Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Newbie
#1
Hi all. Where to start ?

I was arrested for suspected abh on friday 24th march due to an arguement on Tuesday 21th of march where it became a little physical.

Her story - I sat on her leg, slapped her round the face so hard it left a mark, threw a furby and I also strangled her (police noticed no marks) yet she went out later on to hospital to visit family

My story - she kicked me to the floor off sofa while sitting next to her and we were arguing (showed police the mark) i grabbed her face to face me to tell her that was not acceptable and in turn she threw a furby at me so I threw it back and then she got up in my face saying hit me repeatedly so I pushed her to the sofa away from me and told the police if I caught her neck I'm sorry but I was using what I thought was reasonable force due to being kicked to the floor.

The duty lawyer said tit for tat should be no further action after 12 hours in a cell without seeing anyone.

Now here's where the problem started, she's accusing me of 20 years of domestic violence and abuse !!! She told the police I put trackers on her phone, threw her over a wall, control money, chastise one of our children and many other untrue things. There is no evidence of any of this as it didn't happen.

She told the police she left me on Tuesday and I said that it was the first I heard of it as she got into bed Tuesday and Wednesday night and cuddled me, we went out Thursday morning, I had a migraine and sat in the passenger seat as she offered to take me, she then had a go at me saying I take it I'm driving and I then offered to drive and she said that would be something I would hold against her and walked off and that's the last I saw of her ?

I am now on bail with conditions to not talk to her or kids till 18th of this month when I have to return under my bail conditions.

I didn't even know she left me and now I'm all alone in our house and she's stopped all money going into my accounts and I'm now buggered as wages are 500 a month due to reduced hours after my brain surgery and that's not enough to run, also she left the house as she took the kids to her mum's

We had an amazing relationship with a few petty arguments over who's cooking dinner or silly stuff like that, we went on dates Every week, family holidays and so much more. I can't get it round my head why she's said these things all of a sudden except her father has had cancer for a while and things don't look good and she's not been taking her anti depressants for 3 months.

I just miss my family so much and was hoping you guys can make me smile and put some light on possible outcomes

Thank you for reading
Reply
#2
(04-03-2017, 02:46 PM)lukeskywalker Wrote: Hi all. Where to start ?

I was arrested for suspected abh on friday 24th march due to an arguement on Tuesday 21th of march where it became a little physical.

Her story - I sat on her leg, slapped her round the face so hard it left a mark, threw a furby and I also strangled her (police noticed no marks) yet she went out later on to hospital to visit family

My story - she kicked me to the floor off sofa while sitting next to her and we were arguing (showed police the mark) i grabbed her face to face me to tell her that was not acceptable and in turn she threw a furby at me so I threw it back and then she got up in my face saying hit me repeatedly so I pushed her to the sofa away from me and told the police if I caught her neck I'm sorry but I was using what I thought was reasonable force due to being kicked to the floor.

The duty lawyer said tit for tat should be no further action after 12 hours in a cell without seeing anyone.

Now here's where the problem started, she's accusing me of 20 years of domestic violence and abuse !!! She told the police I put trackers on her phone, threw her over a wall, control money, chastise one of our children and many other untrue things. There is no evidence of any of this as it didn't happen.

She told the police she left me on Tuesday and I said that it was the first I heard of it as she got into bed Tuesday and Wednesday night and cuddled me, we went out Thursday morning, I had a migraine and sat in the passenger seat as she offered to take me, she then had a go at me saying I take it I'm driving and I then offered to drive and she said that would be something I would hold against her and walked off and that's the last I saw of her ?

I am now on bail with conditions to not talk to her or kids till 18th of this month when I have to return under my bail conditions.

I didn't even know she left me and now I'm all alone in our house and she's stopped all money going into my accounts and I'm now buggered as wages are 500 a month due to reduced hours after my brain surgery and that's not enough to run, also she left the house as she took the kids to her mum's

We had an amazing relationship with a few petty arguments over who's cooking dinner or silly stuff like that, we went on dates Every week, family holidays and so much more. I can't get it round my head why she's said these things all of a sudden except her father has had cancer for a while and things don't look good and she's not been taking her anti depressants for 3 months.

I just miss my family so much and was hoping you guys can make me smile and put some light on possible outcomes

Thank you for reading

First of all, do you have a Solicitor looking after you? If not, get one, as this is a Criminal Matter your accused of you get one free. The Police Custody Officer should be able to give you a llist of local firms who do this.

Speck to your Solicitor, stating that you belive this is just make up by your ex, so she can leave you without any contact with your children.
Get advise on this also, but in my view, go in when your bail is due, and do not accept any extention of bail on them terms. That means they either let you out, or have to put you before a court, where you can make it known that if the case was strong enough you should be charged, and if they can not do that, then your Children have rights under the Children Act of 2002, to see both parents.

Do you own the house, or is it rented, and if so, Council, Social Housing or Private Rent?

http://www.entitledto.co.uk might help you. Check if you can get any help from the benefits system. Your local CAB might be able to also do a benefits check for you.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#3
Thank you for your reply Mark

I only spoke to the duty at the time as I can't afford my own as I'm off work at the moment and she's stopped any benefits that went into my account.

