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Ex partner stopping me from seeing my son ADVICE NEEDED
#1
Exclamation 
My ex partner and i was in a horrible relationship but some how she has turned everything around on me. 
She was very abusive towards me (never our child) We broke up a month ago and she will not let me see my son.
Ive tried asking her if a family member could pick him up and drop him off as she is scared i wont bring him back.
But then its something else she has a problem with. She said she wanted a drug test so i said okay how do we go about that? and then it was no not now youve got to go court if you want to see him.
Im willing to do anything to be able to see my son again, Right now im missing things that i will never get back. Money is tight and in crazy amount of debt (Trying to sort our house out for my son, myself and ex partner) Ive managed to save up £500 but told court fees are more than that.
Ive asked for a contact centre but she has also refused.
I really need some advice as i dont know what to do next.

Thanks in advance
AJ
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#2
OK lets look at this

Do you have Parental Responsibility (Are you on the birth certificate?)
If so then at this moment in time you are on the SAME legal standing as her.

Court fees for a C/100 application run to around £215 (if you are on a low income then you might get a reduced rate) and mediation can cost around £80 (Shop around here! Also if she doesnt go to mediation (Which you need to do first) then you can have a No Show or Deadlock letter) - then you have the use of Solicitors/Barristers or a Mackenzie Friend if you want to use any of them. Or, like a lot of us on here, you can choose to represent yourself as a Litigant in Person.

Drug and Alcohol tests are EXTREMELY expensive, so unless you have a previous record for Drugs/Alcohol then only allow the court to order you to have them done - dont do them just because your ex wants you to. The cost for that can be around £600+ (Mine was literally just shy of £700 for Alcohol tests!! as she accused me of everything (and still is))

The one thing to keep in mind is that you are doing this for your son, not for you or her - the right of the relationship is with your son and not her - she will have to evidence (and prove) why you should not have access, but courts will normally always give some form of access.

Invis
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
(05-09-2017, 10:36 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: OK lets look at this

Do you have Parental Responsibility (Are you on the birth certificate?)
If so then at this moment in time you are on the SAME legal standing as her.

Court fees for a C/100 application run to around £215 (if you are on a low income then you might get a reduced rate) and mediation can cost around £80 (Shop around here!  Also if she doesnt go to mediation (Which you need to do first) then you can have a No Show or Deadlock letter) - then you have the use of Solicitors/Barristers or a Mackenzie Friend if you want to use any of them.  Or, like a lot of us on here, you can choose to represent yourself as a Litigant in Person.

Drug and Alcohol tests are EXTREMELY expensive, so unless you have a previous record for Drugs/Alcohol then only allow the court to order you to have them done - dont do them just because your ex wants you to.  The cost for that can be around £600+ (Mine was literally just shy of £700 for Alcohol tests!! as she accused me of everything (and still is))

The one thing to keep in mind is that you are doing this for your son, not for you or her - the right of the relationship is with your son and not her - she will have to evidence (and prove) why you should not have access, but courts will normally always give some form of access.

Invis
 

Yes i am on the birth certificate.
So i have to try sort some mediation first? And if she doesnt Attend take it to court?
What happened was i went down to see some old friends as i have been pulling my hair out for weeks and family members told me to go see my friends as sitting here on a weekend is pointless.
Then a friend of hers must of text/rang her saying i was in my old hometown and thats when she asked for a drug test. I used to take drugs when i was younger. But the first time i saw my son in a scan i stopped everything and she knows that.
I came back yesterday and the police come round with a PIN as she rang the police for me texting asking how my son was.
She has made my life very difficult. Kicked me out of my home (which im still paying for some bills.. Trying to say look lets be civil) 
She used to shout and scream at me and when i raised my voice back she would ring the police.. even said i head butted her (which is complete rubbish) But everyone believes a sweet looking girl.
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#4
If she doesnt attend mediation then you get your C/100 signed as a "Deadlock" or "No Show" - you must attend mediation first its a requirement these days

Dont worry about going out with your mates - she has to prove her allegations in court - its not for you to prove your innocence. The hair strand test would actually prove you are innocent if you havent taken anything.

With regards to the Police, they will have records of everything that has happened - and the outcome - so that could be useful for you when/if she alleges Domestic Violence.

Keep a record of everything - and remember - your doing this for your kid and not for her/you.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
Reply
#5
(05-09-2017, 10:54 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: If she doesnt attend mediation then you get your C/100 signed as a "Deadlock" or "No Show" - you must attend mediation first its a requirement these days

Dont worry about going out with your mates - she has to prove her allegations in court - its not for you to prove your innocence.  The hair strand test would actually prove you are innocent if you havent taken anything.

With regards to the Police, they will have records of everything that has happened - and the outcome - so that could be useful for you when/if she alleges Domestic Violence.

Keep a record of everything - and remember - your doing this for your kid and not for her/you.

Okay, so today im going to look into mediation.
Thank you for your time! Really appreciate it!
 You're a superstar  Angel
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