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Phone Calls
#1
Hi just joined on here. I have had approx. 15 hearings last was about 3yrs ago. Ever since 10yr old daughter was born her mother (fortunately never married her!) went on the full attack with accusations and false allegations. I had to fight my corner for 7yrs battling to get increased contact from supervised 2hrs contact to alternate weekends now. Every possible excuse and lie to block contact happened and eventually the court judges saw all through it. I won every case and eventually got my maximum contact I have now having to prove myself.

Daughter is now fast approaching 10yrs old and thankfully in the circumstances we get on really well although her mum treats her like and baby and deliberately very controlling.

1 of my issues I wanted to express was phone calls. My last court hearing was over 3yrs ago and it was in that court order it was agreed calls at 7.30pm on Sundays and 7.30pm on Wednesdays so just 2 days a week. I think it should be more I have friends who have separated and speak to their kids every evening. Seems stupid to return to mediation for such a petty subject. Her mother rarely ever picks up deliberately and gives every possible excuse. She doesn't have the decency to put a reminder on her phone I am due to call on Wednesdays and Sundays. Do you think only option is to buy daughter her own mobile? Her mum obviously wont pay anything and my worry is her mum will still control her phone when to text or speak to me. Any suggestions?
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#2
Hi Chris...

You could try getting your daughter a cheap pay-as-you-go handset (making sure it has a front facing camera), install something like WhatsApp or Skype etc onto it before giving it to her. That way you can make phone calls and video calls to her regularly and for free as long as its connected to wifi. If you explain to the ex that its in the child's best interest etc to try and get her on board. Just make it clear the phone is to be kept at home and is strictly for calls between you and your daughter.

Worst case, the ex doesn't help, the calls fail and so you lose the cost of the phone and some phone credit which I think would be under £60 for a cheap brand name handset.

Best case, you not only get to talk to the child but also get to see her regularly.

I am sorting this out for my own child this weekend.
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#3
(02-17-2017, 09:29 PM)Chris2017 Wrote: Hi just joined on here. I have had approx. 15 hearings last was about 3yrs ago. Ever since 10yr old daughter was born her mother (fortunately never married her!) went on the full attack with accusations and false allegations. I had to fight my corner for 7yrs battling to get increased contact from supervised 2hrs contact to alternate weekends now. Every possible excuse and lie to block contact happened and eventually the court judges saw all through it. I won every case and eventually got my maximum contact I have now having to prove myself.

Daughter is now fast approaching 10yrs old and thankfully in the circumstances we get on really well although her mum treats her like and baby and deliberately very controlling.

1 of my issues I wanted to express was phone calls. My last court hearing was over 3yrs ago and it was in that court order it was agreed calls at 7.30pm on Sundays and 7.30pm on Wednesdays so just 2 days a week. I think it should be more I have friends who have separated and speak to their kids every evening. Seems stupid to return to mediation for such a petty subject. Her mother rarely ever picks up deliberately and gives every possible excuse. She doesn't have the decency to put a reminder on her phone I am due to call on Wednesdays and Sundays. Do you think only option is to buy daughter her own mobile? Her mum obviously wont pay anything and my worry is her mum will still control her phone when to text or speak to me. Any suggestions?

In my own case, I brought my son a phone, but then my ex kept taking it off him for "punishment", or lent by my ex to her family members (with their own sin card in it), when it was clear to me it was just to prevent my calls.

In the end, on my application to vary the Child Arrangements, it was ordered that I get a new phone, what is mine, and it has to be available to him at the set call times.

If you live in England (as not all UK is the same law), once the child is 10, her "wishes and desires" come into things. To vary an order you need to show Significant reason, so my advise is wait till she is 10, then ask her about the following, and/or the phone situation. Then your reason for return to court is she is old enough for her wishes and desires to now be considered.

Normally it will be 1 - 3 visits, by Cafcass or a Social Worker, who will then put a report to court.

While you have typical contact in place, if distance is not an issue, you might want to ask for mid week contact, making it more like shared care. For example

Week 1, 0 or 1 mid week visit (play and dinner then home) or stay over, plus Friday till Sunday
Week 2, 1 or 2 mid week visits or stay overs.

Also, you should be getting up to half school holidays, but this is 6.5 weeks a year. A 4 week plan would be 1 week Easter and Christmas, with 2 weeks in the Summer.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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