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Phone calls with kids - what's appropriate
#1
Probably a common issue but be interested in peoples advice and opinions

On holiday with the kids and the ex phones to speak with them
The eldest lad puts the phone on speaker phone and comes to sit in same room as me
The ex is asking if the holiday is going well etc etc
Then she asks "Do you feel safe with daddy?"

WOW...   Sad

I stopped the call and wrote her an email explaining that she was out of line

Anyone else had similar or suggest what to do?
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#2
(08-28-2017, 03:42 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Probably a common issue but be interested in peoples advice and opinions

On holiday with the kids and the ex phones to speak with them
The eldest lad puts the phone on speaker phone and comes to sit in same room as me
The ex is asking if the holiday is going well etc etc
Then she asks "Do you feel safe with daddy?"

WOW...   Sad

I stopped the call and wrote her an email explaining that she was out of line

Anyone else had similar or suggest what to do?

Is the phone call part of a Court Order?
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
I've refused phone contact. Been lambasted by emails and Solicitors letters ever since. She gave son a mobile and sends it with him at week-ends. It is put away until he returns (I explained to him don't agree to phone calls and he has plenty of other computer games here and he's fine with it). Why on earth would I want her texting and phoning him on my time when she is blatantly alienating him?! She can track him on it too so I leave it at home.

Well done for responding to that. I'd call that part of alienating - asking if he feels safe. I've had a real battle over this but as it doesn't say in the court order I have to allow phone calls, I'm not. I just tell her I will contact her if there's an emergency. The later kid gets a full time mobile the better I reckon. I give son a spare basic mobile when he's with me, if we're out and about, for emergencies but it just has my number on and one of his friends.
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#4
No court order Mark... we contact the kids when they are with the other parent... normally once a day ... my ex will call up to 12 times a day if she thinks we are doing something / going away - as she is one of those who thinks i need her permission to enjoy time with my kids :-(

I'd had suspicions and small bit of evidence that her calls may not be as innocent as they should... kids always tell the truth ... my son has since told me, the ex asks these questions when he is with her and he doesn't like it ... i reassured him as long as he tells the truth it will all be OK.

This is just the first time (by chance) that he had the call on speaker phone and i could hear her try to manipulate him... my solicitor was copied in to the response to the ex

Charlie... he has his own mobile but doesn't like using it for anything apart from games so on this occasion he was on my phone - dread to think what is happening in the calls i don't hear

Where do you go with this information? What action can i take apart from telling her that I heard her and asking her to stop?
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
Reply


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