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Visiting issues for parents working abroard
#1
Hi everyone,

First of all I would like to give my congratulations to the people who created this forum. There is so much useful information here. unfortunately I couldn’t find something similar to my case so I m creating this post. Any help is welcome.

I live and work in Greece for about 7 months a year, running a 30 year old sailing boat charter company. I used to sail the islands worry free and happy. On one of my cruises I met my ex-partner; a Russian living in the UK. We fell crazy in love and despite the distance (she was studying here – I was working there) we managed to maintain our relationship (was not easy and we did argue a lot) and ended up having a beautiful boy who is now 19 months old and was born here in the UK.

Unfortunately things didn’t go well for us after the pregnancy. Her behavior became really abusive and her mind unreasonable. It was and still is impossible even to have a conversation with her as she will constantly interrupt with non-sense and of course everything has to be done her way.

We spent last summer in Greece as a family but since I had to work hard and didn’ t spend enough time with her, she left me(just when I finished work actually) taking our son and came back to her mom and decided to start a career. I came back to the UK so I could see my baby. Things where not going well. Special circumstances with the business made me return to Greece in January earlier than usual. At the same time my ex-partner found a job in a different city leaving our son to be raised by her mother and grandmother (who has cancer and doing chemotherapy). She would be coming back to see him 3 days a week. After that it all went downhill…constant arguing leading to us breaking up.

The problem is that my ex-partner is slowly trying to cut me off my son's life. She first cut off our once per week skype calls (I think she said something like ‘I will not turn the camera for you so that you can see your son’). I then decided to come visit so I can see him and now that I ‘m here she has started threating me that she will not allow me to see him if he doesn’t sleep as easy at nights or if I spoil his daily routine and other non-sense like that. She has also said that I ‘m not his dad but a stranger visiting for a week and going, that she has started dating and other beautiful things like that. It is obvious that she will make my life difficult so I do not trust her anymore and I feel that she ‘ll try to replace me with her partner (although I seriously doubt anyone will stand her if she behaves like she does now). 

So after all this long introduction (sorry for the long part) to my questions: 

What should I do to protect my rights as a father and establish visiting times or days? How much time would I be entitled to? Would that be unsupervised? Is his young age a problem?

Does the fact that I work abroad affect things? I can only be in the UK from November to March. During those months, I can reside with my brother who is living in London (different city but not too far from either my ex’s work or mothers’ place), father of a 2 year-old, in a baby friendly house.

Also as per his upbringing, she is using a Russian lady to take our boy out for walks. I have only seen her picture. Don’t even know if she is certified or not. Can I ask that he goes to a English speaking nursery so that he gets to hear a language that I can communicate with him and also I can see how he is doing and progressing?

Thank you beforehand.
Reply
#2
(04-25-2017, 07:48 AM)Polikarpos Wrote: Hi everyone,

First of all I would like to give my congratulations to the people who created this forum. There is so much useful information here. unfortunately I couldn’t find something similar to my case so I m creating this post. Any help is welcome.

I live and work in Greece for about 7 months a year, running a 30 year old sailing boat charter company. I used to sail the islands worry free and happy. On one of my cruises I met my ex-partner; a Russian living in the UK. We fell crazy in love and despite the distance (she was studying here – I was working there) we managed to maintain our relationship (was not easy and we did argue a lot) and ended up having a beautiful boy who is now 19 months old and was born here in the UK.

Unfortunately things didn’t go well for us after the pregnancy. Her behavior became really abusive and her mind unreasonable. It was and still is impossible even to have a conversation with her as she will constantly interrupt with non-sense and of course everything has to be done her way.

We spent last summer in Greece as a family but since I had to work hard and didn’ t spend enough time with her, she left me(just when I finished work actually) taking our son and came back to her mom and decided to start a career. I came back to the UK so I could see my baby. Things where not going well. Special circumstances with the business made me return to Greece in January earlier than usual. At the same time my ex-partner found a job in a different city leaving our son to be raised by her mother and grandmother (who has cancer and doing chemotherapy). She would be coming back to see him 3 days a week. After that it all went downhill…constant arguing leading to us breaking up.

The problem is that my ex-partner is slowly trying to cut me off my son's life. She first cut off our once per week skype calls (I think she said something like ‘I will not turn the camera for you so that you can see your son’). I then decided to come visit so I can see him and now that I ‘m here she has started threating me that she will not allow me to see him if he doesn’t sleep as easy at nights or if I spoil his daily routine and other non-sense like that. She has also said that I ‘m not his dad but a stranger visiting for a week and going, that she has started dating and other beautiful things like that. It is obvious that she will make my life difficult so I do not trust her anymore and I feel that she ‘ll try to replace me with her partner (although I seriously doubt anyone will stand her if she behaves like she does now). 

