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Forced Communication with Ex
#1
My ex and I are currently going through a hostile court case for contact (after multiple breaches of orders by ex and sub standard parenting).  I have no contact with my ex and have previously  have had to make a complaint of harassment to Police when ex started messaging 100s of times and tried kicking my door in when drunk.  Social Services are now involved and say I have to learn how to communicate with her.  I want nothing to do with her.  I pick the kids up from outside the house or school.  Can they force me to have contact with her as I really do not want to have to deal with her at all.
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#2
(02-06-2017, 03:34 PM)mariland Wrote: My ex and I are currently going through a hostile court case for contact (after multiple breaches of orders by ex and sub standard parenting).  I have no contact with my ex and have previously  have had to make a complaint of harassment to Police when ex started messaging 100s of times and tried kicking my door in when drunk.  Social Services are now involved and say I have to learn how to communicate with her.  I want nothing to do with her.  I pick the kids up from outside the house or school.  Can they force me to have contact with her as I really do not want to have to deal with her at all.

If either parent does not want contact with the other, its up to them to sort out acceptable arrangements for collecting and returning the children.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Hi,

Whatever the legal stand is on this subject here in the U.K. you would also need to consider what this potentially does to your children emotionally. In my country refusing to communicate to the other parent even on a very basic level would give reasons to a court to take PR away from you for example.

You are going through the courts at the moment and obviously things are bad between you and your ex.

Trust me all Dads on this forum experienced this feeling at some stage of their journey but it does not have to stay that way.

Try to dose it and to slow it down if you feel your ex bombards you with messages. Give her a dedicated email address to which you will only access 1-2 times per week.

You need communication on some level to make this work.

Do you not feel your children pick this up and that this hostility will affect them on some level?

What do you do when your children invite you to their birthday party at your ex's house?

Would you not go just because you can't stand your ex?

F.
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#4
(02-06-2017, 08:39 PM)Frisbos Wrote: Hi,
[quote pid='8206' dateline='1486413560']
I've atever the legal stand is one his subject here in the U.K. you would also need to consider what this potentially does to your children emotionally. In my country refusing to communicate to the other parent even on a very basic level would give reasons to a court to take PR away from you for example.


You are going through the courts at the moment and obviously things are bad between you and your ex.

Trust me all Dads on this forum experienced this feeling at some stage of their journey but it does not have to stay that way.

Try to dose it and to slow it down if you feel your ex bombards you with messages. Give her a dedicated email address to which you will only access 1-2 times per week.

You need communication on some level to make this work.

Do you not feel your children pick this up and that this hostility will affect them on some level?

What do you do when your children invite you to their birthday party at your ex's house?

Would you not go just because you can't stand your ex?

F.
[/quote]

Here's what I've put up with in the last 4 years:
Ex breached every court order for contact - about 7 of them
Made proven false allegation when she was drunk that I've stolen from her
Made proven false allegations that I kidnapped the children when they were sleeping over at mine under a court order
Made proven false allegations of child abuse against my partner who works in a nursery and had to report to her work - 4 times
Made proven false allegations of assault by my partner
Turned up drunk kicking my door in in the middle of the night when children staying with me
Turned up drunk on multiple occasions at handover
Made proven malicious calls and messages - around 300 - all when children with me
Made proven false allegations that the children hate me and are terrified of me - authorities say untrue and children desperate to see me

And i should try to be nice to her! What has all that done to the children? What would happen to my ex in your country i wonder because here it is absolutely nothing!
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#5
Hi,

You are in complete control of yourself and only you can decide how you want this to move forward - if at all.

In doing so you do not need to be nice to your ex and neither need you to submit to anything.

Take the gear into neutral and keep emotions out but you will need to communicate to her on some level.

Hating this person for the rest of your life will only cost you valuable time of your own life.
There are greater things in life. Ain't worth it.

I am just trying to give you another viewpoint.

My list is as long as yours and I will never forgive my partner for what she has put my children and me through but I am not prepared to give her victory over me also.

I have established a certain distance and try to be supportive. It is far from perfect or being normal but still it's a new start.

In my country and your situation most likely they would take PR of Dad reasoning co-parenting is not possible due to him refusing to communicate.

Mum would have to fear almost nothing. Maybe the court would make her pay a fine depending on income for breaking an order.

So for Mum's it's almost everywhere the same, for Dad's the UK is ahead and much more progressive than in my country.

Anyway, I did not want you to feel you must change. It's entirely up to you.

F.
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