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One of a kind
#1
Hello,

I guess i should start this off with general information. I am 25 and my wife is 24. We have a 3 year old autistic son and we have been married for 7 years together for 9. We have a history of my wife going out on me but this time it is different. This past weekend she flew to seattle with my son to attend a wedding (never happened said he friend never contacted her so she did her own thing in seattle). So i said fine just have fun and be safe to which she did. After her arrival home i happened to see photos of her and another man hanging out in seattle...now if it was just her and some guy i probably wouldnt be in such a mess, however, my son was involved in this. I was furious and confronted her about to which she said it was someone she knew years back that lived there so they met up and apologized for everything saying it was one day. So for the sake of my son i just let it go. Next day while she was at the gym i thought it would be nice to clean up a bit and put away her luggage which also had my sons clothing in it. And what falls out, a sticker from the airliner with the guys name on it...I find out he was on the flight to and from Seattle with my wife and son. I then searched more finding out he was an occupent at the Air B&B she rented for the weekend. So now a new issue a stranger (i should note i know who he is they exchanged photos years ago which were sexual) that was sleeping near my son and spending time with my child. And she wont tell me what really happened and for me that is not acceptable due to my history of anxiety from her doing something simmlar before excluding my son. The worse part being a random man with my son which is followed by my wife packing away skimping underwear for the trip. So now i imagine my wife banging some guy while my son was near them.

Her resolution to this is, move 6 hours away from me taking my son to her parents 1. Because she hates my family 2. She has no family where we live now. 3. She has no job due to a lay off and finally 4. because "he needs to be around people that love him". I am not a perfect person no one is and i was selfish at times with my time i could have been spending with my family. But there is no excuse for this type of action. 

Im not sure if i can handle the unknown of what happened with her and i dont know what i will do if i lose my son being only confined to phone calls. My son is Autistic and has a plan for schooling here, he doesnt talk so my communication with him would be non-existent in a way. I am scared and i dont know where to turn.
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#2
Hi,

Man this is rough to read and to digest.

The logical consequence would be to divorce but are you there emotionally?

Try not to figure out what happened over there. You know the title of that book, there is no need to read it to the last page. Especially if that only hurts you.

Why do you think you will only have telephone contact with him?

Worst case would be every other weekend plus half school holidays.

If all this goes to court and let's assume she gets custody and can move away can you consider to move also?

I know you see it falling all apart now but you are very young yourself and you can start afresh anywhere, right? If she moves 6 hours away do that also.

I have been through this and following my children has been the best decision I have ever made. My ex moved again and now it's about a hour which is about manageable but again I consider moving also.

Why not have a initial meeting with a lawyer to tell you what legal options you have.

F.
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#3
(03-01-2017, 11:21 PM)Frisbos Wrote: Hi,

Man this is rough to read and to digest.

The logical consequence would be to divorce but are you there emotionally?

Try not to figure out what happened over there. You know the title of that book, there is no need to read it to the last page. Especially if that only hurts you.

Why do you think you will only have telephone contact with him?

Worst case would be every other weekend plus half school holidays.

If all this goes to court and let's assume she gets custody and can move away can you consider to move also?

I know you see it falling all apart now but you are very young yourself and you can start afresh anywhere, right? If she moves 6 hours away do that also.

I have been through this and following my children has been the best decision I have ever made. My ex moved again and now it's about a hour which is about manageable but again I consider moving also.

Why not have a initial meeting with a lawyer to tell you what legal options you have.

F.

Honestly im not really sure where i am emotionally. About a year ago we separated and i pulled away from her and i felt good about it, however, she was the one that came back to me for the first time ever wanting us to try again so i did. I think emotionally with my wife i would be okay with it in the end but with my son i dont think i am ready for that at all. 

Well telephone contact would be the main source due to the distance of travel. I make good money at a stable job that is understanding of my personal matters with my son and what not so for me to leave this job it would be a poor choice. Mainly because i have many bills that i cant lower or drop, so without making my salary i would be out of luck with no funds to live. 

She is also moving to a city that i am not fond of, it's run down, low income and "ghetto" which is why i fear for my son. She is a good mother but she fails to see what the outcome is for me which i have noticed is very common with men. If i request he stays with me its an attack on me as she strikes my integrity as if i wouldnt care for my son. This is why i am at a loss with a difficult situation. Again if it was just me and her it would already be over with, but with a special needs child its hard to come to a conclusion.
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