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Advice Required - Problems Dropping Off Children.
#1
A brief background into my situation is that I have been split with my ex for around 2 years. With in this time I have been messed around consistently with seeing my 2 girls. One of my girls is mine by blood, the other I have been caring as a father since she was 2 weeks old. My eldest (not blood related) is 6 and my youngest is 4.5 years old.

My most recent problem however is not seeing my girls it is dropping them off. I normally have my girls every weekend - picking them up at 11:30 on Saturday and dropping them off at 17:00 on Sunday. Recently though my ex will mess me around with times, so I end up being told last second I need to drop them at 20:00 (on a school night) or even the next day (on a school day, with no uniform, so I am basically enabling her in allowing my girls education being tarnished). The most recent one is telling me I have to have them for a whole week, last second again with no uniform and also living 45 minutes away from the school and their Mums. I am stuck at what to do, as my work is not going to allow this much longer and it is completely messing with all routine.

Please give me some advice to help stop this situation happening.

Thanks in advance.
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#2
(06-19-2016, 11:05 AM)wilsons077 Wrote: A brief background into my situation is that I have been split with my ex for around 2 years. With in this time I have been messed around consistently with seeing my 2 girls. One of my girls is mine by blood, the other I have been caring as a father since she was 2 weeks old. My eldest (not blood related) is 6 and my youngest is 4.5 years old.

My most recent problem however is not seeing my girls it is dropping them off. I normally have my girls every weekend - picking them up at 11:30 on Saturday and dropping them off at 17:00 on Sunday. Recently though my ex will mess me around with times, so I end up being told last second I need to drop them at 20:00 (on a school night) or even the next day (on a school day, with no uniform, so I am basically enabling her in allowing my girls education being tarnished). The most recent one is telling me I have to have them for a whole week, last second again with no uniform and also living 45 minutes away from the school and their Mums. I am stuck at what to do, as my work is not going to allow this much longer and it is completely messing with all routine.

Please give me some advice to help stop this situation happening.

Thanks in advance.

First of all, I know what your going through. In my own case, my ex had a daughter who's dad died about 6 months before we started seeing each other, so I brought her up for 7 years till we separated. My ex has created a 2 family situation since, except in the summer of 2014, when my own daughter had chicken pox, so she asked me to take her daughter instead on a 3 night trip to Norwich/Great Yarmouth.

As the law stands you can only take action on your own child. You need Mediation, and to get a "Deadlock" letter or letter confirming she does not attend, then court. Once a court order is in place, you can look at enforcement action if you can not return the child on time and you have to keep her for longer not by agreement.

The child who you brought up, you can apply via court for PR for, and then you have a legal standing for contact. Gaining PR in no way makes you liable for any child support in respect of her, is only the natural farther (but if your able to help on your terms I always advice it). You have a strong case for "farther by assumption", as your already seeing her by agreement, but gaining PR not only protects contact, but keeps you in the loop with schools and Medical Issues. Your ex could by agreement give you PR, you would need a Solicitor to draw up a legal document on this at a cost.

If your  current arrangements work then fine, but normally its at least Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, thus enabling day trips out, what you can not do currently. Midweek overnight stays can be part of this, even if just on the week they do not come. Also, normally you would get up to half school holidays, if you asked a court.

Under employment law your work does have to make allowances where practical. If your in a Trade Union, I would speck to a Union Rep about it.  If you do not have a Union, then I would ask for a meeting between your reporting Manager, and someone from HR. Explain the situation, and that your now going down the Legal Route to get it sorted, but formally ask they work with you while the process is ongoing. Perhaps there is a way you can make up time, assisting somewhere else in the business if you can not in your normal job.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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