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Denied access
#1
Bit of background Information I have two biological children and my partner has two from a previous relationship. I have basically helped raise them all as their father. After me and the mother relationship ended (messy but fairly amicably) I left the family home although my partner wanted me to stay but I felt it was the best for both parties. I'm currently living with family whilst looking for my own place.


Problems have arose over the amount of contact I get and money. Firstly I see my all the kids during her gym time Mon&weds 8-10 pm at the family home and then take two kids most of Fri and overnight Sat most weeks then up to Sun afternoon at my mothers . I'd like more but as the situation is that's all I can manage as I work full time. She will ask if I could look after them at short notice and if I can't becomes resentful and nasty. Secondly I always gave her 600£ a month whilst I lived there but obviously as I don't live there anymore and whilst I look for a new home and my own bills I can't pay as much. So I've enquired wat I should legally pay her child maintenance per month and my ex partner has told me I should be paying 100£ each child even the two kids that aren't mine legally. I've told her if I pay the other kids I want parental responsibility. As I want a say if things turn sour down the road.

She has now began changing access arrangements and haven't been in contact with the kids. So I've said we need to get times and days signed by a solicitor. She's stopped access until she receives court papers any advice?
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#2
(08-17-2017, 10:44 PM)Marky06 Wrote: Bit of background Information I have two biological children and my partner has two from a previous relationship. I have basically helped raise them all as their father. After me and the mother relationship ended (messy but fairly amicably) I left the family home although my partner wanted me to stay but I felt it was the best for both parties. I'm currently living with family whilst looking for my own place.


Problems have arose over the amount of contact I get and money. Firstly I see my all the kids during her gym time Mon&weds 8-10 pm at the family home and then take two kids most of Fri and overnight Sat most weeks then up to Sun afternoon at my mothers . I'd like more but as the situation is that's all I can manage as I work full time. She will ask if I could look after them at short notice and if I can't becomes resentful and nasty. Secondly I always gave her 600£ a month whilst I lived there but obviously as I don't live there anymore and whilst I look for a new home and my own bills I can't pay as much. So I've enquired wat I should legally pay her child maintenance per month and my ex partner has told me I should be paying 100£ each child even the two kids that aren't mine legally. I've told her if I pay the other kids I want parental responsibility. As I want a say if things turn sour down the road.

She has now began changing access arrangements and haven't been in contact with the kids.  So I've said we need to get times and days signed by a solicitor. She's stopped access until she receives court papers any advice?

Go to Court claiming exemption from Mediation, under the "Conduct, Other" rules.

State she is demanding money, or no contact.

Make it clear that you are happy to pay what is due, but she is requesting payment for 2 children who are not yours.

Regarding how much you should pay, check out http://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

As you can see, it does not give you a result per child. The percentage of your excess cash changes, depending on if 1, 2 or 3 or more children.

Even with PR for the other children (what the natural father as well as your ex might object to), you are not required to pay child support for them. The law only requires the natural father to pay child support, regardless of if they have PR or not.

You need to have PR, for a legal right for contact with the 2 that are not yours, if your ex will not let you see them.

In terms of contact (for your 2), it comes down to your avalialbity, but courts have it in 2 parts. Quality Time is term time weekends, so often the starting point is Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays.

Mid week visits are stay overs are normal, where shared care is workable.

Contact is you collecting the children, and going where you want, with who you want, then returning them back at the agreed time. Babysitting, for example whlie she goes to the Gym, would be in addition to this.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
One other question I forgot to raise would be the issue around legal aid. As I work and she doesn't I'd presume she would get legal aid and I wouldn't. It could cost me quite a bit to go through a court process all the time she knows it's hurting me financially.
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#4
(08-18-2017, 07:52 PM)Marky06 Wrote: One other question I forgot to raise would be the issue around legal aid. As I work and she doesn't I'd  presume she would get legal aid and I wouldn't. It could cost me quite a bit to go through a court process all the time she knows it's hurting me financially.

You can not longer get Legal Aid for Family Court Matters, unless there is a None Molestation Order made, where legal aid will then carry on to get the rest of the seperation things sorted out.

While if you can afford one, its best to have a Solicitor, most of us on here have Self Represented. If you need help wtih forms, then use the CAB, anyone you know or you can pay a Profesional McKenzie friend. However, I would not use McKenzie for Court, as on the day they might not even be allowed in with you.

Self Representing, you will pay £215 to apply to Court, and that is it regardless of how many hearings it takes. Your only costs will be if you need to obtain anything like Medical Records.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
So I went and seen a solicitor about my ex partner stopping my contact with my children. She has sent her a direct letter detailing that she needs to forward her proposals to her by Wednesday next week or she will issue proceedings against her. Just wondering when I put my proposal forward is there any little loopholes or details I need to make sure I put down that guarantees she sticks to it. As I'd rather get it right the first time ie pickups drop-off exceptions for holidays etc
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#6
(08-22-2017, 04:14 PM)Marky06 Wrote: So I went and seen a solicitor about my ex partner stopping my contact with my children. She has sent her a direct letter detailing that she needs to forward her proposals to her by Wednesday next week or she will issue proceedings against her. Just wondering when I put my proposal forward is there any little loopholes or details I need to make sure I put down that guarantees she sticks to it. As I'd rather get it right the first time ie pickups drop-off exceptions for holidays etc

What you can do, is if your Solicicitor and your ex (or her Solicitor) can do a deal, you can put it in Court as a Consent Order. This can cover Child Arrangements, drop of/collection and anything seperation related. However, I would only commit to Child Support as per the CMS Rate Payable, as if your income etc changes in a CMS case, its recalculated, and its also reviewed every year.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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