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Scared, depressed, confused. Am I handling things right?
#1
Last 6 months - my marriage hasn't been so great. My wife's warmth to me dropped right off, but I never thought it would come to this.

3 weeks ago. I was putting our 5 year old daughter to bed. I said I'd read her one last story. She had other ideas, so started screaming in my ear about all the terrible things she'd do if she didn't get her own way. I tried to remain calm, but eventually snapped, pushed her back down onto the bed, held her in place so she'd listen and yelled how that behaviour wasn't acceptable.
Not my finest parenting. I could have handled things far better. - but it fell well within reasonable force in my eyes.
Wife hear's the commotion, tells me to get out the bedroom because I'm being overly aggressive. 30 minutes later after she's settled my daughter, she comes downstairs and says that my daughter says daddy punched her in the stomach and started shouting in her face.  (- I never punched her, and never would dream of doing so - but maybe the pushing down or holding down could be interpreted by a child as punching?) Wife said I needed to leave the house for a few days to calm down. She has no right to throw me out.The house is solely in my name and paid for entirely with money I earned before the marriage. - but eventually I said I'd go in the hopes of smoothing things over. Now I'm staying in a bed and breakfast.

A couple of days later, my wife texted that it might be months before she wanted me to come back. She said if my daughter told teachers in school what happened, she wanted to be able to tell social services I'm out of the house until I've had the help I need. At my wife's suggestion I've started weekly anger management sessions. 

I've now visited my daughter a couple of times a week. She is missing me, and happy to play with me for the whole visit. She's such a ray of sunshine, I'd like to see her even more.
She knows I'm out the house because I got too angry and "need to learn not to get angry." She certainly hasn't mentioned any physical side of the incident to me. She describes it as "when you shouted in my face." I think she's remembering it now,because it's connected with Dad being sent away,rather than the stress of the incident itself. I did about 75% of the childcare up to that point, so it's a big change for her.

Yesterday, my wife met with me, and said she doesn't know if she wants to get back together or not. Which was crushing, though not unexpected. She said she'd like to come to some sort of post nuptial legal arrangement where in the case of us splitting for good. - she gets the house, so as not to disrupt my daughter's life, and I get to keep the lion's share of my other assets so people don't think she's a gold-digger. (The house is only about 10% of my total wealth) She says she wants me to keep being a part of my daughter's life. Doesn't want me to be an entirely absent father. I said that while the thought of ending it forever was terrifying, that sort of arrangement sounded reasonable.

I still hold hopes of getting back together, but accept that's looking increasingly unlikely. I'm still doing things pretty much exactly as my wife requests, in the hopes of turning things around. I hope leaving the home, it's the wrong thing for my daughter, and that I haven't complicated my access rights, should things turn really nasty. Hopefully things don't turn nasty, but you never know.
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#2
You need to get this in writing, start living your OWN life, and stop doing exactly what your other half is telling you to do.

As you have gone for Anger Management, and the fact shes not doing anything legal regards to access (yet) it could be construed as Guilt if it ever gets to court.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
(05-08-2017, 12:43 PM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: You need to get this in writing, start living your OWN life, and stop doing exactly what your other half is telling you to do.

As you have gone for Anger Management, and the fact shes not doing anything legal regards to access (yet) it could be construed as Guilt if it ever gets to court.

100%
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