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Awkward Ex
#21
(04-10-2017, 09:46 AM)MrBiz Wrote: You shoudl be going for Residance, based on the fact she is not carring out her Parental Responablitys, by putting the child in the full time care of her mother.

Grandparents in law have no rights over parents in your situation.

But then that means she would be with my full time no, if so what about my job etc as I have no family in the UK or child care available (that I know of)?

She stopped my mum seeing her when she was 5 months old
[/quote]

It is not her decision on how the child sees when in your care. Right now, under UK Law, you are both on the same Legal Standing if you have PR.
Once a Child Arrangements Order is made, then you make the decisions about what happens in the time the court puts the child in your care.

What is your current work situation? Just an idea on number of hours, or your avaliablity to have the child. No detail what might identify you or anyone in your case, to protect you if it goes to court.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#22
[/quote]
It is not her decision on how the child sees when in your care. Right now, under UK Law, you are both on the same Legal Standing if you have PR.
Once a Child Arrangements Order is made, then you make the decisions about what happens in the time the court puts the child in your care.

What is your current work situation? Just an idea on number of hours, or your avaliablity to have the child. No detail what might identify you or anyone in your case, to protect you if it goes to court.
[/quote]

I live on my own now and I work full time Monday to Friday and I am always home by 16:30 no weekend work.
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#23
So I revisited the schedule and put what I thought was reasonable

W1 Sun 10:00 - 18:00
W2 Sat 14:00 - 18:00

and so on and then got text back saying it won't be every weekend bit that's why I put 14:00 on Saturday but then she said she is not doing every weekend as she is entitled to her time too and asked where I wanted to go, I said I didn't know and would decide on the day and she accused me of having a shitty attitude, basically I said I will then come pick her up from her mums and she said that how is she meant to trust me not to take her back to my place?!?!

I haven't replied yet but it's irrelevant as to where I take her during my time.
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#24
(04-11-2017, 12:15 PM)MrBiz Wrote: So I revisited the schedule and put what I thought was reasonable

W1 Sun 10:00 - 18:00
W2 Sat 14:00 - 18:00

and so on and then got  text back saying it won't be every weekend bit that's why I put 14:00 on Saturday but then she said she is not doing every weekend as she is entitled to her time too and asked where I wanted to go, I said I didn't know and would decide on the day and she accused me of having a shitty attitude, basically I said I will then come pick her up from her mums and she said that how is she meant to trust me not to take her back to my place?!?!

I haven't replied yet but it's irrelevant as to where I take her during my time.

Point out to her you have PR, and the location the contact takes place in is up to you.

All she can do, is if anyone is coming into contact with the child, is check them out via Sarah's Law.

If she can evidance the child is at risk going to your house, thats for her to apply to court for.

The Child has the right to see both parents, and you have the same responablitys as your ex in law.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#25
(04-11-2017, 12:26 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-11-2017, 12:15 PM)MrBiz Wrote: So I revisited the schedule and put what I thought was reasonable

W1 Sun 10:00 - 18:00
W2 Sat 14:00 - 18:00

and so on and then got  text back saying it won't be every weekend bit that's why I put 14:00 on Saturday but then she said she is not doing every weekend as she is entitled to her time too and asked where I wanted to go, I said I didn't know and would decide on the day and she accused me of having a shitty attitude, basically I said I will then come pick her up from her mums and she said that how is she meant to trust me not to take her back to my place?!?!

I haven't replied yet but it's irrelevant as to where I take her during my time.

Point out to her you have PR, and the location the contact takes place in is up to you.

All she can do, is if anyone is coming into contact with the child, is check them out via Sarah's Law.

If she can evidance the child is at risk going to your house, thats for her to apply to court for.

The Child has the right to see both parents, and you have the same responablitys as your ex in law.

The issue I have at the moment is that the property I am in is under her name so if I don't really want to push as she could cancel at anytime, I will be moving in a month so once I am out I will look to maybe start legal proceedings if we haven't managed to resolve anything.

No one will be coming in to contact except me and there is no risk at the mine as she had been there since birth so knows it.
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#26
(04-11-2017, 01:00 PM)MrBiz Wrote:
(04-11-2017, 12:26 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-11-2017, 12:15 PM)MrBiz Wrote: So I revisited the schedule and put what I thought was reasonable

W1 Sun 10:00 - 18:00
W2 Sat 14:00 - 18:00

and so on and then got  text back saying it won't be every weekend bit that's why I put 14:00 on Saturday but then she said she is not doing every weekend as she is entitled to her time too and asked where I wanted to go, I said I didn't know and would decide on the day and she accused me of having a shitty attitude, basically I said I will then come pick her up from her mums and she said that how is she meant to trust me not to take her back to my place?!?!

