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Another who's world is falling apart
#11
Well she's so determined to move on and still be "amicable", parenting the children equally. She's prepared to rent and leave the house to me. and willing to take a ridiculously low buyout on the mortgage. I suspect this is where things will change and I'll start to look like the bad guy, but my priority has to be myself and the children future.
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#12
Harrison404 - Much of what you are going through right now is where I'm at, I'm sorry man. My expenses were stretched a long time ago, now I'm being railroaded into giving up occupancy, situation has been toxic for some 8 months now, literally no communication since christmas and for some 7-8 weeks now no contact with my children. I think that there is a male 'futility' gene that attempts to fix the unfixable. I'm personally looking forward to a life beyond the present moment, because the present moment sucks. Just got to keep being strong for the children in the longer run.

Gezsan - "women have an incredibly manipulative way of turning this all on the man, and the longer this 'situation' lasts, the worst it will get. I've gone from being a 'good man and a great dad, i care about you - i just don't love you anymore., to 2 months later being selfish, a prick, a wanker, a fake father, a horrible person and all other names under the sun'."

OMFG quoted for truth. And it's not waffling, that's reality that bears so many parallels to my situation (and many others here).

I've gone from hero to zero in a millisecond and I'm now apparently a disney dad, prick, asshole, all the rest of it. Stunning volatility turned hostility.
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#13
Maybe I'm there too....
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#14
Harrison 404

Take this - She's prepared to rent and leave the house to me. and willing to take a ridiculously low buyout on the mortgage.

Don't worry about this - I suspect this is where things will change and I'll start to look like the bad guy,

Do this - my priority has to be myself and the children future.
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#15
Head is still all over the shop, can anyone recommend where I can start getting some legal advice.
Although in principle I've discussed with her that the likelihood of her moving out and me staying in the family home will eventually happen, I fear she's going to steamroll into it without my consent (if that's the correct term)
I've stated that I'm going away for a couple of weeks, to give us (although it feels like just me) more space and time. I'll come back every so often and when I do she'll stay at her parents, She's agreed but it's more of annoyance to her. I'm forever trying to slow the situation down and take stock, but given up looking for remorse from her.

My question would be, if she did go ahead and rent, taking the children with her. Where would I stand?
Surely the family home means something and it would be considered reckless for her to do it without us both agreeing. Or am I just clutching straws?

(05-02-2017, 02:39 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Harrison 404

Take this - She's prepared to rent and leave the house to me. and willing to take a ridiculously low buyout on the mortgage.

Don't worry about this - I suspect this is where things will change and I'll start to look like the bad guy,

Do this - my priority has to be myself and the children future.

top priorities
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#16
(05-01-2017, 10:59 PM)harrison404 Wrote: Well she's so determined to move on and still be "amicable", parenting the children equally. She's prepared to rent and leave the house to me. and willing to take a ridiculously low buyout on the mortgage. I suspect this is where things will change and I'll start to look like the bad guy, but my priority has to be myself and the children future.

Dont worry about the being the bad guy - you are not. Just worry about looking after yourself and the kids - and yes in that order, if you canT be healthy in body and mind then it will be hard to the dad you want to be.

I was in the exact same position as you, went from hero to zero.... wife had an affair , hit me, bullied me etc. and then I moved out and she has treated me like crap ever since.  I have recently put a post on stating about me looking at living with my new partner and she is now trying to stop that.

Remember that times goes quickly, I 100% promise you that you will feel better in the future, your mind will clear and the grief will also go, your body will feel better.  If you can keep the house then do it, look after the kids and carry on being the great dad that you are.
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#17
I am in this position same scenario, same emotions,same wife I no longer understand,third party involved,only positive is I'm getting joint custody,usual money worries business been struggling debts incurred now business doing better all strained marriage etc etc 2 beautiful 12 year old twins 22 years together,thing I'd like to say , I'm a good man love parenting, loving husband totally devoted to my family, I started to question myself, no matter how difficult it is , I found being resolute and determined to put my daughters first, and now knowing friend and family and on here there is support ,do anything to turn clock back and keep family together, and stop this torment,I've made mistakes since this happened,it's difficult not to emotionally,just believe I'm a decent chap and loving dad ,since I realised I have to be strong moving forward I turned a little corner
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