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applying for a non-molestation order on mother while also seeking residence?
#1
I'm currently in the midst of seeking residence, and a section 37 report has been ordered by the court.  I'm wondering whether to also go for a non-molestation order against my ex, who keeps emailing me - alternating between friendly one day and hostile the next (almost good cop bad cop, but the same person), I just ignore these emails, but perhaps I should seek a non-mol?  These emails do disturb me, and distract me when I'm either at work or at home trying to enjoy my leisure time and not think about the court case.  My Mackenzie friend suggested I should seek this, but I'm in two minds:  I can handle getting these emails, and if I got a non-mol on her she would only amplify her efforts to upset me via the kids.

Seriously though, the pain this woman has put me through over the years is far worse than any criminal has done to me, I'd rather have had my house burgled a thousand times than be put through what she has put me through, in my mind that makes her far worse than a burglar - who would face years of prison time.
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#2
I get that as well - I havent bothered with an NMO, if I was to go down that route at the moment, I would end up with NO access to my daughter whilst the C100 is taking effect through the courts.

Edit : 

One thing I read on a message board was the idea of a "24 hour rule", whereby no matter what email you get, other than one thats CRITCALLY urgent (kid injured, etc) that needs a response, you dont respond for at least 24 hours - if at all - if after 24 hours it needs a response - you do it - I do this now and find that the emails have dropped off considerably and after 24 hours there isnt really much to respond to.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
24 rule is a good one, I usually don't respond at all. I don't know why they do it, it's as if they are just bored and want to torment us.
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#4
Hi,

Solution:

Set up a dedicated email account for stuff like that and tell your ex that she will have to use this one from now on and that you will check this account every 2-3 days.

Then block her on your original account.

This way you are in control.

For emergency stuff she needs to phone.

F.
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#5
Yeah, I got this every day. Horribly nasty and vindictive one minute, then sugar and spice and all things nice the next.

I considered a non-mol after it escalated a bit but I decided against it for fear it would rock the boat and my contact would be stopped. So I began to wait whole hours before replying to her texts; then whole afternoons, then a full day. Now she only texts regarding my son.

When her name pops up I do fear it's because she's texting to remove agreed contact or something so I panic a bit but that's something I'm just going to have to live with now.
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#6
Yep, I'm very familiar with that feeling of dread when I see a new message has come in.  I'm trying to turn that feeling into amusement, since 99% of her threats are empty.

I guess if she continues after the kids have grown up, then I'll go for the non-mol.
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#7
So far since 6pm last night (my cut off point for responding to any of her emails)

11 Emails

Everything from telling me how good two guys she had an affair with to alleging that I am struggling with my sexuality

The 24 hour rule works for me - plus I also now get more evidence than I need for court - but I have no intention to really use it unless I need to.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#8
Macbeth102

"my ex, who keeps emailing me - alternating between friendly one day and hostile the next (almost good cop bad cop, but the same person)"

^^^ same mate... Wow - my ex is emailing all of your as well :-) ;-) ;-)

Its a standard control method... you sit down, put the footy on and PING.... 3 emails ... do this, do that, you're crap...

24 hour rule is a must... filter them via making a rule then deal with them when you have time, remember email is not an urgent form of communication ... she is never going to email that the kids have fallen and broken its arm... she will phone you.

Its more about keeping you in a constant state of anxiety... there are no penalties for not responding... be polite when you do respond and keep it on topic ... 1 sentence is all you need

After my court case is over, i will ask her to considerably reduce the email traffic (i get >75 a month plus texts and voice calls and f2f)... there is a need for communication relating to the kids which she routinely forgets to inform and there is level where her list of things she wants to complain about me becomes intrusive... i'm working out my boundary
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