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Wife walked out, but now....
#1
Hi there,
I'm new to the scene so apologies for any mistakes.
My wife of just 7 months walked out of 4 children a month ago, and the day she left sent a text saying "Promise me that you'll make a new life for you and son, and be happy", the thing now 4 weeks later she wants access to him.
I am registered severely sight impaired and have Hydrocephalus+Spina Bifida and he is my only child, and I'm worried that if I allow her access to him, I will not see him again. She has already admitted she is seeing someone else, and has asked if I'm seeing someone! After 2 failed marriages on my side what does she think I am? Social Services are happy with me looking after little man, and have already said if they thought there was any danger, they wouldn't have allowed me to keep him!
She's using the disability card against me, by saying she wants him in her care as I'm going blind and I will not be able to look after him in the future. She also wants me to allow her to have him for a few days to go to a family wedding, and has already said her new partner will be there, but I don't feel safe in allowing this? Are these feelings normal?
What's the next best step I can take?

Many thanks in advance....

Dave
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#2
(07-12-2017, 06:34 AM)mw0dcm Wrote: Hi there,
I'm new to the scene so apologies for any mistakes.
My wife of just 7 months walked out of 4 children a month ago, and the day she left sent a text saying "Promise me that you'll make a new life for you and son, and be happy", the thing now 4 weeks later she wants access to him.
I am registered severely sight impaired and have Hydrocephalus+Spina Bifida and he is my only child, and I'm worried that if I allow her access to him, I will not see him again. She has already admitted she is seeing someone else, and has asked if I'm seeing someone! After 2 failed marriages on my side what does she think I am? Social Services are happy with me looking after little man, and have already said if they thought there was any danger, they wouldn't have allowed me to keep him!
She's using the disability card against me, by saying she wants him in her care as I'm going blind and I will not be able to look after him in the future. She also wants me to allow her to have him for a few days to go to a family wedding, and has already said her new partner will be there, but I don't feel safe in allowing this? Are these feelings normal?
What's the next best step I can take?

Many thanks in advance....

Dave

I think you have a case to go to Court on Urgent Application on form C100, for a Child Arrangements Order.
It will cost £215, but can be reduced on low income, free if your on some Benefits, so phone your local County Court about this.

State her abandonment and you want an order made saying the Child Lives with you.
Exhibit the text message if  you still have it as evidence.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Hi There,
Many thanks for the reply! I'm on my way to the court this morning to get divorce papers so I'm all for that form also. I am in receipt of the benefits that waver the fee of costs for divorce, as I was for my first divorce (yeah I was mad enough to do it twice!) But the only difference now is I have a child.
She is very adamant that because of my sight issues that I will not be able to look after our son. I still have the texts that she originally sent on the day she left, as I do not delete any messages.

I have spoken to Social Services this morning about the situation, and they basically turned around and said that they saw me as no threat or danger to our son and that I am capable of looking after him, and add I have support from friends here also I'm a no risk case.

I will keep you informed with what happens...

Dave
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#4
Hi all!
Well, I've been given some more information on my journey through do I/don't I? It seems both my soon to be ex wifes new partner suffers with depression and now she has been diagnosed and prescribed pills for this condition also. I'm open minded to mental health issues, but when it involves my 18 month old son, I don't think I could allow her to have him.
Has anyone else had experience with this? And also should I let SS and my health visitor know about this new turn of events?

Many thanks,

Dave
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#5
Word it as you'd like to support them more by relieving them of the stress of a young child. That's what I'd do
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#6
Hi There,
My ex wife to be as realised that she won't be able to have our son full-time somehow? But I've told her that at least she knows where our son is, and he is looked after. The strangest thing is that he has gained weight and done now stuff since the whole episode. I have told her from day one that once he is old enough I wouldn't stop him looking for his Mom.
The one thing I've never done and will never do, is bad mouth her to our son, as she is and as I've always told her, she is his mother, whatever she's done.

Many thanks for any other hints, tips, etc....

Dave
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