So after all this long introduction (sorry for the long part) to my questions: 

What should I do to protect my rights as a father and establish visiting times or days? How much time would I be entitled to? Would that be unsupervised? Is his young age a problem?

Does the fact that I work abroad affect things? I can only be in the UK from November to March. During those months, I can reside with my brother who is living in London (different city but not too far from either my ex’s work or mothers’ place), father of a 2 year-old, in a baby friendly house.

Also as per his upbringing, she is using a Russian lady to take our boy out for walks. I have only seen her picture. Don’t even know if she is certified or not. Can I ask that he goes to a English speaking nursery so that he gets to hear a language that I can communicate with him and also I can see how he is doing and progressing?

Thank you beforehand.

The first thing here is do you have PR for the Child. You would get this by being married to your ex on the day of birth, by being present at time of registering the birth and signing or in another formal way (you would know).

There is no need for Mediation in this case, due to the Internatal Aspects of the case. CMS also have no Jursistrtiction as your not settled in the UK, so if you can not agree Child Support, then she can bring a case in our Family Court.

If she is now claiming you are not the father, but she allowed you to sign the birth certificate, she is commiting the crime of Purgery in the UK, and you should report this to the office the birth was registered at.

If you have PR, you are on the same legal standing in the UK as your ex. Once a Court Order is made, she is the Resident Parnet, but you make all the decisions in the time a court has put the child in your care for, so you ex doe not have any right to be present.

Anyone with PR can give consent for Medical Treatment, even when a court order exists.

You have the right to apply to Court on Form C100, for PR (if you do not have it) and/or  a Child Arrangments Order.
Contact (visitation) is during the Non Resident Parnets avaliable times.
Where a child is under 2, its normal to have 4-6 hours per week, what might be over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, in your situation you would get Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and half the school holidays. The child needs their own bed, but Children under 10 can share a room with anyone except a child 10-16 of the other sex.

I would not waste time going for shared care, as your not about all year round, but perhaps mid week indirect contact by telephone/skype can be part of the order.

Ask for the contact order to run in the times you in the UK, and outside that, for Indirect contact to form part of the order.

In your case, your day to day costs for Child Support are not the same as the UK, so you will have to provide a list of your income and outgoings if she puts a claim in. Consideration will be given to the fact that you will have some staying contact where you pay for things for the child, and if there is costs of contact (for example skype calls etc). My advise is to try to do a deal with your ex, in a Formal Document you both sign.

Regarding her friend looking after the child, it is illigal to pay anyone except a Registerd Child Minder or Ofstead Aproved Company, for more than 14 days child care per year.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#3
(04-25-2017, 09:59 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 07:48 AM)Polikarpos Wrote: Hi everyone,

First of all I would like to give my congratulations to the people who created this forum. There is so much useful information here. unfortunately I couldn’t find something similar to my case so I m creating this post. Any help is welcome.

I live and work in Greece for about 7 months a year, running a 30 year old sailing boat charter company. I used to sail the islands worry free and happy. On one of my cruises I met my ex-partner; a Russian living in the UK. We fell crazy in love and despite the distance (she was studying here – I was working there) we managed to maintain our relationship (was not easy and we did argue a lot) and ended up having a beautiful boy who is now 19 months old and was born here in the UK.

Unfortunately things didn’t go well for us after the pregnancy. Her behavior became really abusive and her mind unreasonable. It was and still is impossible even to have a conversation with her as she will constantly interrupt with non-sense and of course everything has to be done her way.

We spent last summer in Greece as a family but since I had to work hard and didn’ t spend enough time with her, she left me(just when I finished work actually) taking our son and came back to her mom and decided to start a career. I came back to the UK so I could see my baby. Things where not going well. Special circumstances with the business made me return to Greece in January earlier than usual. At the same time my ex-partner found a job in a different city leaving our son to be raised by her mother and grandmother (who has cancer and doing chemotherapy). She would be coming back to see him 3 days a week. After that it all went downhill…constant arguing leading to us breaking up.

The problem is that my ex-partner is slowly trying to cut me off my son's life. She first cut off our once per week skype calls (I think she said something like ‘I will not turn the camera for you so that you can see your son’). I then decided to come visit so I can see him and now that I ‘m here she has started threating me that she will not allow me to see him if he doesn’t sleep as easy at nights or if I spoil his daily routine and other non-sense like that. She has also said that I ‘m not his dad but a stranger visiting for a week and going, that she has started dating and other beautiful things like that. It is obvious that she will make my life difficult so I do not trust her anymore and I feel that she ‘ll try to replace me with her partner (although I seriously doubt anyone will stand her if she behaves like she does now). 

So after all this long introduction (sorry for the long part) to my questions: 

What should I do to protect my rights as a father and establish visiting times or days? How much time would I be entitled to? Would that be unsupervised? Is his young age a problem?

Does the fact that I work abroad affect things? I can only be in the UK from November to March. During those months, I can reside with my brother who is living in London (different city but not too far from either my ex’s work or mothers’ place), father of a 2 year-old, in a baby friendly house.

