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Advice please
#1
Hi everyone,

Some advice would be much appreciated as to my next move.

Yesterday I had contact with my two boys and it was the first unsupervised visit. Everything went well until the journey home when my youngest soiled himself (He is 11). We stopped at the nearest Macdonalds and cleaned up as best we could. By this time it being nearly 5PM all the shops were shut.

My ex wife has told me he has medical issues but never what they are, I have asked for his medical file from his GP to try and find out as she refuses to tell me but until then I am in the dark. 

I only have contact with my sons for 6 hours a month on the last sunday of the month. I feel that she should of 

a) told me that he sometimes has accidents
b) maybe provided a change of clothes 

Can anyone advise where I stand on this? I can see if I go out and buy clothes for him that they will never come back, and contrary to what my ex believes, I am not rich.

Many thanks

Rob
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#2
Generally you are responsible for buying any clothes in your time but you also have the right to keep them at your home.

For future possible accidents I’d buy a cheap tracksuit bottoms and some cheap underpants or something for emergencies that you could afford to lose. Would be a good idea to keep them in the car.

I think you may have a right to see his medical records . Someone will confirm this.
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#3
(07-31-2017, 02:49 PM)Hazy Wrote: Generally you are responsible for buying any clothes in your time but you also have the right to keep them at your home.

For future possible accidents I’d buy a cheap tracksuit bottoms  and some cheap underpants or something for emergencies that you could afford to lose.  Would be a good idea to keep them in the car.

I think you may have a right to see his medical records . Someone will confirm this.

Re Medical Records, you might want to use our template letter, http://www.separateddads.co.uk/letter-te...ities.html.

Are you only seeing the child 6 hours on a Sunday by choice? This is far short of what you would get normally.
If you can not answer without idenitfying anyone invovled in your case, drop me a PM by clicking on my ID, and ill give you an opinion on if you have a chance of increasing your contact to a more normal amount.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
Doesn't every person with PR have rights over educational and medical choices?
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#5
(07-31-2017, 04:22 PM)Thanatos Wrote: Doesn't every person with PR have rights over educational and medical choices?

Yes they do, but not all School Staff or GP Rectiptionists know that. Our template letters refers them to the law.

In my own case, I had a Court Order putting my 6 year old daughter in my care every 2 weeks, from school on a Friday.

On her joining the school my ex as the Resident Parent then, had put down who could collect the children. I am sure you can guess what is coming next!!!

I had to produce a Court Order, for my name to be added to the list, but then I was held up one day, so I phoned to say my brother would collect her.

They decided they had to check with my ex, so I pointed out to them that its not down to my ex, and if she says no and shes not handed to xxxx that the Police will be told the school is holding her in breach of a Court Order, as well as a C79 being filed as she is stopping lawfull contact.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#6
I make the fatal mistake of assuming people in authority know the right thing to do.........
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#7
(07-31-2017, 08:03 PM)Thanatos Wrote: I make the fatal mistake of assuming people in authority know the right thing to do.........

Many people confuse authority and the power of efficiency, as if the first role of people with responsibility is to take decisions, command effectively and so exercise power.
But their role first of all is to be a person to whom others can turn to help and advice, to provide security, to affirm, to support, to encourage and most of all to guide.

Sadly

This isnt so

And a quote from one of my fave comedians George Carlin

I have as much authority as the pope himself.
I just dont have as many people who believe in it
Advice & opinions on this forum are offered informally, without any assumption of liability. Use your own judgment. Seek advice of a qualified and insured professional.
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#8
Yes, if you have PR, you have a right to see copies of medical records. I get an updated copy of mine from my kid's GP every few months for a tenner a time.

Ref the clothes, when he is in your care, he is your responsibility, so you do need to provide clothes for him. The supermarkets and primark all do some cheap clothes. I know it's frustrating when stuff doesn't come back, but you just need to accept it - kids (rightly) see stuff you buy them as belonging to them, so it helps them feel more settled if they can move stuff between homes freely.
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#9
(08-01-2017, 07:27 AM)marwood Wrote: Yes, if you have PR, you have a right to see copies of medical records.  I get an updated copy of mine from my kid's GP every few months for a tenner a time.

Ref the clothes, when he is in your care, he is your responsibility, so you do need to provide clothes for him.     The supermarkets and primark all do some cheap clothes. I know it's frustrating when stuff doesn't come back, but you just need to accept it - kids (rightly) see stuff you buy them as belonging to them, so it helps them feel more settled if they can move stuff between homes freely.

Just to add on to this, my Children used to come from school on a Friday, in uniform what was sent home ready for Monday. Therefore, I used to lose an outfit every contact. What I started to do, is get cheap things from charity shops, just for them to travel home in.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#10
Another tip if you only see your kids in daytime and not overnight is always encourage them to go to the toilet before a car journey.

If you were out and about all day rather than at your home most cafes , all pubs and some supermarkets have toilets.
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