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deeply concerned
#1
HI All

Hope to gather some better idea of what my rights are in regards to my ex partners new boyfriend.

In a nutshell my partner of 15 years asked me to leave last month, she told me she didn't love me etc etc

a few days later she informs me that she had found an ex ( from 20 years ago) whom she had thought was dead on facebook and they had been chatting/flirting for a few weeks, and that she had always loved him etc

She advised me that he is dying ( I also know for a fact that he was a heavy heroin and crack cocaine user in the past) but do not believe he is using now etc

anyhow two weeks back when I picked up my four year old for a visit he informed me that this man had moved in and was now living in the house ( this would have been two weeks after I left) I have two older boys aged 13 and 17 who were obviously to scared or worried about telling me.

She has still to this day not told me he is living there. She knows I know as I have seen him when picking up my kids

my questions really are based around am I entitled to know anything about this man, especially if he is dying ( I have seen him and he definitely looks like he is- weighs about 3 stone etc)

also are there any laws or stuff regarding whether she can leave my youngest child in this new mans care etc, also in regards to helping him get dressed or any of that other stuff that would worry a father etc

any advice would be fantastic

Best Regards

V
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#2
You can do a Sarah's Law application I believe to check certain things and you can also do a prohibited steps order to ensure he isn't making decisions on your kids
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
Well...the "sarahs Law application" is actually called the Child Sex Offenders Disclosure Scheme.

You will only get this to go forward if you actually believe that urgent action is required due to immediate/imminent risk of harm to a child (or any other person) by way of a risk assessment carried out by your local police.
So one of the questions inevitably you will be asked, is that question, do you think your children are in imminent danger or harm?

Secondly  you should note that the presumption to disclose under the CSODS, will only happen in cases where the subject has convictions for child sex offenses. That is it. Nothing more.
You will not gain any information about his criminal background , whether he pushed drugs or was violent to anyone, just wanted to make you aware that you may only get a limited bit of information.

I urge caution on making a PSO to try and block him from making decisions. You would need just cause to make this PSO and simply for example ... hes got buck teeth and smells funny, will get you nowhere. you would have to have specific just reasons for the order to go through.
He is responsible in certain conditions to do what is reasonable  for the the purpose of safeguarding or promoting the child's welfare, if the child is in his care.

What I am trying to say is, in law you cant delve into someones past without just cause, reason or permission.  And you cannot block them out of your child's life if you don't have good reason too when they have been enabled by the other person with PR.  In a nutshell, the court must be satisfied that making an order is better for the child than not making an order at all.

Tread very carefully my friend should you open a giant can of worms you cannot close or take back
Advice & opinions on this forum are offered informally, without any assumption of liability. Use your own judgment. Seek advice of a qualified and insured professional.
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