Also as per his upbringing, she is using a Russian lady to take our boy out for walks. I have only seen her picture. Don’t even know if she is certified or not. Can I ask that he goes to a English speaking nursery so that he gets to hear a language that I can communicate with him and also I can see how he is doing and progressing?

Thank you beforehand.

The first thing here is do you have PR for the Child. You would get this by being married to your ex on the day of birth, by being present at time of registering the birth and signing or in another formal way (you would know).

There is no need for Mediation in this case, due to the Internatal Aspects of the case. CMS also have no Jursistrtiction as your not settled in the UK, so if you can not agree Child Support, then she can bring a case in our Family Court.

If she is now claiming you are not the father, but she allowed you to sign the birth certificate, she is commiting the crime of Purgery in the UK, and you should report this to the office the birth was registered at.

If you have PR, you are on the same legal standing in the UK as your ex. Once a Court Order is made, she is the Resident Parnet, but you make all the decisions in the time a court has put the child in your care for, so you ex doe not have any right to be present.

Anyone with PR can give consent for Medical Treatment, even when a court order exists.

You have the right to apply to Court on Form C100, for PR (if you do not have it) and/or  a Child Arrangments Order.
Contact (visitation) is during the Non Resident Parnets avaliable times.
Where a child is under 2, its normal to have 4-6 hours per week, what might be over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, in your situation you would get Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and half the school holidays. The child needs their own bed, but Children under 10 can share a room with anyone except a child 10-16 of the other sex.

I would not waste time going for shared care, as your not about all year round, but perhaps mid week indirect contact by telephone/skype can be part of the order.

Ask for the contact order to run in the times you in the UK, and outside that, for Indirect contact to form part of the order.

In your case, your day to day costs for Child Support are not the same as the UK, so you will have to provide a list of your income and outgoings if she puts a claim in. Consideration will be given to the fact that you will have some staying contact where you pay for things for the child, and if there is costs of contact (for example skype calls etc). My advise is to try to do a deal with your ex, in a Formal Document you both sign.

Regarding her friend looking after the child, it is illigal to pay anyone except a Registerd Child Minder or Ofstead Aproved Company, for more than 14 days child care per year.

Hi Mark,
 
Thank you for the prompt reply and useful information. It is comforting to hear that my rights are not influenced by me being abroad some time a year.

I do have PR as I am registered in the birth certificate and the child has my surname. Also my ex has never claimed that I am not the biological father (she has used the phrase as a nasty comment that I am nothing to my son) so there is no case there either.

Unfortunately I don’t think a deal with my ex is possible. I have tried to tell her that we have to make an arrangement in place for everybody’s shake but she was negative without even listening and would just go on with her delirium of bad comments. It’s frustrating really to have to deal with such a person.

I don’t want shared care. I understand that being away for so long wouldn’t work. I wish she would give me sole custody and I could take him to Greece with me but that would never happen.

So would you advise I use a lawyer for the order? Furthermore, how long does it usually take for the court to make a ruling on it?

Assuming I do get the order in place and the result is like you said weekends every second week and half the school holidays, do I have to live in the same city as her or can I take him to where I will be living in the UK? What happens if she gets a job somewhere else and she moves? Lastly, is the contact days binding for either of us, meaning what are the consequences if she doesn’t give him to me or if I ‘m not able to show up on some scheduled dates? Half the school holidays would mean half a summer too…would I be able to take him abroad then?

On another subject I have seen that having PR means that I have a say on which school my son goes to. Would that count for the nursery too? I see a clear plan from my ex to alienate my boy from me by making him as Russian as possible. Would that be in the same form?

As for the financials I don’t care as long as it is fair and the money goes for my son’s wellbeing…when that question arises I will deal with it.

Again thank you for your help and sorry if I bombard you with all these questions.
Reply
#4
(04-25-2017, 08:10 PM)Polikarpos Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 09:59 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 07:48 AM)Polikarpos Wrote: Hi everyone,

First of all I would like to give my congratulations to the people who created this forum. There is so much useful information here. unfortunately I couldn’t find something similar to my case so I m creating this post. Any help is welcome.

I live and work in Greece for about 7 months a year, running a 30 year old sailing boat charter company. I used to sail the islands worry free and happy. On one of my cruises I met my ex-partner; a Russian living in the UK. We fell crazy in love and despite the distance (she was studying here – I was working there) we managed to maintain our relationship (was not easy and we did argue a lot) and ended up having a beautiful boy who is now 19 months old and was born here in the UK.

Unfortunately things didn’t go well for us after the pregnancy. Her behavior became really abusive and her mind unreasonable. It was and still is impossible even to have a conversation with her as she will constantly interrupt with non-sense and of course everything has to be done her way.

