Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Issues with Child arrangement order
#1
Hi all

Well first off this is my first time posting here.  I have been reading some of the threads and will say my issue is a little less pressing and distressing than some.  I will aim to offer advice/a view where I have relevant experience.

Keeping the background short: 2 kids age 12 (13 shortly) and 8.  Was married to Mother 10 years, 16 year relationship. Divorce, accusations, Cafcass and SS involved.  Went to trial on child abuse issues, found not guilty.  Family court advised against a fact finding hearing.  Assessed again by SS with supervised contact and deemed safe. 
Current situation: Order in place kids live with Mum.  Contact is every second Tuesday evening from school to 7pm.  Every second weekend from school on Friday until 5pm Sunday.  One week at Easter holidays (4 nights), 2 weeks in the Summer holidays and 1 week at Christmas.  Christmas day is shared Morning and afternoon rotating each year.  

Sounds good, so my issues are.  I have incredibly limited communication with my Ex.  There has never been any mediation as she alleges spousal abuse and uses that to avoid any mediation.  The Tuesday and weekend contact works like clockwork 99% without issue.  It is holiday contact that is an issue that has got progressively worse.    My ex attempts to impose dates on me when the contact will happen.  In the past this has caused one week of summer contact to be moved to the October half term, some days at Christmas missed.  The situation this year is that she has given a list of non negotiable dates.  These are the dates I must have the children according to her.  If I do not comply then I will have to lose the contact.  I have in return given her a list of flexible options.  This year she suggests I lose 3 days of my week at Christmas as I am unable to have the time off that she has stipulated.  We currently have no agreement in place for the Summer or Christmas contact. This behaviour continues in various other areas of contact.  My daughter joined air cadets which is on a Tuesday from 7pm.  I have offered to support taking her however my ex's suggestion was just that she not come on a Tuesday with no alternative offered.  I asked her to change the day, she refused.  I objected to this so she insisted things stay exactly as they are and my daughter now goes to Air cadets half an hour late :/ 
I am unable to accept set in stone dates for holiday contact as like most people I work and have dates I am unable to be off work i.e when the AL quota is full, when my understudy is off and dates my employer blocks holiday for all.  

So my questions are.  Is this worth taking back to court? What is expected of me.  If I am unable to be off work am I expected to have contact and pay for/arrange child care? Will the court see her approach to contact as unreasonable or disruptive? 

Any comments welcome, thanks in advance.
Reply
#2
As a non-resident parent, contact should be based around YOUR availability and not hers - and as such she should be paying for the childminder.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
Reply
#3
Yes take it back to court ASAP.
 
Request that your midweek visits be made into overnight stays to remove the issue of conflict with clubs and activities, and request that your time in the holidays runs before or after your weekend access of that corresponding week, and that all these dates are viewed and agreed by mid January each year to avoid conflict and confusion
Reply
#4
(05-04-2017, 11:19 AM)Blastarama Wrote: Hi all

Well first off this is my first time posting here.  I have been reading some of the threads and will say my issue is a little less pressing and distressing than some.  I will aim to offer advice/a view where I have relevant experience.

Keeping the background short: 2 kids age 12 (13 shortly) and 8.  Was married to Mother 10 years, 16 year relationship. Divorce, accusations, Cafcass and SS involved.  Went to trial on child abuse issues, found not guilty.  Family court advised against a fact finding hearing.  Assessed again by SS with supervised contact and deemed safe. 
Current situation: Order in place kids live with Mum.  Contact is every second Tuesday evening from school to 7pm.  Every second weekend from school on Friday until 5pm Sunday.  One week at Easter holidays (4 nights), 2 weeks in the Summer holidays and 1 week at Christmas.  Christmas day is shared Morning and afternoon rotating each year.  

Sounds good, so my issues are.  I have incredibly limited communication with my Ex.  There has never been any mediation as she alleges spousal abuse and uses that to avoid any mediation.  The Tuesday and weekend contact works like clockwork 99% without issue.  It is holiday contact that is an issue that has got progressively worse.    My ex attempts to impose dates on me when the contact will happen.  In the past this has caused one week of summer contact to be moved to the October half term, some days at Christmas missed.  The situation this year is that she has given a list of non negotiable dates.  These are the dates I must have the children according to her.  If I do not comply then I will have to lose the contact.  I have in return given her a list of flexible options.  This year she suggests I lose 3 days of my week at Christmas as I am unable to have the time off that she has stipulated.  We currently have no agreement in place for the Summer or Christmas contact. This behaviour continues in various other areas of contact.  My daughter joined air cadets which is on a Tuesday from 7pm.  I have offered to support taking her however my ex's suggestion was just that she not come on a Tuesday with no alternative offered.  I asked her to change the day, she refused.  I objected to this so she insisted things stay exactly as they are and my daughter now goes to Air cadets half an hour late :/ 
I am unable to accept set in stone dates for holiday contact as like most people I work and have dates I am unable to be off work i.e when the AL quota is full, when my understudy is off and dates my employer blocks holiday for all.  

So my questions are.  Is this worth taking back to court? What is expected of me.  If I am unable to be off work am I expected to have contact and pay for/arrange child care? Will the court see her approach to contact as unreasonable or disruptive? 

Any comments welcome, thanks in advance.

You need to apply to vary the existing order, stating the issues arround you ex imposting dates on you, and you not getting what the Court Ordered.
In law if you allow an aspect of an order to be broken 3 times without challanging it, its considered accepted by you, so not enforcable on a form C79.

My suggestion is defined dates, and you might want to tweek this template to suit your case.

1 weeek school holidays, normal weekend arrangments, perhaps extended by 24 hours, where its a bank holiday Monday the next day.

2 week school holidays, and 8 day block, to include the normal weekend.

Easter, 1 x 8 day block, or 2 x 4 day blocks, every other year to include the period Good Friday , with the child returned on the Bank Holiday Monday.

Summer, 1 x 2 week block and a further weekend, what might not follow normal timetable if ex going on holiday. However, you want it on the order there should not be a period over 18 days where you do not have contact.

Christmas, from early afternoon Christmas day, returning the children lunchtime New Years day.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  How to enforce the arrangement agreement/order Richardsolo 7 2,191 06-12-2021, 05:58 PM
Last Post: Richardsolo
  Court Order Issues (Scotland) dannym1213 4 2,088 01-30-2021, 02:37 AM
Last Post: dannym1213
  Considering amendment to Child Arrangement Order nikontog 10 4,909 01-03-2021, 03:47 PM
Last Post: warwickshire1
  Child arrangement order constantly broken Sadman2016 9 8,288 08-28-2019, 08:20 PM
Last Post: Sadman2016
  Child Maintenance Calculator issues Charlie7000 0 1,650 07-31-2019, 04:33 PM
Last Post: Charlie7000
  Child arrangement orders mucha79 2 3,666 01-25-2019, 08:49 AM
Last Post: mucha79
  Child Arrangement Order Advice, please Noel-1972 6 7,061 11-18-2018, 09:16 AM
Last Post: warwickshire1
  Child Arrangement Order Advice Stew2508 0 1,865 08-26-2018, 08:38 AM
Last Post: Stew2508
  Seeking advice for making an arrangement order pm180107 5 6,229 06-16-2018, 12:26 AM
Last Post: pm180107
  Amendment to child arrangement order Dadhl 0 1,869 06-04-2018, 06:56 PM
Last Post: Dadhl



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)