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Contact and DNA Test
#1
Hi

My ex has recently stopped me seeing the children and gone to the CMS to apply for more money which I can't really afford.

I know one child is not mine I only met my ex when she was 3 yet applied for maintence even though there was an existing case against her real dad. I'm also in doubt about the other 3 children I have but can't really afford the DNA tests to make sure.

Also taking here to court paying for a solicitor would leave me nothing to live off.

What do I do I need help?
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#2
Hi Byron

Why has she stopped you seeing the kids?

Start mediation process immediately - contact CAB who will direct you to mediation company... you may get free or reduced price if low income
Your objective is to get an agreement with ex on access to your kids
Mediation will probably fail but you can then go to court
Your objective is to get an agreement with her on access to your kids - as mediation failed the judge will help... the ex simply cannot deny you access to your kids
You don't need solictor to do this
If you self represent at court (many on here have done it) it costs 215GBP ... again maybe less or free in some instances I think ... not sure
Court can order a DNA test on all the kids
She CANNOT apply to CMS for you to pay for kids that are not yours

CMS is means tested - so you should be able to afford it IF (and its big IF) she tells them what you are earning and that is correct .... if she lies you contact CMS - its all evidence based so she can't claim you are millionaire if you are not!
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#3
She stopped me all because I couldn't have them one morning and she offered to have them in the afternoon anyway for a party and keep them overnight as a one off. I ended up with lots of calls and texts that day and my door kicked many times which the police gave her a PIM to.
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#4
So basically no valid reason... you didnt / couldnt fit in with her plans at very short notice and she wants to punish you using the kids as weapons


Advice above still stands

DO NOT react to her ... the quickest way of stopping contact with your kids is calling her out, being aggressive etc etc... remain calm and start mediation
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#5
(07-07-2017, 10:26 AM)byrondjones Wrote: Hi

My ex has recently stopped me seeing the children and gone to the CMS to apply for more money which I can't really afford.

I know one child is not mine I only met my ex when she was 3 yet applied for maintence even though there was an existing case against her real dad. I'm also in doubt about the other 3 children I have but can't really afford the DNA tests to make sure.

Also taking here to court paying for a solicitor would leave me nothing to live off.

What do I do I need help?

Only the natural father is required to pay Child Support.

You need to inform CMS, who will order a DNA Test. They might require you to pay for it, and then refund if it shows your not the father.
However, in some cases, they will fund it, but if it shows you are the father, they will then seek to recover the costs from you.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#6
(07-07-2017, 10:56 AM)LTCDAD Wrote: CMS is means tested - so you should be able to afford it IF (and its big IF) she tells them what you are earning and that is correct .... if she lies you contact CMS - its all evidence based so she can't claim you are millionaire if you are not!

Not essentially true.

The charge is based on gross taxable income for the previous tax year.
Therefore this includes overtime, bonus, company car and other items under HMRC rules that are classed as income.

Therefore, you may have earned  a whacking 25K in overtime last year. But these year its fallen off a cliff!
You would be paying your charge, on the gross wages plus the 25K bonus...THIS year....so if you earned 30K basic add the 25K and you pay your charge based on 55K.
This year no overtime, earning 30K only...your charge is based on 55K not 30K therefore its not in anyway means tested.

You can even have gotten made redundant, taken a job that was all you could find, at 24.5% less than your previous salary, and you would STILL be charged at 55K!!

Theoretically means tested?...nah dont see it...Massively unjust...oh yes!

(07-07-2017, 12:23 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(07-07-2017, 10:26 AM)byrondjones Wrote: Hi

My ex has recently stopped me seeing the children and gone to the CMS to apply for more money which I can't really afford.

I know one child is not mine I only met my ex when she was 3 yet applied for maintence even though there was an existing case against her real dad. I'm also in doubt about the other 3 children I have but can't really afford the DNA tests to make sure.

Also taking here to court paying for a solicitor would leave me nothing to live off.

What do I do I need help?

Only the natural father is required to pay Child Support.

You need to inform CMS, who will order a DNA Test. They might require you to pay for it, and then refund if it shows your not the father.
However, in some cases, they will fund it, but if it shows you are the father, they will then seek to recover the costs from you.

When I went for paternity test, I paid upfront, it was about £250. If It was not mine, I would have been refunded and the case would have been dropped.
If it was mine then tough luck...welcome to 20 years of purgatory!!
Advice & opinions on this forum are offered informally, without any assumption of liability. Use your own judgment. Seek advice of a qualified and insured professional.
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#7
Hi,

In my case the paternity test was court ordered. Judge decided to split the costs for it between the parties. Mum was on legal aid so they claimed this against that and I still paid somewhere between 250-300 eggs for this to be done.

But my advise would be to first of all settle the paternity for all the children you have doubt with. It is nothing worse for you and the child to find out in 20years you are not dad.

So it may mean dry bread for a couple of months but you need reassurance that those kids are yours if you have doubt.

Once this is settled take it from there how to move forward with contact.

F.
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