We spent last summer in Greece as a family but since I had to work hard and didn’ t spend enough time with her, she left me(just when I finished work actually) taking our son and came back to her mom and decided to start a career. I came back to the UK so I could see my baby. Things where not going well. Special circumstances with the business made me return to Greece in January earlier than usual. At the same time my ex-partner found a job in a different city leaving our son to be raised by her mother and grandmother (who has cancer and doing chemotherapy). She would be coming back to see him 3 days a week. After that it all went downhill…constant arguing leading to us breaking up.

The problem is that my ex-partner is slowly trying to cut me off my son's life. She first cut off our once per week skype calls (I think she said something like ‘I will not turn the camera for you so that you can see your son’). I then decided to come visit so I can see him and now that I ‘m here she has started threating me that she will not allow me to see him if he doesn’t sleep as easy at nights or if I spoil his daily routine and other non-sense like that. She has also said that I ‘m not his dad but a stranger visiting for a week and going, that she has started dating and other beautiful things like that. It is obvious that she will make my life difficult so I do not trust her anymore and I feel that she ‘ll try to replace me with her partner (although I seriously doubt anyone will stand her if she behaves like she does now). 

So after all this long introduction (sorry for the long part) to my questions: 

What should I do to protect my rights as a father and establish visiting times or days? How much time would I be entitled to? Would that be unsupervised? Is his young age a problem?

Does the fact that I work abroad affect things? I can only be in the UK from November to March. During those months, I can reside with my brother who is living in London (different city but not too far from either my ex’s work or mothers’ place), father of a 2 year-old, in a baby friendly house.

Also as per his upbringing, she is using a Russian lady to take our boy out for walks. I have only seen her picture. Don’t even know if she is certified or not. Can I ask that he goes to a English speaking nursery so that he gets to hear a language that I can communicate with him and also I can see how he is doing and progressing?

Thank you beforehand.

The first thing here is do you have PR for the Child. You would get this by being married to your ex on the day of birth, by being present at time of registering the birth and signing or in another formal way (you would know).

There is no need for Mediation in this case, due to the Internatal Aspects of the case. CMS also have no Jursistrtiction as your not settled in the UK, so if you can not agree Child Support, then she can bring a case in our Family Court.

If she is now claiming you are not the father, but she allowed you to sign the birth certificate, she is commiting the crime of Purgery in the UK, and you should report this to the office the birth was registered at.

If you have PR, you are on the same legal standing in the UK as your ex. Once a Court Order is made, she is the Resident Parnet, but you make all the decisions in the time a court has put the child in your care for, so you ex doe not have any right to be present.

Anyone with PR can give consent for Medical Treatment, even when a court order exists.

You have the right to apply to Court on Form C100, for PR (if you do not have it) and/or  a Child Arrangments Order.
Contact (visitation) is during the Non Resident Parnets avaliable times.
Where a child is under 2, its normal to have 4-6 hours per week, what might be over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, in your situation you would get Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and half the school holidays. The child needs their own bed, but Children under 10 can share a room with anyone except a child 10-16 of the other sex.

I would not waste time going for shared care, as your not about all year round, but perhaps mid week indirect contact by telephone/skype can be part of the order.

Ask for the contact order to run in the times you in the UK, and outside that, for Indirect contact to form part of the order.

In your case, your day to day costs for Child Support are not the same as the UK, so you will have to provide a list of your income and outgoings if she puts a claim in. Consideration will be given to the fact that you will have some staying contact where you pay for things for the child, and if there is costs of contact (for example skype calls etc). My advise is to try to do a deal with your ex, in a Formal Document you both sign.

Regarding her friend looking after the child, it is illigal to pay anyone except a Registerd Child Minder or Ofstead Aproved Company, for more than 14 days child care per year.

Hi Mark,
 
Thank you for the prompt reply and useful information. It is comforting to hear that my rights are not influenced by me being abroad some time a year.

I do have PR as I am registered in the birth certificate and the child has my surname. Also my ex has never claimed that I am not the biological father (she has used the phrase as a nasty comment that I am nothing to my son) so there is no case there either.

Unfortunately I don’t think a deal with my ex is possible. I have tried to tell her that we have to make an arrangement in place for everybody’s shake but she was negative without even listening and would just go on with her delirium of bad comments. It’s frustrating really to have to deal with such a person.

I don’t want shared care. I understand that being away for so long wouldn’t work. I wish she would give me sole custody and I could take him to Greece with me but that would never happen.

So would you advise I use a lawyer for the order? Furthermore, how long does it usually take for the court to make a ruling on it?

Assuming I do get the order in place and the result is like you said weekends every second week and half the school holidays, do I have to live in the same city as her or can I take him to where I will be living in the UK? What happens if she gets a job somewhere else and she moves? Lastly, is the contact days binding for either of us, meaning what are the consequences if she doesn’t give him to me or if I ‘m not able to show up on some scheduled dates? Half the school holidays would mean half a summer too…would I be able to take him abroad then?

