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Should I formalise things?
#1
My Ex and I separated in June 2016, and when everything was said and done, we've been on fairly good terms.

We lived in rented accommodation, and had no real assets or savings to speak of.

We agreed on maintenance payments fairly easy, and I get to see my daughters for 2 nights, and one full day a week.

We had a credit card debt to pay-off which was in both of our names at the time, and then was transferred to her name only.  (As was our bank account.)

We split the credit card bill, and I paid my half off over 5 months, included with my monthly maintenance payments.

WE HAVE NOTHING IN WRITING SO FAR THOUGH!

I'm moving on, and slowly saving money for my own place.

I want to avoid any complications later when we apply for a divorce.  (We're waiting until we've separated long enough to make it cheaper.)

My question is should we formalise our separation in writing?  Is it necessary?
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#2
Hey,

To fomalise separation is usually just over half the cost of a divorce and unless there a finances involved I would wait until divorce.
if one of you is a low earner you can apply to have it subsidised.

If it's to formalise access for the children, it will be a 'parenting plan' but as i understand it - not really worth the paper it's written on but at least it records what you both agreed and signed so if it does go to court you have proof that it was accepted then.

sorry for the rushed reply - at work.

http://www.howtolaw.co/enter-into-a-form...ent-392122
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#3
(03-03-2017, 11:26 AM)Notsohappybutnotsosure Wrote: Hey,

To fomalise separation is usually just over half the cost of a divorce and unless there a finances involved I would wait until divorce.
if one of you is a low earner you can apply to have it subsidised.

If it's to formalise access for the children, it will be a 'parenting plan' but as i understand it - not really worth the paper it's written on but at least it records what you both agreed and signed so if it does go to court you have proof that it was accepted then.

sorry for the rushed reply - at work.

http://www.howtolaw.co/enter-into-a-form...ent-392122

Think that legal site is from New Zealand or Australia mate...just a comment, not sure it would stand legally over here, maybe wrong but worth looking at?

(03-03-2017, 10:40 AM)StartingLifeAgain Wrote: My Ex and I separated in June 2016, and when everything was said and done, we've been on fairly good terms.

We lived in rented accommodation, and had no real assets or savings to speak of.

We agreed on maintenance payments fairly easy, and I get to see my daughters for 2 nights, and one full day a week.

We had a credit card debt to pay-off which was in both of our names at the time, and then was transferred to her name only.  (As was our bank account.)

We split the credit card bill, and I paid my half off over 5 months, included with my monthly maintenance payments.

WE HAVE NOTHING IN WRITING SO FAR THOUGH!

I'm moving on, and slowly saving money for my own place.

I want to avoid any complications later when we apply for a divorce.  (We're waiting until we've separated long enough to make it cheaper.)

My question is should we formalise our separation in writing?  Is it necessary?

Foe me, the feeling that it is in writing no matter what it is, is substantive. 
During a crappy time of divorce, there is always the he said/she said cobblers and words get misconstrued. If it were me, whether its legally binding, it surely shows that you had forethought to put things on paper, agree to them in compromise, and if it ever came to court, would be able to use in questioning the other parties intent.
Just my 10 cents
Advice & opinions on this forum are offered informally, without any assumption of liability. Use your own judgment. Seek advice of a qualified and insured professional.
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#4
Apologies,... try this one

https://www.gov.uk/legal-separation
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#5
Hi,

Why would you consider it now when you have so far agreed to wait until it is best to file the divorce? Anything happened? Or is it just the feeling that you want to sail through the process later on and try to not get into any surprises?

F.
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#6
(03-03-2017, 11:24 PM)Frisbos Wrote: Hi,

Why would you consider it now when you have so far agreed to wait until it is best to file the divorce? Anything happened? Or is it just the feeling that you want to sail through the process later on and try to not get into any surprises?

F.

Sorry for taking a while to reply.

It's mainly because I feel like it would be of benefit to have everything we originally agreed to I writing.

I'm probably just paranoid, but I have visions of her trying to claim money I have made/saved since us separating.

Also, I have been paying off "my loan" myself, even though the money I took out went to paying for wedding stuff, part payment on a car, and generally keeping us afloat at times.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't want any(more) surprises!
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#7
My advice is to agree with your ex that divorce is in the best interests and then crack on.

My next bit of advice is crucial. YOU need to file the papers, file the CONTACT order and pay for it all. Dont mention why to the ex, just take my word, it will be better in the long run. Your ex will probably love the idea that you are paying, and not question the motive.

If on the other hand, you move on and fall in love etc, and she turns bitter, you will get screwed. If she moves on and falls in love, her new partner will not allowed her to be screwed, so you will get screwed. If you agree the current terms, and then file the contact paperwork, she cannot easily change that, unless she files and pays for her own contact order variations.

Dont wait. I filed the paperwork, spent the money, but now the pain is behind me.

Good luck.
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