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My crazy ex
#1
So my relationship broke down in November there was physical violence from her part ie slapping kicking hitting me with remote controls arguments you name it couldnt go out with friends and then go home "she wouldnt let me back in the house "
she found out she was pregnant rou d about 1 week later She has called the police and had me arrested 2x for nothing she said i had been up her house kicking the door in. I was out with friends the first time and the second time at work both times the police looked at cctv from the bars clubs and casino the second time the cctv from my work she has called my now old work and has messaged my current gf with threats and warnings of how much a bad guy i was to her

we go from talking to not talking or rather she sends me a message or string of messages saying we should talk for the sake of the baby each time i say ok lets talk when in actual fact all she trys to do is get me back so we then fall out again this has been going on for the past 4 months and again this week she asked me if i could buy or put money towards baby stuff ie carpet for the babys room cot buggy that sort of thing so i the agreed to go to her house on sunday night all was well we spoke about what i could buy and i left feeling happy monday i was busy
I went to B&Q on tuesday and got the paint and phoned her and said ide drop it off tuesday night and all was good for about 20mins. She got pissed off with me as im still with my current gf who has 2 kids 1 of which is very ill She said that once she has had the baby she was going to kick her head in and that her mate is just looking for a reason to kick my head in so i left
The next day Wednesday I received a message say i wouldnt be able to see the baby or take the baby away from her for the first 2 yrs as she would be breastfeeding and her lawyer has said its against her human rights to express milk just so i can have him i sent a message saying look im fed up with this back and fourth your talking to me 1 minute ure not the next so i said the easiest thing for us to do is go to court and let them decide I haven't been able to get a hold of my lawyer to speak to him so im asking you guys Any ideas
My mates have said i should contact the police and tell them about her threats of violence towards myself and gf am i barking up the wrong tree with this or should i do it

The sad fact to all this is she wants me back and can't handle the fact that ive moved on
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#2
I’m not the best qualified to answer this, and your solicitor is defo the best placed person to give advice, however from own experiences and from that of friends and colleagues around me who have had issues similar I would recommend informing the police of the threats because to not is actually leaving the door open to assault of some kind and it will be held against you that you did nothing with the advance knowledge it might happen.
 
What I am not sure about is what steps can be taken to secure access before a child is born, however I have been reliably informed that a court will consider access to a father more important than disrupting breastfeeding and do not take lightly to mothers they consider to be using this as a way to exclude the father. Keep calm, do not enter into any further arguments with her and in fact it would be sensible to send an email or letter requesting she reconsiders your access after the birth to ensure the child grows up in a loving environment with both parents supporting this, and that for her health as much as the babies you will no longer communicate when the discussions become aggressive in nature or not focused on the child, and if this cant be done will you reluctantly take steps for the court to decide but your preference is for you both to make these decisions in an amicable way.
 
Side note but when the baby is born ensure you’re on the birth certificate even if the courts have to ensure this also
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#3
Thats pretty much what ive been thinking / doing as far as im concerned i just want to be a dad to my boy (when he arrives). And do all i can believe it or not to help her despite her actions towards me. My boy is the most important thing I have spoken to my lawyer today and hes told me what im doing is correct ie show that im more than happy to help and contribute to the babys upbringing I suppose im just asking for advice from people that have been there. Done that to see where the law actually stands and what possible outcomes people have experienced. Thanks for your reply Goetia
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