On another subject I have seen that having PR means that I have a say on which school my son goes to. Would that count for the nursery too? I see a clear plan from my ex to alienate my boy from me by making him as Russian as possible. Would that be in the same form?

As for the financials I don’t care as long as it is fair and the money goes for my son’s wellbeing…when that question arises I will deal with it.

Again thank you for your help and sorry if I bombard you with all these questions.

First of all, under UK law, its your Childs Rights we are helping you with, and I am sure the Posiition you will be making to the UK Courts is that you have Responcabilitys that you are very keen to carry out, what is why you are seeking their help getting Contact in place and that you are willing to engage with your ex regarding Child Support as that is one your your responablitys.

As part of the Court Process, you will have to do what is called a Positon Statement, what will outline what your expeting, and your efforts so far to try to achive it. Courts like you to show you have tried to sort things, before bringing them into it.

Unless there is issues with your Ex in terms of Parenting, Child Welfare or Protection you are not going to get Residance, but I am sure the Courts would let you take the child out of the UK for Holidays, to see your country and relatives.

At this stage my view is that no Solicitor is needed. A few checks on the law and what your asking for and a deal might be done. At the First Hearing, the Judge will want you to do Position Statements in 14 days.  Once you get hers, it might be time to put a Solicitor in.

The Order would set out collection and return arrangements. It does not matter where you are located, as long as the child gets to the location of contact in time to eat if need be, and settle down for bed. If you have concerns about her relocation, then on your application, ask for a Prohibited Steps Court Order, perventing the relocation of the child during the Child Arrangements Process.

Once an order is made, if she does not follow it, you can apply to enforce the order, where she can be fined or made to do unpaid work. Also, you can then ask for the order to be upgraded, so next time, she can be sent to prision.

If you do not show, your ex can apply to take away that contact.

Regarding the Summer, as per above, you have a case, for 3 weeks, but you might only get 2.

Having PR means you need to be consulted, but as the Resident Parent, its up to your ex. School normally have systems in place, where you will get Newsletters by email, seperate parents night, and the chance to buy photos.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#5
(04-25-2017, 08:52 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 08:10 PM)Polikarpos Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 09:59 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 07:48 AM)Polikarpos Wrote: Hi everyone,

First of all I would like to give my congratulations to the people who created this forum. There is so much useful information here. unfortunately I couldn’t find something similar to my case so I m creating this post. Any help is welcome.

I live and work in Greece for about 7 months a year, running a 30 year old sailing boat charter company. I used to sail the islands worry free and happy. On one of my cruises I met my ex-partner; a Russian living in the UK. We fell crazy in love and despite the distance (she was studying here – I was working there) we managed to maintain our relationship (was not easy and we did argue a lot) and ended up having a beautiful boy who is now 19 months old and was born here in the UK.

Unfortunately things didn’t go well for us after the pregnancy. Her behavior became really abusive and her mind unreasonable. It was and still is impossible even to have a conversation with her as she will constantly interrupt with non-sense and of course everything has to be done her way.

We spent last summer in Greece as a family but since I had to work hard and didn’ t spend enough time with her, she left me(just when I finished work actually) taking our son and came back to her mom and decided to start a career. I came back to the UK so I could see my baby. Things where not going well. Special circumstances with the business made me return to Greece in January earlier than usual. At the same time my ex-partner found a job in a different city leaving our son to be raised by her mother and grandmother (who has cancer and doing chemotherapy). She would be coming back to see him 3 days a week. After that it all went downhill…constant arguing leading to us breaking up.

The problem is that my ex-partner is slowly trying to cut me off my son's life. She first cut off our once per week skype calls (I think she said something like ‘I will not turn the camera for you so that you can see your son’). I then decided to come visit so I can see him and now that I ‘m here she has started threating me that she will not allow me to see him if he doesn’t sleep as easy at nights or if I spoil his daily routine and other non-sense like that. She has also said that I ‘m not his dad but a stranger visiting for a week and going, that she has started dating and other beautiful things like that. It is obvious that she will make my life difficult so I do not trust her anymore and I feel that she ‘ll try to replace me with her partner (although I seriously doubt anyone will stand her if she behaves like she does now). 

So after all this long introduction (sorry for the long part) to my questions: 

What should I do to protect my rights as a father and establish visiting times or days? How much time would I be entitled to? Would that be unsupervised? Is his young age a problem?

Does the fact that I work abroad affect things? I can only be in the UK from November to March. During those months, I can reside with my brother who is living in London (different city but not too far from either my ex’s work or mothers’ place), father of a 2 year-old, in a baby friendly house.

Also as per his upbringing, she is using a Russian lady to take our boy out for walks. I have only seen her picture. Don’t even know if she is certified or not. Can I ask that he goes to a English speaking nursery so that he gets to hear a language that I can communicate with him and also I can see how he is doing and progressing?

