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court hearing soon- position paper submitted
#1
I have full court hearing coming up, evidence based apparently. I have been told I will be cross examined by my ex's barrister ( oh joy ). Anyways the hearing is to deal with my request for alternate days at weekend and another overnight during week. ( I have one during week currently plus my sat to Sunday weekend contact ) .

My reasoning although obvious to me I seemingly need to explain/justify how more time for my son with his father is a good thing and that the alternate weekend days will allow me to have much greater choice of activities I can do with him instead of being tied down to same Saturday afternoon 3pm to sunday afternoon 3pm. My son is currently two years old.

So I'm wondering does anyone have any experience of a full evidence based hearing like this being cross examined etc.  I suffer from anxiety so I cant say i'm looking forward to it . I have been in court hearing previously with barrister about contact but did not have to take the stand and get cross examined so this is a little different.

Any help appreciated  Smile
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#2
(02-07-2017, 10:52 AM)ruxpin2512 Wrote: I have full court hearing coming up, evidence based apparently. I have been told I will be cross examined by my ex's barrister ( oh joy ). Anyways the hearing is to deal with my request for alternate days at weekend and another overnight during week. ( I have one during week currently plus my sat to Sunday weekend contact ) .

My reasoning although obvious to me I seemingly need to explain/justify how more time for my son with his father is a good thing and that the alternate weekend days will allow me to have much greater choice of activities I can do with him instead of being tied down to same Saturday afternoon 3pm to sunday afternoon 3pm. My son is currently two years old.

So I'm wondering does anyone have any experience of a full evidence based hearing like this being cross examined etc.  I suffer from anxiety so I cant say i'm looking forward to it . I have been in court hearing previously with barrister about contact but did not have to take the stand and get cross examined so this is a little different.

Any help appreciated  Smile

I've been cross examined twice, FDR hearing and a directions hearing...the FDR was by the Exes Barrister and she basically tore me to pieces. Not a nice experience I'm afraid...also the judge disliked me so I basically lost everything...im not bothered about the material stuff like the ex is, she still wont let me get my personal possessions out as the judge awarded her the contents of the house but I see my kids and keep smiling..

just be honest and take your time and state why it would be beneficial for all parties for it change.

good luck!
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#3
(02-07-2017, 11:38 AM)mrbungle Wrote:
(02-07-2017, 10:52 AM)ruxpin2512 Wrote: I have full court hearing coming up, evidence based apparently. I have been told I will be cross examined by my ex's barrister ( oh joy ). Anyways the hearing is to deal with my request for alternate days at weekend and another overnight during week. ( I have one during week currently plus my sat to Sunday weekend contact ) .

My reasoning although obvious to me I seemingly need to explain/justify how more time for my son with his father is a good thing and that the alternate weekend days will allow me to have much greater choice of activities I can do with him instead of being tied down to same Saturday afternoon 3pm to sunday afternoon 3pm. My son is currently two years old.

So I'm wondering does anyone have any experience of a full evidence based hearing like this being cross examined etc.  I suffer from anxiety so I cant say i'm looking forward to it . I have been in court hearing previously with barrister about contact but did not have to take the stand and get cross examined so this is a little different.

Any help appreciated  Smile

I've been cross examined twice, FDR hearing and a directions hearing...the FDR was by the Exes Barrister and she basically tore me to pieces. Not a nice experience I'm afraid...also the judge disliked me so I basically lost everything...im not bothered about the material stuff like the ex is, she still wont let me get my personal possessions out as the judge awarded her the contents of the house but I see my kids and keep smiling..

just be honest and take your time and state why it would be beneficial for all parties for it change.

good luck!

