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Step Father Parental Responsibility
#1
Morning all,

So a few weeks ago I get a letter in the post saying that my ex and her husband have put in the paperwork for him to be given parental responsibility of my little boy. In the letter they have said that I will not loose any of my rights and that I will still be on the birth certificate etc and that if I don't agree they will take it to court and than apply for me to pay all the fees.

So I have a few questions from this.

1) if I don't agree, which I don't and they do take it to court, will they win and will I end up paying a hefty price?
2) Will they be able to move abroad without my say
3) Will they be able to change his last name (they have already changed it at his school and everything else they can using her new partners new last name)
4) God for bid anything happens to his mother, if I signed it would he end up with my son?

It has come out of nowhere so I have a feeling she is planning to do something without telling me and needs me to sign this to do it. My little boy has lived with them for 4years now and he does see my son everyday and he calls him dad so im not 100% against signing it I just dont want to be left with my pants down.

Cheers
Chris
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#2
(07-21-2017, 09:21 AM)chris.jones10 Wrote: Morning all,

So a few weeks ago I get a letter in the post saying that my ex and her husband have put in the paperwork for him to be given parental responsibility of my little boy. In the letter they have said that I will not loose any of my rights and that I will still be on the birth certificate etc and that if I don't agree they will take it to court and than apply for me to pay all the fees.

So I have a few questions from this.

1) if I don't agree, which I don't and they do take it to court, will they win and will I end up paying a hefty price?
2) Will they be able to move abroad without my say
3) Will they be able to change his last name (they have already changed it at his school and everything else they can using her new partners new last name)
4) God for bid anything happens to his mother, if I signed it would he end up with my son?

It has come out of nowhere so I have a feeling she is planning to do something without telling me and needs me to sign this to do it. My little boy has lived with them for 4years now and he does see my son everyday and he calls him dad so im not 100% against signing it I just dont want to be left with my pants down.

Cheers
Chris

They can apply all they want to get their costs, it will never happen.

In this case, they are asking to be given something, so they have no claim againsed you if you decide to defend it.

From my understanding, they can not change a name without your consent.

Is there any evidance that they might move abroad?

If he was given PR, then he is in a lot stronger position to keep you child if anything happened to your ex.

Untill a Child Arrangments Order is made, you both have PR and as such are on the same legal standing.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Don't sign it.
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#4
Hi,

My advise would also be to try to defend this and as of costs I see this similar to what Mark has already mentioned.

If you end up in court you need to advise the court of the pressure they have applied on you.

It is not legitimate to say sign or I will make you pay for it!

The court will involve Cafcass in such a decision and they in return should look at the reasons for them wanting him to have PR.

In any case they must present strong reasons for a court to award him PR.

Your position will be that this is not required as your are available to make decisions for your child and that if granted it would create an imbalance towards mothers position leading to potentially more conflict which can not be in the child's interests.

A change like that makes in my view only sense if the biological father is absent and important decisions can not be reached. Even then you would need to strip the biological father of his PR.

And even if the court was to consider a change you then need to argue that he does not need all the parts of PR and only medical issues - maybe.

Don't sign this!!!

F.
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#5
What they want is to have their cake and eat it. Parental responsibility for step dad and child maintenance from you.

Pretty clear really as if they wanted to free you entirely they’d be asking for step dad to adopt him and thus free you from child maintenance which they aren’t doing.
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#6
Cheers for all of your replies. I have told her I am not signing it and this is her reply

"And who has advised you not to sign it, no solicitor would have advised you not to. Im happy to take it to court but we will also be seeking for you to pay the costs so if your happy with that then fine"

"you clearly do not have "xxxxx"' best interests at heart because, if you did, you would realise that if something were to happen to "xxxxx" and I wasn't contactable, there would be no one here with any abilityto make a decision on "xxxxx" receieing medical care. With this in mind, as you have no intention of supporting "xxxxx"and understanding his needs, you will no longer be phoning him or seeing him. Unfortunately you have made this decision yourself based on your jealousy of (her new husband) and egotistical attitude towards Fatherhood"

"you may want to put aside additional money to cover this as my solicitor has said the process could cost in access of £2000. See you in court!"

This is the exact response I was expecting from her. Any time she doesn't get her own way she stops all contact between me and my son.

If this does go to court. Will I have to attend and fight my corner as to why I have refused to sign the paperwork?
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#7
(08-17-2017, 08:01 AM)chris.jones10 Wrote: Cheers for all of your replies. I have told her I am not signing it and this is her reply

"And who has advised you not to sign it, no solicitor would have advised you not to. Im happy to take it to court but we will also be seeking for you to pay the costs so if your happy with that then fine"

"you clearly do not have lucas' best interests at heart because, if you did, you would realise that if something were to happen to Lucas and I wasn't contactable, there would be no one here with any abilityto make a decision on Lucas receieing medical care. With this in mind, as you have no intention of supporting Lucas and understanding his needs, you will no longer be phoning him or seeing him. Unfortunately you have made this decision yourself based on your jealousy of (her new husband) and egotistical attitude towards Fatherhood"

"you may want to put aside additional money to cover this as my solicitor has said the process could cost in access of £2000. See you in court!"

This is the exact response I was expecting from her. Any time she doesn't get her own way she stops all contact between me and my son.

If this does go to court. Will I have to attend and fight my corner as to why I have refused to sign the paperwork?

First of all, if she instructs a Solicitor, its at her cost.

The way how a Court will view this, is she wants something, and you are in your right to object to it.

In my situaiton, my children live with me, but while she can only have Supervised contact, she still has the right to give consent for Medical Treatment.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#8
You do not have to sign anything you do not wish to.

Going to court is a way of getting a decision made without your signature. Your right not to sign it is still protected it’s just that someone else (judge) will make a decision on the matter of giving stepdad PR.

Your costs shouldn’t be that great as you more or less just need to state your objections to it and why.

The reply from her is very good evidence of the pressure being applied to you. It will also be good evidence should you go to court to enforce contact.
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#9
Don’t sign anything, she is one crazy woman. Let the courts see how mental she is and keep your head.

Don’t sign anything, she is one crazy woman. Let the courts see how mental she is and keep your head.
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