Thank you beforehand.

The first thing here is do you have PR for the Child. You would get this by being married to your ex on the day of birth, by being present at time of registering the birth and signing or in another formal way (you would know).

There is no need for Mediation in this case, due to the Internatal Aspects of the case. CMS also have no Jursistrtiction as your not settled in the UK, so if you can not agree Child Support, then she can bring a case in our Family Court.

If she is now claiming you are not the father, but she allowed you to sign the birth certificate, she is commiting the crime of Purgery in the UK, and you should report this to the office the birth was registered at.

If you have PR, you are on the same legal standing in the UK as your ex. Once a Court Order is made, she is the Resident Parnet, but you make all the decisions in the time a court has put the child in your care for, so you ex doe not have any right to be present.

Anyone with PR can give consent for Medical Treatment, even when a court order exists.

You have the right to apply to Court on Form C100, for PR (if you do not have it) and/or  a Child Arrangments Order.
Contact (visitation) is during the Non Resident Parnets avaliable times.
Where a child is under 2, its normal to have 4-6 hours per week, what might be over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, in your situation you would get Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and half the school holidays. The child needs their own bed, but Children under 10 can share a room with anyone except a child 10-16 of the other sex.

I would not waste time going for shared care, as your not about all year round, but perhaps mid week indirect contact by telephone/skype can be part of the order.

Ask for the contact order to run in the times you in the UK, and outside that, for Indirect contact to form part of the order.

In your case, your day to day costs for Child Support are not the same as the UK, so you will have to provide a list of your income and outgoings if she puts a claim in. Consideration will be given to the fact that you will have some staying contact where you pay for things for the child, and if there is costs of contact (for example skype calls etc). My advise is to try to do a deal with your ex, in a Formal Document you both sign.

Regarding her friend looking after the child, it is illigal to pay anyone except a Registerd Child Minder or Ofstead Aproved Company, for more than 14 days child care per year.

Hi Mark,
 
Thank you for the prompt reply and useful information. It is comforting to hear that my rights are not influenced by me being abroad some time a year.

I do have PR as I am registered in the birth certificate and the child has my surname. Also my ex has never claimed that I am not the biological father (she has used the phrase as a nasty comment that I am nothing to my son) so there is no case there either.

Unfortunately I don’t think a deal with my ex is possible. I have tried to tell her that we have to make an arrangement in place for everybody’s shake but she was negative without even listening and would just go on with her delirium of bad comments. It’s frustrating really to have to deal with such a person.

I don’t want shared care. I understand that being away for so long wouldn’t work. I wish she would give me sole custody and I could take him to Greece with me but that would never happen.

So would you advise I use a lawyer for the order? Furthermore, how long does it usually take for the court to make a ruling on it?

Assuming I do get the order in place and the result is like you said weekends every second week and half the school holidays, do I have to live in the same city as her or can I take him to where I will be living in the UK? What happens if she gets a job somewhere else and she moves? Lastly, is the contact days binding for either of us, meaning what are the consequences if she doesn’t give him to me or if I ‘m not able to show up on some scheduled dates? Half the school holidays would mean half a summer too…would I be able to take him abroad then?

On another subject I have seen that having PR means that I have a say on which school my son goes to. Would that count for the nursery too? I see a clear plan from my ex to alienate my boy from me by making him as Russian as possible. Would that be in the same form?

As for the financials I don’t care as long as it is fair and the money goes for my son’s wellbeing…when that question arises I will deal with it.

Again thank you for your help and sorry if I bombard you with all these questions.

First of all, under UK law, its your Childs Rights we are helping you with, and I am sure the Posiition you will be making to the UK Courts is that you have Responcabilitys that you are very keen to carry out, what is why you are seeking their help getting Contact in place and that you are willing to engage with your ex regarding Child Support as that is one your your responablitys.

As part of the Court Process, you will have to do what is called a Positon Statement, what will outline what your expeting, and your efforts so far to try to achive it. Courts like you to show you have tried to sort things, before bringing them into it.

Unless there is issues with your Ex in terms of Parenting, Child Welfare or Protection you are not going to get Residance, but I am sure the Courts would let you take the child out of the UK for Holidays, to see your country and relatives.

At this stage my view is that no Solicitor is needed. A few checks on the law and what your asking for and a deal might be done. At the First Hearing, the Judge will want you to do Position Statements in 14 days.  Once you get hers, it might be time to put a Solicitor in.

The Order would set out collection and return arrangements. It does not matter where you are located, as long as the child gets to the location of contact in time to eat if need be, and settle down for bed. If you have concerns about her relocation, then on your application, ask for a Prohibited Steps Court Order, perventing the relocation of the child during the Child Arrangements Process.

Once an order is made, if she does not follow it, you can apply to enforce the order, where she can be fined or made to do unpaid work. Also, you can then ask for the order to be upgraded, so next time, she can be sent to prision.