I haven't replied yet but it's irrelevant as to where I take her during my time.

Point out to her you have PR, and the location the contact takes place in is up to you.

All she can do, is if anyone is coming into contact with the child, is check them out via Sarah's Law.

If she can evidance the child is at risk going to your house, thats for her to apply to court for.

The Child has the right to see both parents, and you have the same responablitys as your ex in law.

The issue I have at the moment is that the property I am in is under her name so if I don't really want to push as she could cancel at anytime, I will be moving in a month so once I am out I will look to maybe start legal proceedings if we haven't managed to resolve anything.

No one will be coming in to contact except me and there is no risk at the mine as she had been there since birth so knows it.

If this is Social Housing your in, she could be breaking the law under Social Housing Fraud Act of 2013. Depending on how long you have lived in the house, you might have a case to remain.

In terms of you going forward, if you move out without any formal eviction process, you are making yourself homeless, meaning the local authroiry have no duty to help you.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#27
Mr Biz...

"No one will be coming in to contact except me" ... make sure you don't promise that to the ex .... you simply don't have to ... part of being a good dad is encouraging your daughter to develop social skills ... meeting other kids and be default their parents... no doubt you'll meet another single dad at the park one day then the next time you'll plan to do something together maybe... and so on

Make sure the ex doesn't think she can restrict who you see and what you do... Mark R is right - what you do and who you see is your freedom so make sure you retain it... its not a bargaining chip for the ex
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#28
(04-11-2017, 01:05 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-11-2017, 01:00 PM)MrBiz Wrote:
(04-11-2017, 12:26 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-11-2017, 12:15 PM)MrBiz Wrote: So I revisited the schedule and put what I thought was reasonable

W1 Sun 10:00 - 18:00
W2 Sat 14:00 - 18:00

and so on and then got  text back saying it won't be every weekend bit that's why I put 14:00 on Saturday but then she said she is not doing every weekend as she is entitled to her time too and asked where I wanted to go, I said I didn't know and would decide on the day and she accused me of having a shitty attitude, basically I said I will then come pick her up from her mums and she said that how is she meant to trust me not to take her back to my place?!?!

I haven't replied yet but it's irrelevant as to where I take her during my time.

Point out to her you have PR, and the location the contact takes place in is up to you.

All she can do, is if anyone is coming into contact with the child, is check them out via Sarah's Law.

If she can evidance the child is at risk going to your house, thats for her to apply to court for.

The Child has the right to see both parents, and you have the same responablitys as your ex in law.

The issue I have at the moment is that the property I am in is under her name so if I don't really want to push as she could cancel at anytime, I will be moving in a month so once I am out I will look to maybe start legal proceedings if we haven't managed to resolve anything.

No one will be coming in to contact except me and there is no risk at the mine as she had been there since birth so knows it.

If this is Social Housing your in, she could be breaking the law under Social Housing Fraud Act of 2013. Depending on how long you have lived in the house, you might have a case to remain.

In terms of you going forward, if you move out without any formal eviction process, you are making yourself homeless, meaning the local authroiry have no duty to help you.

No this is private rent, she put it in her name at the time as she had a job when we moved back to the area.

I have something in place with a landlord, i will be moving to a property exactly the same as what I have now, the same street and everything and it will be in my name, easier to move as it will be cheaper for me.

(04-11-2017, 01:08 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Mr Biz...

"No one will be coming in to contact except me" ... make sure you don't promise that to the ex .... you simply don't have to ... part of being a good dad is encouraging your daughter to develop social skills  ... meeting other kids and be default their parents...  no doubt you'll meet another single dad at the park one day then the next time you'll plan to do something together maybe... and so on

Make sure the ex doesn't think she can restrict who you see and what you do... Mark R is right - what you do and who you see is your freedom so make sure you retain it... its not a bargaining chip for the ex

She hasn't brought up anyone else making contact and I wouldn't promise that as yeah I want her to meet other people, if we can't resolve our personal issues then I will more than meet someone else etc so no never would i promise that.

I am trying to keep things smooth from my side till I move then I will start making things formal as it were.
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