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Left without consent
#1
Hi all,

Ex and I have no residence or court orders at all, I have PR and have been seeing my daughter twice per week, every week since 6 months old, she is now almost 3. We have a verbal agreement following failed mediation a year ago. Ex holds me rigidly to this agreement, but does as she pleases and disappears with our daughter whenever she feels like it.

Ex sent me an brief email late in may saying she she would be taking our daughter around the north of England for work, for 3 weeks and then would be going to the United States for a month immediately afterwards. Ex said she would like to sit down and have a sensible conversation about her trips and explain what her movements were but then proceeded to say nothing and refuse to communicate at all, for weeks and left without consent or saying a word.

I know Her trip To the states was not a holiday, ex was taking her friend to look after our daughter so she could attend a full time course in California for 8 days. I strongly suspect that after this course is complete she will again engage in activities that her tourist visa doesn't permit as she she has done twice before in the states. Ex takes a film camera and is filming for her own commercial project which you are required to have successfully applied for a valid iVisa to have permission to do. Without it she risks being deported and will certainly have no insurance if caught following an accident. Twice before ex has done this with our young child driving hundreds of miles filming in prisons etc with our daughter but without the correct documents to work legitimately. I couldn't care less if she did this on her own but it's completely wrong to drag our young daughter along too. So because ex refused to confirm what she was doing for weeks in America, or talk at all for two months,I couldn't consent to the trip and didn't.

So I went to a solicitor who suggested I apply for a prohibitive steps order. I spent £1000 with a solicitor who then seemed to back track hugely when I said I'd like to apply for the order one week before Ex's departure date. Solicitor didn't want to touch the working illegally without the ivisa, or the fact that last time ex went to the states she extended her stay by one month without any conversation at all, but seemed to be suggesting that as our daughter was very young and had not started overnights with me properly yet the court may decide our daughter was better off going on the trip with her mother rather than staying with me and grandparents.

Given it was going to cost £thousands more to have an emergency hearing I decided to give up as I couldn't afford to bring the ex to court just to explain what she was doing for a month in the states. There seemed to be no penalty for her being completely willing to board a plane without consent and forcing an emergency hearing just to find out her movements, and could very easily have just printed out a booking for a camp site in America, presented that as a holiday and then proceeded to do something totally different as soon as she'd left. So the need for consent seems to be a complete joke as no one cares about it, no one asks for it and it seems it's only enforceable if I've got upwards of £5k to burn.

And as a little leaving gift the ex went to down to her local police station, showed them my upset text messages and emails that were not abusive or threatening in anyway and made a complaint about me for harassment. Clearly she did this to shut me up then boarded a plane days later. I got a bill for £1k the old bill on the phone to me too while I've no idea where my daughter is or when she's coming back.

Thanks for reading...
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#2
HI,

I'm afraid to say that I think all you can do for now, is fill in a C100 and get a child arrangement order in place. However, I've got a suspicion that your ex is going to attempt to get legal aid based on the allegation of harassment? I'm not legally trained and don't fully know how the system works but that seems to be the trend.

Don't send any other texts apart from very brief, no more than once per day (others might suggest less) attempts to organise contact to your daughter upon their return. No emotion in the texts, be business like. Keep a record of these and any response, lack of response. I keep my phone in my pocket, out of view with video recording during handover and just state the date and time before meeting, this is to protect me from false allegations being made as this has happened in the past, but you need to deliver this type of evidence carefully to a court for it to work.

Even with a child arrangement order in place, you will find that the resident parent will typically be allowed to leave the country for no longer than one month without needing to obtain consent from you. Frustrating, but that's how it goes.

Good luck
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#3
(07-29-2017, 12:30 AM)MrJohn Wrote: HI,

I'm afraid to say that I think all you can do for now, is fill in a C100 and get a child arrangement order in place. However, I've got a suspicion that your ex is going to attempt to get legal aid based on the allegation of harassment? I'm not legally trained and don't fully know how the system works but that seems to be the trend.

Don't send any other texts apart from very brief, no more than once per day (others might suggest less) attempts to organise contact to your daughter upon their return. No emotion in the texts, be business like. Keep a record of these and any response, lack of response. I keep my phone in my pocket, out of view with video recording during handover and just state the date and time before meeting, this is to protect me from false allegations being made as this has happened in the past, but you need to deliver this type of evidence carefully to a court for it to work.

Even with a child arrangement order in place, you will find that the resident parent will typically be allowed to leave the country for no longer than one month without needing to obtain consent from you. Frustrating, but that's how it goes.  

Good luck

I think this is one where the member needs to get down his local CAB, who will be able to get him free 30 min advise from a Local Solicitor.

In terms of Legal Aid, depends if its England, Scotland, Wales or Ireland, but in England it would only cover a None Molestation Application.
If that results in an Order it would carry on.
However, if it does not run legal aid ends.
If an out of Court Undertaking is the outcome, Legal Aid stops as the person now has the required protection in law to stop it happen.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
Thanks for the response guys,

There's no way ex is going for legal aid as she's a multi millionaire , rather her father is and is simply trying to get rid of me as I am not a millionaire, ex wants me out of her way for good.

I have said nothing to the ex for over two weeks while knowing my two year old daughter had been on a 12 hour flight and been on the care of someone else for at least a week while her mother does unpaid work. I understand the game she is playing though.

Ex sent me an email from abroad having been away for 10 days without contact. She attempted to justify going to the police before she left but did not say where they were. I have replied only asking her to confirm our daughter is safe and well and confirm her return date and when I will make contact with our daughter. Ex will not reply to this and is waiting for me to get cross and upset so she can run back to the police and try and get me charged with harrassment. But I will not play her game, instead wait one more week for a reply then communicate only through a solicitor. It's expensive but I've seen my daughter 4 times in 9 weeks with no idea where she is or is returning home and I've got the police hassling me for trying to ge a father.

The law is a joke

Good luck guys and thanks
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#5
Yep, sounds so familiar...

The good news is, the courts don't think that needlessly removing a father from a child's life is a positive move. There is a given amount of contact that most of us have with our kids, and the courts ought to award you that. It's done via a child arrangement order form c100 to apply. I noticed you mentioned failed mediation? You might need to get a letter from the mediator to confirm it wasn't successful before applying.

You're doing everything right so far. Keep cool, as you are. No ammunition to be handed over!! You might even be able to get satisfactory contact to your daughter without seeing a solicitor, but if you've got the money then use it.

Best of luck
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