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Supervised Puzzle
#1
Hi,

Can any of you dads tell me if it would go against me in court that I've been adhering to my ex partner's insistence on 'supervision' when seeing my son? The only reason I am is because if I didn't my ex would block all contact immediately.

Some of you may know my current situation in that this supervision idea by my ex is rarely enforced by her when I'm actually with my son and there's no justification for it, hence upcoming court proceedings, but she still doesn't let me pick my son up by myself, or have him at mine by ourselves.

I was just wondering if one of my arguments in court could be that I HAD to go along with her bizarre supervision because I wouldn't get to see my son otherwise?

Been stewing over this the past couple of days. Any thoughts?

Thanks.
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#2
Any ideas?
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#3
How old is your kid?

I think be clear and honest.
Tell the court that she has put in place this ridiculous 'condition' to your access arrangements and there is no reason why she should do so

You should keep a record of all the times it has happened and if also examples if she has left the child with friends or family or childcare 'unsupervised'
She will be asked to justify why its OK to leave the child with a friend while she pops to the shops but not with you
Tell the court it is restrictive to forming a strong bond with your son and you can't even take him to the park like all other dads do

Get across that you were really scared she would stop contact and its an emotional response from her, not a rational one
You simply want the right to have quality time with you son, which he is entitled to
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#4
(03-20-2017, 09:00 AM)LTCDAD Wrote: How old is your kid?

I think be clear and honest.
Tell the court that she has put in place this ridiculous 'condition' to your access arrangements and there is no reason why she should do so

You should keep a record of all the times it has happened and if also examples if she has left the child with friends or family or childcare 'unsupervised'
She will be asked to justify why its OK to leave the child with a friend while she pops to the shops but not with you
Tell the court it is restrictive to forming a strong bond with your son and you can't even take him to the park like all other dads do

Get across that you were really scared she would stop contact and its an emotional response from her, not a rational one
You simply want the right to have quality time with you son, which he is entitled to

Thanks so much for the advice.

My son's 9 months and over the past three months while this has been in place I've amassed a ton of evidence showing how often I'm left unsupervised with him; diaries, photos, videos, texts from her 'allowing' me out and about every now and again 'unsupervised'.

I'm stewing over it all the time. I suppose I just wanted a bit of reassurance really. Thanks.
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#5
You are doing the right thing

You will see on here that some sort of guidance that youngest (under 2) don't go to stay over at dad's house but that an be challenged if the kid is not being breast fed or is left with other people i.e. child minder

You are doing the right thing... keep a diary (don't tell the ex you are keeping a diary)... remember what your ex puts in place and the law can be 2 completely different things - she sounds like she has some insecurities but that's something you have to work with rather than solve

Concentrate on being a good dad, ensure you support the ex emotionally and the kid financially... if it goes to court you want to show that what you want (unsupervised access) is happening regularly and it works well. She would then need to show a reason why supervised contact shoudl be the norm... and she'll struggle to do that :-)

Good luck
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#6
(03-20-2017, 04:12 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: You are doing the right thing

You will see on here that some sort of guidance that youngest (under 2) don't go to stay over at dad's house but that an be challenged if the kid is not being breast fed or is left with other people i.e. child minder

You are doing the right thing... keep a diary (don't tell the ex you are keeping a diary)... remember what your ex puts in place and the law can be 2 completely different things - she sounds like she has some insecurities but that's something you have to work with rather than solve

Concentrate on being a good dad, ensure you support the ex emotionally and the kid financially... if it goes to court you want to show that what you want (unsupervised access) is happening regularly and it works well. She would then need to show a reason why supervised contact shoudl be the norm... and she'll struggle to do that :-)

Good luck

Yeah, that's my sole aim - being a good dad and providing for my son. I understand I have to play the long game and have to suffer in the short term in order to regularly see my son unsupervised in the long term. My family are right there with me. It's just brutal at the minute.

Thanks for the support, common sense and reassurance. Means a lot.
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