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Parental Alienation
#1
Hi, I believe my ex partner is brainwashing my children and and one by one they have all (I have 3) said they no longer want to stay with me and now no longer want to talk to even talk to me on phone. 

I have been messaging my ex once a day to ask if any of the kids want to talk to me and she has now told me not to contact her.

I am not sure what the best plan of action is and would appreciate any advice.

Thanks, in advance
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#2
(06-09-2017, 03:37 PM)monkeystandards Wrote: Hi, I believe my ex partner is brainwashing my children and and one by one they have all (I have 3) said they no longer want to stay with me and now no longer want to talk to even talk to me on phone. 

I have been messaging my ex once a day to ask if any of the kids want to talk to me and she has now told me not to contact her.

I am not sure what the best plan of action is and would appreciate any advice.

Thanks, in advance

How old are the children, and if between 10 and 14, do you live in England, Scotland, Wales or Ireland?
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
(06-09-2017, 05:00 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(06-09-2017, 03:37 PM)monkeystandards Wrote: Hi, I believe my ex partner is brainwashing my children and and one by one they have all (I have 3) said they no longer want to stay with me and now no longer want to talk to even talk to me on phone. 

I have been messaging my ex once a day to ask if any of the kids want to talk to me and she has now told me not to contact her.

I am not sure what the best plan of action is and would appreciate any advice.

Thanks, in advance

How old are the children, and if between 10 and 14, do you live in England, Scotland, Wales or Ireland?

The Children are 6, 9 and 13. The 13-year-old isn't biologically mine. His dad died at a young age and we have always seen each other as father and son.

Forgot to mention that i am in England.
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#4
(06-14-2017, 07:11 AM)monkeystandards Wrote:
(06-09-2017, 05:00 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(06-09-2017, 03:37 PM)monkeystandards Wrote: Hi, I believe my ex partner is brainwashing my children and and one by one they have all (I have 3) said they no longer want to stay with me and now no longer want to talk to even talk to me on phone. 

I have been messaging my ex once a day to ask if any of the kids want to talk to me and she has now told me not to contact her.

I am not sure what the best plan of action is and would appreciate any advice.

Thanks, in advance

How old are the children, and if between 10 and 14, do you live in England, Scotland, Wales or Ireland?

The Children are 6, 9 and 13. The 13-year-old isn't biologically mine. His dad died at a young age and we have always seen each other as father and son.

Forgot to mention that i am in England.

You are in the same situation as I am, with regard to the fact there was a 3rd child in my case in the same situation. Your only way forward with regard to that child is to apply to Court, for Permission to make an applicaiton for PR under "Father by Assumption" regulations. Without that you have no legal standing. With PR you will get Contact. Of course your ex could just agree to you having contact, as the only person with PR for that child.

Normally its when a child is 10 that "Wishes and Desires" come into it, and a Court would not take your ex partners word for it. It will involve a Social Worker of Cafcass Officer, having meetings with the child without any parent present (normally at school). They would report their findings to the Court, as well as there Expert Opinion on if contact should happen.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#5
(06-14-2017, 09:48 AM)MarkR Wrote: Normally its when a child is 10 that "Wishes and Desires" come into it, and a Court would not take your ex partners word for it. It will involve a Social Worker of Cafcass Officer, having meetings with the child without any parent present (normally at school). They would report their findings to the Court, as well as there Expert Opinion on if contact should happen.

Out of curiosity as thankfully I am not in this situation, but knowing my ex I believe this is a potential as they grow older that she will at least try to manipulate their minds.
 
When the Social worker meets with the children are they adequately trained from your experience and of users on here, to spot when a child even without a parent around is repeating a script rather than talking from the heart? I’d imagine it would be a hugely worrying from a child’s perspective to go against the will of their mother when emotional blackmail and manipulation has occurred
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#6
Thank you for your information MarkR. I have been walking on eggshells since we separated and reluctant to rock the boat too much. Now I have nothing to lose with the claims that none of them want to see or speak to me.

I would also be interested in your opinion of whether the social worker is adequately trained when it comes to parental alienation. I know CAFCASS announced earlier this year that it was a problem and they would do all they could to recognize it.
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