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Struggling to move on
#11
(02-24-2017, 01:36 AM)Tom1983 Wrote: She loves the kids the kids want to see their daddy. She's a narcissist she's not mean she's just self obsessed. Also she needs me time to go gym or whatever so I can't ever foresee her trying to stop me seeing the children as it would only make her life harder.

Exactly the situation I am in mate, and after 4-5 months, it was probably for the best and I am happy to be moving on now.

It's a tough old pill to swallow.

But start listing all of the reasons why you are better off out of it.  I actually made a proper list, and kept adding to it over time with new things.

Before long it had 30 items on it, and I wasn't too upset to be going my own way!!

It takes time, but chip away a little each day.
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#12
Hey Tom,

We're all here for you.
I can assure you one thing I have learnt over the last few months - it will get better and time does help (I know it's twee but it's sadly true)
I'm going to start my list this weekend ... think it will be a benefit.

All the best
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#13
We are not married we have a joint mortgage and are tenants in common. She has now rented a house in the local area. She was staying at her mothers I went away for work I came home to find she had moved out. Maybe I did make her life intolerable as I've been unable to move on. We had lunch today and I asked her to cut the shit. She's pretending that she is a victim hence the house rental rather than just accepting my offer to move out. Anyway we have agreed that She will have the children Sunday to Wednesday I'll have them Thursday to Saturday. Starting next week. Should I get something in writing through a solicitor? I always knew she would want shared access 50 50 as she likes me time and going out. But do I need to protect myself and is that even possible?

Thank you for the advice it is reassuring that I'm not the only one to have to go through this.
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#14
Hi,

The best outcome would be if you were able to agree on the contact times with her and then to take this agreement to court for endorsement in the form of a consent order.

Your ex partner would need to agree to this tho.

Things quickly change and next day you know it access will be made difficult. Then it saves you a lot of hazzle if you were able to show a court order which outlines your contact.

If she is co-operative now then you may use the momentum.

F.
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#15
Thank you, I'm focusing on my children putting their needs above my grief and self loathing. I'll make this weeks planned contacts as smooth and stress free for everyone then discuss the legal contract when the times right. I'm convinced it's her preference and probably one of the main reasons for the split...3 days of peace her dream is my nightmare. I've agreed to sell the house so I'm filling my spare time painting and decorating. I'm already feeling a little better about things and to think I deleted my first post twice for some reason I feel ashamed although I'm not the one who should feel shame. Thank you to everyone
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#16
This is good to read!

Take good care yourself and things will hopefully work out somehow.

All the best!

F.
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