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Advice and points for a final Child Arrangement Order
#1
So after a few hearings and a few adjournments at family court for a Child Arrangement Order for access to my children with a very awkward controlling ex who previously made unfounded allegations (which the court also did not believe) I am on my way to getting a long term Order, having just had short term ones with minimal contact.
 
Is there certain things I just try to get in the Order to help me in the long run? I am sure there are other people who have had awkward ex partners and need certain things in there to help them out?
i.e. ways certain things have been worded? To cover decent contact plans which can be variable but also leasing with each other about plans for the children etc.
 
Being a shift worker my self makes matters more complicated for access and such as not being able to be no specific as saying each weekend etc.
 
Thank you in advance
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#2
hi mate
i went through same thing
false acusations of dv, police werent stupid so i wasnt arrested as her stories didnt match and she kept contradicting herself .

anyway this led to me not having contact with my son 4 months....then due to his age and gap of contact it was ordered to be supervised at a contact centre an hour for 8 weeks. then phased increase at home of 4 hrs every sat, then 6, then 8 , then 1 overnight night for approx 3 months till final hearing

eventually final hearing took place after 9 months since application. despite all her lies/no evidence of any wrong doing at all against me, i showed i was able to be a better role model to my kid.  I work so can provide a stable environment, i am a positive role model, i am educated (compared to mother who barely spoke english). But because the mother is not working and scrounging off tax payer, it was decided that child should live with her as she is the "primary carer" despite her dragging him through hell for her own gain, and i have contact around my work as i work shifts. mornings/afternoons. i got every weekend pickup friday/drop off sund or monday am depending on shift

My advice is think of everything otherwise like me you will end up going back to court for a) breaches and b) to vary an order where the judge left it to mutual agreement/assumption but knowing full well there is no such thing otherwise we wouldnt be in court.

so cover things like
a) schedule of contact. pickup day and time , drop of day and time (submit shift patterns in position statement of necessary), and base it on your shifts so if working a mornings specify that when on morning which will be for example every 2 weeks, contact will be as follows, when on lates, it will be....
i was lucky that my shifts were fixed 2 weeks about so was quite easy to put on paper. weeks 1& 2 contact is
weeks 3&4 it is.......
b) Pickup location, drop of location. (its usually the parent getting contact that has to collect child, but if you have far to travel try to get her to meet you somewhere). if your weekly travel costs exceeds £10.00 to collect your child, this can be applied for a variation to Child maintenance people.
if you have conflict/false allegations then make it a neutral public place, lots of lighting/cctv to protect yourself.
b) special occasions birthdays, xmas, other religious festivals (depending on your religion), half day each is what i got (as long as child isnt at school that day in which case you will need to split time yourselfs)
If you want to authorise anyone else to collect/drop off child on your behalf ( i live with my parents so judge said that if i am working a certain shift paternal grand parent can collect child from mother (by the time they got back home i would be home so it made sense). it was to keep up to consistency of court order re times.
c) holidays (this cought me out). i have an order stating holidays are to be agreed in writing between us, 21 days notice, and details of flights destinations etc. this worked in my favour because if i didnt agree in writing to holiday she couldnt go abroad without my consent.
however i didnt clarify that school holidays should be split equally...i mentioned it at the time but the judge said im sure you can be adults about it to work it out between yourself and my useless solicitor didnt even speak up.
so holidays abroad to be agreed in writing (because if they want to take child abroad and the time clashes with your contact time then they need permission) otherwise if time doesnt clash then they can.

and if you are named on birth certificate, then you have automatic parental responsibility means you have the legal right to access your childs educational info/medical records
but this wasnt mentioned on my order i found it difficult to find out who my sons doc was as she gave me false information. 

so have a think and detail it as much as possible to tailor it to your needs.
Its difficult to get a balance between flexibility and consistency because if you leave it too flexible you will end up her not agreeing to any compromise with the excuse of "its not in the order so i dont have to do it" and if its too strict then  as you say you may have issues due to your varied shifts.  Courts do tend to understand and work around shift patterns though,. You may want to draft up a 4-6 week rotor yourself to submit to court or ask your employer to write it up for you. Same goes for annual leave. courts may find it hard to allocate holidays if your annual leave isnt consistent.

You can speak to your employer re flexible working/set shifts. although they are not legally obliged to do it.


good luck
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#3
(08-16-2017, 12:59 PM)DadNeedingAdvice Wrote: So after a few hearings and a few adjournments at family court for a Child Arrangement Order for access to my children with a very awkward controlling ex who previously made unfounded allegations (which the court also did not believe) I am on my way to getting a long term Order, having just had short term ones with minimal contact.
 
Is there certain things I just try to get in the Order to help me in the long run? I am sure there are other people who have had awkward ex partners and need certain things in there to help them out?
i.e. ways certain things have been worded? To cover decent contact plans which can be variable but also leasing with each other about plans for the children etc.
 
Being a shift worker my self makes matters more complicated for access and such as not being able to be no specific as saying each weekend etc.
 
Thank you in advance

The law is fair to both parents on this. You need to put a set timetable in place.

While the normal starting point is Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, that depends on your availability.

You need to work out a rota, based over the same number of week as your work.  Over that number of weeks, make sure your only asking for half the weekends, and look at asking for mid week visits or stay overs if distance is not an issue.

If you Private Message me your timetable, ill advise you on what a court would consider to be a reasonable plan.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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