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Upset children
#1
Hey.. having a bad night and they seem to be hitting a pattern.
Have my son staying as usual this weekend (which I'm lucky to have) but reaching the stage where when he's goin to bed he's saying he misses his mum and doesn't want to stay.
I only really get him because the ex works on Sundays and some Saturday's.
What do I say to him when he says stuff like that?
Feels like he never says anything like that when he's at his mums ...and even if he did not sure she'd ever tell me.
Just heartbreaking as I don't want him having to do anything he doesn't want to but obviously if he doesn't stay ..he'll basically never get to see me or it would be just short stints in the evening.
Just at a loss. Miserable.
He doesn't really say anything like that in the day
..or if he does its only when I'm telling him off for doing something he shouldn't or bein rude.
Feel like I want to ask the mum but sure I won't be told anything useful.
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#2
Hi mate...

Listen, don't be so hard on yourself, I bet every dad with a kid of your age has heard the same thing. It happened to me last weekend and I felt awful... mainly because when he was staying with me every weekend, he would never mention his mum. But now my contact has been reduced, I have noticed that he has started saying things abut his mum and missing her. It is natural for a young child to do that.

My advice is to just smile, give them a hug, reassure them, try and make them laugh or just cuddle them if its bedtime. Please remember that it is not the kids fault - but at the same time, don't just stop having him over because he misses her. Just deal with it the best you can and forget it. Remember also that I am sure the child is asking his mum about you all the time... of course she isn't go to tell you that because she wont want to give you that bit of a boost, but I am sure it is happening.

Chin up fella.
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#3
Hi,

Agree.

Allow him to express such feelings and reassure him that he will see his mum again once his time with you is up.

Try to distract him from that thought and change or adjust your routine before bedtime a bit.

Maybe do another activity just before bedtime, a short nightwalk or tell a him a story you make up and you can involve him in or maybe play some music at bedtime.

I have not been in such situation yet but can see that coming also...

F.
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#4
Thanks guys. .. like the idea of a night walk... race against time b4 it's still light at 7-8ish
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