If you do not show, your ex can apply to take away that contact.

Regarding the Summer, as per above, you have a case, for 3 weeks, but you might only get 2.

Having PR means you need to be consulted, but as the Resident Parent, its up to your ex. School normally have systems in place, where you will get Newsletters by email, seperate parents night, and the chance to buy photos.


You are right. It is about the child. Nonetheless I have heard many views some of which not in my favor so I used the first person. In an ideal world couples should stay together or if they can't they should be able to reach an agreement with the childs' interests taken into account first. And all children need their father.

I have looked at the C100 form and it is mentioned implicitly that a mediator has to be consulted prior to taking the case to family court, which means that if I don't reach an agreement with my ex (highly likely) I need to see them. As I am in the UK this week I m thinking of trying to have a first meeting and see what they will say. 

I will post if I have some news.

Thanks again.
Reply
#6
(04-25-2017, 10:15 PM)Polikarpos Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 08:52 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 08:10 PM)Polikarpos Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 09:59 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-25-2017, 07:48 AM)Polikarpos Wrote: Hi everyone,

First of all I would like to give my congratulations to the people who created this forum. There is so much useful information here. unfortunately I couldn’t find something similar to my case so I m creating this post. Any help is welcome.

I live and work in Greece for about 7 months a year, running a 30 year old sailing boat charter company. I used to sail the islands worry free and happy. On one of my cruises I met my ex-partner; a Russian living in the UK. We fell crazy in love and despite the distance (she was studying here – I was working there) we managed to maintain our relationship (was not easy and we did argue a lot) and ended up having a beautiful boy who is now 19 months old and was born here in the UK.

Unfortunately things didn’t go well for us after the pregnancy. Her behavior became really abusive and her mind unreasonable. It was and still is impossible even to have a conversation with her as she will constantly interrupt with non-sense and of course everything has to be done her way.

We spent last summer in Greece as a family but since I had to work hard and didn’ t spend enough time with her, she left me(just when I finished work actually) taking our son and came back to her mom and decided to start a career. I came back to the UK so I could see my baby. Things where not going well. Special circumstances with the business made me return to Greece in January earlier than usual. At the same time my ex-partner found a job in a different city leaving our son to be raised by her mother and grandmother (who has cancer and doing chemotherapy). She would be coming back to see him 3 days a week. After that it all went downhill…constant arguing leading to us breaking up.

The problem is that my ex-partner is slowly trying to cut me off my son's life. She first cut off our once per week skype calls (I think she said something like ‘I will not turn the camera for you so that you can see your son’). I then decided to come visit so I can see him and now that I ‘m here she has started threating me that she will not allow me to see him if he doesn’t sleep as easy at nights or if I spoil his daily routine and other non-sense like that. She has also said that I ‘m not his dad but a stranger visiting for a week and going, that she has started dating and other beautiful things like that. It is obvious that she will make my life difficult so I do not trust her anymore and I feel that she ‘ll try to replace me with her partner (although I seriously doubt anyone will stand her if she behaves like she does now). 

So after all this long introduction (sorry for the long part) to my questions: 

What should I do to protect my rights as a father and establish visiting times or days? How much time would I be entitled to? Would that be unsupervised? Is his young age a problem?

Does the fact that I work abroad affect things? I can only be in the UK from November to March. During those months, I can reside with my brother who is living in London (different city but not too far from either my ex’s work or mothers’ place), father of a 2 year-old, in a baby friendly house.

Also as per his upbringing, she is using a Russian lady to take our boy out for walks. I have only seen her picture. Don’t even know if she is certified or not. Can I ask that he goes to a English speaking nursery so that he gets to hear a language that I can communicate with him and also I can see how he is doing and progressing?

Thank you beforehand.

The first thing here is do you have PR for the Child. You would get this by being married to your ex on the day of birth, by being present at time of registering the birth and signing or in another formal way (you would know).

There is no need for Mediation in this case, due to the Internatal Aspects of the case. CMS also have no Jursistrtiction as your not settled in the UK, so if you can not agree Child Support, then she can bring a case in our Family Court.

If she is now claiming you are not the father, but she allowed you to sign the birth certificate, she is commiting the crime of Purgery in the UK, and you should report this to the office the birth was registered at.

If you have PR, you are on the same legal standing in the UK as your ex. Once a Court Order is made, she is the Resident Parnet, but you make all the decisions in the time a court has put the child in your care for, so you ex doe not have any right to be present.

Anyone with PR can give consent for Medical Treatment, even when a court order exists.

You have the right to apply to Court on Form C100, for PR (if you do not have it) and/or  a Child Arrangments Order.
Contact (visitation) is during the Non Resident Parnets avaliable times.
Where a child is under 2, its normal to have 4-6 hours per week, what might be over 1 or 2 days.