oh lord sounds like a nightmare hahaha
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#4
Hi, I have not been cross examined, or even been to court, but bear this in mind, the barrister is only another person with no rights in law to say you may only have contact with your child on certain days, they are there to try and persuade the judge to make an order in your ex's favour, so make sure you make written notes written clearly, or typed in large font, that you have in front of you in an order which makes it easy to find them, why it is beneficial for your child to have the contact you have requested with you, remember it's ALWAYS the child's benefit not yours, so NEVER say "your" benefit, also never belittle or call your ex, say she things like she is a good mum and does all she can to bring up the child well, etc, then go on to say what qualities you can bring to the child's up bringing etc. This make you seem a reasonable and good person who is not bitter.
Make sure you have separate notes to cover all possible accusations you reasonably think may be thrown at you.
Don't think you can ad lib as you know what you'll say when questioned in court, if you do know what you will say make plenty of time before hand to write your notes up, and if possible have someone you trust who is neutral to read over the notes, They could make suggestions on things you have overlooked.

You may be confident about what your reasoning is but the last thing you want is to get "stage" fright and just go blank, that's why you need those notes. Even barristers use notes.

I know you may already know all the above, but sometimes it helps if someone actually reminds you anyway.

Good Luck and maybe you can let the forum know the outcome of your hearing and what was asked and it may help others about to face the same situation.
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#5
(02-07-2017, 12:06 PM)NewHill123 Wrote: Hi, I have not been cross examined, or even been to court, but bear this in mind, the barrister is only another person with no rights in law to say you may only have contact with your child on certain days, they are there to try and persuade the judge to make an order in your ex's favour, so make sure you make written notes written clearly, or typed in large font, that you have in front of you in an order which makes it easy to find them, why it is beneficial for your child to have the contact you have requested with you, remember it's ALWAYS the child's benefit not yours, so NEVER say "your" benefit, also never belittle or call your ex, say she things like she is a good mum and does all she can to bring up the child well, etc, then go on to say what qualities you can bring to the child's up bringing etc. This make you seem a reasonable and good person who is not bitter.
Make sure you have separate notes to cover all possible accusations you reasonably think may be thrown at you.
Don't think you can ad lib as you know what you'll say when questioned in court, if you do know what you will say make plenty of time before hand to write your notes up,  and if possible have someone you trust who is neutral to read over the notes, They could make suggestions on things you have overlooked.

You may be confident about what your reasoning is but the last thing you want is to get "stage" fright and just go blank, that's why you need those notes. Even barristers use notes.

I know you may already know all the above, but sometimes it helps if someone actually reminds you anyway.

Good Luck and maybe you can let the forum know the outcome of your hearing and what was asked and it may help others about to face the same situation.
Thanks for the advice ! yes I will definitely post what happens and what I thought of it all
Reply
#6
(02-07-2017, 12:11 PM)ruxpin2512 Wrote:
(02-07-2017, 12:06 PM)NewHill123 Wrote: Hi, I have not been cross examined, or even been to court, but bear this in mind, the barrister is only another person with no rights in law to say you may only have contact with your child on certain days, they are there to try and persuade the judge to make an order in your ex's favour, so make sure you make written notes written clearly, or typed in large font, that you have in front of you in an order which makes it easy to find them, why it is beneficial for your child to have the contact you have requested with you, remember it's ALWAYS the child's benefit not yours, so NEVER say "your" benefit, also never belittle or call your ex, say she things like she is a good mum and does all she can to bring up the child well, etc, then go on to say what qualities you can bring to the child's up bringing etc. This make you seem a reasonable and good person who is not bitter.
Make sure you have separate notes to cover all possible accusations you reasonably think may be thrown at you.
Don't think you can ad lib as you know what you'll say when questioned in court, if you do know what you will say make plenty of time before hand to write your notes up,  and if possible have someone you trust who is neutral to read over the notes, They could make suggestions on things you have overlooked.

You may be confident about what your reasoning is but the last thing you want is to get "stage" fright and just go blank, that's why you need those notes. Even barristers use notes.

I know you may already know all the above, but sometimes it helps if someone actually reminds you anyway.

Good Luck and maybe you can let the forum know the outcome of your hearing and what was asked and it may help others about to face the same situation.
Thanks for the advice ! yes I will definitely post what happens and what I thought of it all

anyone else had experience of cross examination etc?
Reply


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