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lost and confused
#1
Hi All,

I'm new here so i really don't know where to begin....

Well i have been separated from my wife for 5 weeks now due to marriage break down from her cheating on me and we just weren't getting along anymore.
We have been together this coming July for 20 years as we are high school sweethearts. we have 2 beautiful girls which she uses against when things don't go here way.

We had problems like any marriage has, just nothing to major, but a year ago i caught her having an affair with one of her work colleges basically he was 18 when they started and her being his boss and 12 years his senior. What makes the situation hard she fell pregnant with this kids baby (he does not know) and when i found  out she was planning on getting an abortion, but we spoke about and i said i wanted to keep this child as it is unborn and innocent from the action of 2 people. I said i wanted to raise her like my very own i did not even think twice about it as 4 years prior we lost our first born and struggled with pregnancies and it just wasn't right to get an abortion as i just instantly  loved and felt connected to her for some reason. Once her affair was out in the open i still had to deal with them working together and was told to get over it, i ended up building a lot of anger and hatred to the women i once loved and lived for, in the end it become to much so i told her i'm leaving this town with or without. we ended up moving and hoping things would get better but it never did as she would always blame me for everything when things fell apart, it was my fault she cheated it was always me and never her. I was kicked out a fair few times and they never lasted for more then 4 days till i went back.
well i got kicked out again and 5 weeks later I've just moved from it all and decided its best if i remove myself from the whole situation as i was lost being a person i once was and we spoke about things and stayed civil for our girls. I was still being a decent person by still paying bills ect as she wasn't financially able to afford what was needed to be paid ( yes i know a lot of you would be saying stop) but i just can't image my kids going without because there mum and dad can't get it right. 
Well long story short i have been seeing someone (only friends) as she is going through the same thing with her ex husband, well my ex sort of had her suspicious that i might be seeing someone and she lost her cool, started saying i have blocked her fb and all that stuff. I calmly said what i do has nothing to do with you anymore and she  said i don't care what you not my problem...... well she got so mad as i wasn't retaliating like i would usually but getting angry and we end up in a vocal match. I quickly defused the situation by acting calm and collect and being civil and she did not like it one bit. She abused by swearing at me and i just kept telling her i'm done with this all and not gonna petty myself from it so i'm done and left it as that and said i will see the girls tomorrow and she straight away said no your not we are going out.... i said OK i will see them when you let me and cut the conversation off after 20mins of ignoring her she sent me abusive texts and tried calling me twice which i all ignored. This all happen last night, and this morning my eldest has pre school and i always talk to her before so i sent a text just to tell her i love her (my daughter that is) and have a good day, surprise i get abusive text back and my reply was have a good day.
Now i'm just stuck in this place where i feel so lost and confused as to what should i do, do i go see a solicitor or family court as i think she will be using my kids against a lot more and i'm just scared to lose them as i have been with them everyday since they have been born and i mean everyday until now. 

Any advice would be great,  Thank you.
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