We brought the house in August 2000 together, she is currently staying at her mum's house

Thank you
Reply
#4
(04-04-2017, 10:50 AM)lukeskywalker Wrote: Thank you for your reply Mark

I only spoke to the duty at the time as I can't afford my own as I'm off work at the moment and she's stopped any benefits that went into my account.

We brought the house in August 2000 together, she is currently staying at her mum's house

Thank you

That Solicitor should be able to help you with regards to Bail, under Legal Aid.

While she stopped benefits, you can now claim as a single person. http://www.entitledto.co.uk will check what you can claim.

Inform the Council she has moved out, to get a 25% reduction on Council Tax and then apply for a Council Tax Reduction.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#5
I checked the website and I am not entitled to anything so going to have to ride that side of things out and deal with that later.

My main concern is going to jail for something I haven't done and I'm just worried she's going to turn the kids on me to get me charged and then take the house ?

Literally still in shock as none of this feels real to me. I still love her and understand her fathers dying and she's not been taking her medication but can't understand any of it.
Reply
#6
Luke - if this is a first offence its highly unlikely you would get jail for it if you have previously been of good character. There is a likelihood of "No Further Action" if it was "Tit for Tat" - this happen in the case with my Ex - we had a right ding dong after I had found pics on her phone that really shouldnt have been there and we had been arguing all day about things.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
Reply
#7
No I've never been in trouble with the police and I would say I'm of good character saving my daughter's life and was in the national papers years ago but would the police know that ?

Sorry but I'm worried about jail as this is all new to me and I'm just proper scared she will make up more stuff, if it was no further action why have the bailed me for 3 weeks ?

She's been talking to my sister and she told me all she's saying is she can't comment at the moment and her profile pictures keep changing to things like "ive never been so lonely" and dont know how much longer I can take this, I feel like a failure"
Reply
#8
Luke

Cite all this - make it extremely hard for the CPS to proceed on your case (I feel its unlikely that they will to be honest).

Ignore facebook and stuff like that - its more hassle than its worth - when my ex and I split I left facebook altogether after a month as I was sick and fed up of the constant crap on there and my friends siding with her - stuff them - I will get new friends Smile

Invis
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
Reply
#9
I have spoken to a few people over that last few days as I was feeling really low and I'm now feeling positive in a way due to friends.

She breached my bail conditions asking my sister to tell me to go and see her !

One friend told me there is no evidence apart from a heel imprint where she kicked me and when this is all dropped because its all crap and there is no proof just her word against mine except she admitting kicking me and throwing a furby at me lol. so I should press charges for abh against her, she kidnapped the kids as she just took them without my consent 3 days after the arguement

I have 2 witnesses that have said they will stand up in court and tell them they have seen her slap me round the face earlier this year and last year, so 2 counts from a 2 people including a lodger, but I put it down to pmt lol

She ònce grabbed our eldest round the throat and then denied it yet we where both telling her she done it and she now denies it

She's not been taking her medication and is a different person now

I know these aŕe just little things but it's something for me to hold onto as I want full custody of my 3 babies as she's an unfit mother on so many counts of neglect and actually hurting the kids nd emtionally bullying them making them cry and whwn ever i asked her not to treat the kids like that i get told oh go on then mr perfect you deal with them, of course i then did anď resolved the situation. Also shes done things many times like our disabled daughter not giving her medication and a few other things

Sorry just got till Tuesday till bail is oveŕ and it's all I have to hold on to
Reply
#10
(04-14-2017, 03:58 PM)lukeskywalker Wrote: I have spoken to a few people over that last few days as I was feeling really low and I'm now feeling positive in a way due to friends.

She breached my bail conditions asking my sister to tell me to go and see her !

One friend told me there is no evidence apart from a heel imprint where she kicked me and when this is all dropped because its all crap and there is no proof just her word against mine except she admitting kicking me and throwing a furby at me lol. so I should press charges for abh against her, she kidnapped the kids as she just took them without my consent 3 days after the arguement

I have 2 witnesses that have said they will stand up in court and tell them they have seen her slap me round the face earlier this year and last year, so 2 counts from a 2 people including a lodger, but I put it down to pmt lol

She ònce grabbed our eldest round the throat and then denied it yet we where both telling her she done it and she now denies it

She's not been taking her medication and is a different person now

I know these aŕe just little things but it's something for me to hold onto as I want full custody of my 3 babies as she's an unfit mother on so many counts of neglect and actually hurting the kids nd emtionally bullying them making them cry and whwn ever i asked her not to treat the kids like that i get told oh go on then mr perfect you deal with them, of course i then did anď resolved the situation. Also shes done things many times like our disabled daughter not giving her medication and a few other things

Sorry just got till Tuesday till bail is oveŕ and it's all I have to hold on to

Do not go. The chances are she will call the Police soon as you turn up.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)