From 2, in your situation you would get Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and half the school holidays. The child needs their own bed, but Children under 10 can share a room with anyone except a child 10-16 of the other sex.

I would not waste time going for shared care, as your not about all year round, but perhaps mid week indirect contact by telephone/skype can be part of the order.

Ask for the contact order to run in the times you in the UK, and outside that, for Indirect contact to form part of the order.

In your case, your day to day costs for Child Support are not the same as the UK, so you will have to provide a list of your income and outgoings if she puts a claim in. Consideration will be given to the fact that you will have some staying contact where you pay for things for the child, and if there is costs of contact (for example skype calls etc). My advise is to try to do a deal with your ex, in a Formal Document you both sign.

Regarding her friend looking after the child, it is illigal to pay anyone except a Registerd Child Minder or Ofstead Aproved Company, for more than 14 days child care per year.

Hi Mark,
 
Thank you for the prompt reply and useful information. It is comforting to hear that my rights are not influenced by me being abroad some time a year.

I do have PR as I am registered in the birth certificate and the child has my surname. Also my ex has never claimed that I am not the biological father (she has used the phrase as a nasty comment that I am nothing to my son) so there is no case there either.

Unfortunately I don’t think a deal with my ex is possible. I have tried to tell her that we have to make an arrangement in place for everybody’s shake but she was negative without even listening and would just go on with her delirium of bad comments. It’s frustrating really to have to deal with such a person.

I don’t want shared care. I understand that being away for so long wouldn’t work. I wish she would give me sole custody and I could take him to Greece with me but that would never happen.

So would you advise I use a lawyer for the order? Furthermore, how long does it usually take for the court to make a ruling on it?

Assuming I do get the order in place and the result is like you said weekends every second week and half the school holidays, do I have to live in the same city as her or can I take him to where I will be living in the UK? What happens if she gets a job somewhere else and she moves? Lastly, is the contact days binding for either of us, meaning what are the consequences if she doesn’t give him to me or if I ‘m not able to show up on some scheduled dates? Half the school holidays would mean half a summer too…would I be able to take him abroad then?

On another subject I have seen that having PR means that I have a say on which school my son goes to. Would that count for the nursery too? I see a clear plan from my ex to alienate my boy from me by making him as Russian as possible. Would that be in the same form?

As for the financials I don’t care as long as it is fair and the money goes for my son’s wellbeing…when that question arises I will deal with it.

Again thank you for your help and sorry if I bombard you with all these questions.

First of all, under UK law, its your Childs Rights we are helping you with, and I am sure the Posiition you will be making to the UK Courts is that you have Responcabilitys that you are very keen to carry out, what is why you are seeking their help getting Contact in place and that you are willing to engage with your ex regarding Child Support as that is one your your responablitys.

As part of the Court Process, you will have to do what is called a Positon Statement, what will outline what your expeting, and your efforts so far to try to achive it. Courts like you to show you have tried to sort things, before bringing them into it.

Unless there is issues with your Ex in terms of Parenting, Child Welfare or Protection you are not going to get Residance, but I am sure the Courts would let you take the child out of the UK for Holidays, to see your country and relatives.

At this stage my view is that no Solicitor is needed. A few checks on the law and what your asking for and a deal might be done. At the First Hearing, the Judge will want you to do Position Statements in 14 days.  Once you get hers, it might be time to put a Solicitor in.

The Order would set out collection and return arrangements. It does not matter where you are located, as long as the child gets to the location of contact in time to eat if need be, and settle down for bed. If you have concerns about her relocation, then on your application, ask for a Prohibited Steps Court Order, perventing the relocation of the child during the Child Arrangements Process.

Once an order is made, if she does not follow it, you can apply to enforce the order, where she can be fined or made to do unpaid work. Also, you can then ask for the order to be upgraded, so next time, she can be sent to prision.

If you do not show, your ex can apply to take away that contact.

Regarding the Summer, as per above, you have a case, for 3 weeks, but you might only get 2.

Having PR means you need to be consulted, but as the Resident Parent, its up to your ex. School normally have systems in place, where you will get Newsletters by email, seperate parents night, and the chance to buy photos.


You are right. It is about the child. Nonetheless I have heard many views some of which not in my favor so I used the first person. In an ideal world couples should stay together or if they can't they should be able to reach an agreement with the childs' interests taken into account first. And all children need their father.

I have looked at the C100 form and it is mentioned implicitly that a mediator has to be consulted prior to taking the case to family court, which means that if I don't reach an agreement with my ex (highly likely) I need to see them. As I am in the UK this week I m thinking of trying to have a first meeting and see what they will say. 

I will post if I have some news.

Thanks again.

You do not need Mediation, on the C100, International Aspects need to be ticked. The Mediation Agreement is not reconised in law outside the UK, where as our County Court Order is enforcable in the EU, and in most countries who signed up for The Hauge Conversion.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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