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When it stops being amicable?
#1
As I've said in another post, the wife is moving out in 2 weeks time.
I've got a feeling as soon as she leaves the marital home she will turn nasty! She is naturally selfish and when she realises how tough it is coping on her own, I know she will turn on me!

A quick re-cap on my situation...
She had an affair with a friend of ours..
I found out...
She had no remorse, says she loves him not me..
I ask her to move out...
We have still been living together but in seperate rooms...
She promised to have no contact with him while we were still living under the same roof...
She broke this promise and did all sorts under my nose...
She agrees not fair to treat me like this and is moving out....
She has found a rental house....
She is claiming all child benefits...
I'm going to pay £200 per nth to help her as maintenance....
Childcare will be 50:50....
I will stay in the family home and continue to pay the mortgage, bills, maintenence costs etc..
She keeps the car and continues to pay the pcp, or sends it back for cheaper model....

Now, my mind is looking at how I can keep the family home?
Bought together(joint mortgage) before marriage for 53k in 1998. I have done two extensions over the years and we have remortgage to fund this but I have done all the labour and swapped labour with work colleagues to do this.
House now approx value £350k which leaves us £210k of equity....
I can't afford to buy her out completely and at the moment she doesn't want me to sell the family home as she appreciates it's importance to me and the fact I built it for the kids!!

Now in 6mths time her first period of house rental will be up and her housing benefit may not continue, so she will be looking at other options. Obviously getting her equity out of the house will be her next priority.
She's "kindly" not hitting me with all the emotional stuff in one go because she still "cares" for me...
Step one- she has an affair..
Step two- moves out & takes 50% of time with sons..
Step three- eventually force sale of the family home..

What are my options... as the father I feel I get know say.
I'm thinking.
Get house valued as soon as she leaves. The house is not completely finished so is worth more if I spend time and money continueing to do it up. But I'd want to keep the extra equity created in that scenario.(possible?)
I could sell some assets, raise some money and offer a partial buyout.(she's unlikely to except less than 50% equity, no matter how fair that is to me)
Be stubborn and make her force the sale through courts.
Just sell up and split assets, walk away with clean break and start again.(sounds easy, but I've put everything into this house, heart and sole and the boys love it here, they've lived here since the days they were born!) and yes I'm sentimental about stuff like that!

She's funded her house move (sofa/tv/white goods etc.)with her redundancy money. But I said she could take what she needs from our house.
So I now have to buy new beds etc for me and boys.

I've been completely amicable ( through gritted teeth) hoping this will stand me good stead when it gets nasty (not normally a pessimist) but this is serious stuff and I won't let male pride and bravado let me down!

All advice/ experiences welcome
Cheers guys
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