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Access granted: good and bad
#1
If you've read my story you will know I finally won the case to see my 3 children recently.  I was denied access unless supervised for 3 years (for no valid reason). My story was a case of once I got on with my life my ex didn't like it so i went from taking my kids on holiday on my own to being irresponsible to finally an alleged druggy and an alcoholic.  
My case cost me thousands and all allegations were proved untrue with liver function tests and hair follicle tests etc I even had texts proving I was set up in my final hearing.  All of this made me ill but my wife was the driving force that wouldn't let me give up.  When I was tired or angry and wanted to give up she would say to me.........dont let your children down, keep fighting they deserve a decent dad and you are.  
I can honestly say  my problems around my children and my contact have put her through hell but she never complained.  Her driving force was the fact she had a child whose father was never interested so she said it made them feel unworthy and she couldn't face thinking a child would have the same feelings about me when she knows my kids are my life.

My point is I saw my children on my own for the first time after a year of Court battles as, being so prepared it was an easy case to win..........no questions asked they had everything they needed and realised it was a simple case of sour grapes from my ex.  The Judge was quite angry at over what I had gone through for no good reason......... I was elated! (you can guess who put my case together)

i spent time with them and I did this by having a belated party for my twins at my parents house rather than my home.........my problem was my wife wouldn't join us.  She stated that although never knowing my ex she would be the reason contact would stop again and a new case would start.  
I do have a feeling contact will be short lived as my ex will always come up with something but the difference is this time I have a Court Order.  I was so happy to be with my children but without my Wife and not being in my home, it was kinda bitter sweet.  My ex does have a real hatred for my Wife.......why I have no clue, they have never met or even spoken but its fair to say my Wife is well known in the local community as a decent person, she runs a local business hence being well known and has helped many under privileged kids so it gives you an idea of what she's like (she also has an Irish temper when her loved ones are threatened but luckily i dont see that to often lol)
The problem I'm having is..................I dont like that she will not get involved now, I know my children would learn so much from her and she's such a big kid that I know they will miss out.  I want to do the family stuff with her but all she says is they need me and my parents and if she becomes the excuse for contact being stopped then she couldnt deal with letting down me and the Grandparents............so I'm not happy about it and I'm thinking maybe thats a little selfish on my side................is it?  Your thoughts please??? Can I change this situation or do I let it go?
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#2
Well done.. great outcome

Step by step when it comes to the new wife and the kids... she's seems a clever woman... give it time... she wants you to enjoy your kids after such a long struggle ... her time will come but it doesn't need to be today ;-)

Its also a lot to take for the kids so slowly slowly ... be happy with your success.. the rest is just detail ;-)
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#3
(03-23-2017, 11:00 AM)LTCDAD Wrote: Well done.. great outcome

Step by step when it comes to the new wife and the kids... she's seems a clever woman... give it time... she wants you to enjoy your kids after such a long struggle ... her time will come but it doesn't need to be today ;-)

Its also a lot to take for the kids so slowly slowly ... be happy with your success.. the rest is just detail ;-)

Thank you for your reply you are right and in the end my outcome was great........... after the struggle like you say (and know no doubt) but you know how it is, I guess I wanted to show her how great my Children are.......... I also want them to see how great she is as I know they will all get along.  In my FMH they are not even allowed to say by wife's name and they certainly weren't allowed to be Bridesmaids at our wedding in December (just gone), sad they miss out on so much for no reason.  The Solicitor did try to have any contact from my wife blocked in the Court Order but the Judge was having none of it, I guess my wife knowing this, cant make her feel great though she seems to shrug it off saying its not about her, let them do whatever. My children do know my wife a little as we were friends first so she has seen me with them on 3 occasions but we weren't a couple then so I guess it was different especially with the animosity my ex has for her now, like you say slowly slowly.
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#4
When the time comes for me to move on into a new relationship... my ex will be the same

My friend even said (quite absurdly) find a new girlfriend you don't really like (WTF?) because your ex is going to make her life hell so its best if its one you don't care about rather than one you do on the 1st occasion

Mad logic.... but i understand what he meant
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#5
(03-24-2017, 11:22 AM)LTCDAD Wrote: When the time comes for me to move on into a new relationship... my ex will be the same

My friend even said (quite absurdly) find a new girlfriend you don't really like (WTF?) because your ex is going to make her life hell so its best if its one you don't care about rather than one you do on the 1st occasion

Mad logic.... but i understand what he meant

lol at that!!! In fairness I did have one that I was a little non-plussed about but the ex wasn't born, 'she was hatched' so she knew!  Confused
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