child Benefit is currently under dispute, but you want the claim backdated to date you asked, once the outcome is known.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#5
Ok Thanks for the clarification.
Yes stepson was already in the calculation for CM before my son moved in. Also my private pension contribution.
My wife does not get a penny from wages or benefits as she is at College full time (Wife and Stepson in UK on a settlement visa)
I ran the calculation and as suspected i wont get any Tax Credits so i will go down the CMO route this morning.
Also i find it ridiculous that the CMO to register a claim and then the CMS once its processed.
Only the Gov't could replace the CSA with something equally as biased against a working father IMO. (rant over)
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#6
I see a lot of threads end without updates so i will continue my experience for anyones interest:
Called the Child Maintenance Options team and went through the process of claiming against my ex.
Then i was transferred to the Child Maintenance service and basically went through the same stuff.
Paid my £20 for collect and pay as i know mt ex won't pay a bean without that in place.
Also complained about poor advice from the previous case worker who had told me to wait for the original case (when i was paying the ex) to close.
They assure me they will look into this and i will now await the CB to be awarded to me. I called the CB office but unless its been 5 weeks since application they won't chase it up.
Kingy
Reply
#7
(05-17-2016, 02:07 PM)Kingy Wrote: I see a lot of threads end without updates so i will continue my experience for anyones interest:
Called the Child Maintenance Options team and went through the process of claiming against my ex.
Then i was transferred to the Child Maintenance service and basically went through the same stuff.
Paid my £20 for collect and pay as i know mt ex won't pay a bean without that in place.
Also complained about poor advice from the previous case worker who had told me to wait for the original case (when i was paying the ex) to close.
They assure me they will look into this and i will now await the CB to be awarded to me. I called the CB office but unless its been 5 weeks since application they won't chase it up.
Kingy

There is a big problem in law about when the Resident Parent changes, as currently you have up to 30 days to report changes.

This only changes when someone else makes a claim for the same child, when a letter goes out giving them 14 days to respond, but then post sent to them is on a further 2 week turn round.

Ex partners often wait till the last few days, as they know payments carry on until the time expires or they send back the form. If there is a counter claim for it, then there is further delay as they ask either parent for prove they have the child 51% or longer.

There is a way for speeding it up, but it might cost you. Get a copy of your court order certified (this might cost up to £20, any Soliciter can do it), and sent it to them with a letter requestiong that a decision is made bassed on the court order.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#8
Update:
My ex has acknowledged with the CMS the fact that my son moved in with me April 15th but insist its temporary. I think its good for us that she has agreed the actual date.
No contact from my sons mother. Not a call Txt or email to him in 5 weeks. Her parting shot was that she was going to kill me and never speak to him again. I actually hope she does contact him at some point but won't loose any sweat if she doesn't. I think he is now aware of the fact she only wanted the money.
This has been great for me as a father. All the things i wanted to say to my son i now don't have to.
So for now its a waiting game.
One thought though is that if i still have to pay her for the last few weeks even though my son had moved in with me can i go to court and prove my son had moved in with me and get the monies refunded?
Kingy
Reply
#9
(05-22-2016, 09:53 AM)Kingy Wrote: Update:
My ex has acknowledged with the CMS the fact that my son moved in with me April 15th  but insist its temporary. I think its good for us that she has agreed the actual date.
No contact from my sons mother. Not a call Txt or email to him in 5 weeks. Her parting shot was that she was going to kill me and never speak to him again.  I actually hope she does contact him at some point but won't loose any sweat if she doesn't.  I think he is now aware of the fact she only wanted the money.
This has been great for me as a father. All the things i wanted to say to my son i now don't have to.
So for now its a waiting game.
One thought though is that if i still have to pay her for the last few weeks even though my son had moved in with me can i go to court and prove my son had moved in with me and get the monies refunded?
Kingy

Has Child Benefit been moved or is it in the process of being moved into your name? Have you made a claim for Tax Credits? (if you have it will go on hold pending a decision by Child Benefit).

This Temp cllaim, might be an attempt by her to keep Child Benefit and Tax Credits in payment to her.

You need to get some sort of Formal Document done to prove the arrangments, and if she is claiming its Temp, you need an end date on it.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#10
Hi Mark
I have claimed the child allowance and lodged a claim against the ex for Child Maintenance.
I earn too much to qualify for any other benefit.
I did call the CB office but their automated response stated that unless the claim had been submitted more than 5 weeks ago they won't be able to update me.
Since i did a deal with CMS to pay the ex up to the date my son moved in with me its all gone very quiet from her side.
She hasn't even contacted my son to arrange some contact which i have no objection to.
Not sure how i can make anything formal.
We have on the advice of my bank gone online and applied for a new NI letter for my son as this will show his new address.
The saga continues.
Kingy
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