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Annual Leave
#1
Morning all, I wonder if anyone can help me on this one...

My ex and I are separated, she now lives with her boyfriend and my two children.

We separated 5 years ago and since then I have given every day of my annual leave from work to looking after the children (in other words I haven't had a day off in 5 years without having my children).

My ex is now insisting that as of next year I MUST have my children more throughout the year and insists I will HAVE to take unpaid leave to cover any extra dates she wants!

Can someone tell me if I have to do both of these things?
1) Do I have to give up all my holiday to help her out?
2) Do I have to take unpaid leave because she wants more holiday cover?

Hopefully someone can give me some good advice.

Cheers
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#2
1. No

2. No

If on benefits she will get 70% of her childcare costs met.

You are not there to be at her beck and call.
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#3
(08-30-2017, 08:45 AM). Nneilr007 Wrote: Morning all, I wonder if anyone can help me on this one...

My ex and I are separated, she now lives with her boyfriend and my two children.

We separated 5 years ago and since then I have given every day of my annual leave from work to looking after the children (in other words I haven't had a day off in 5 years without having my children).

My ex is now insisting that as of next year I MUST have my children more throughout the year and insists I will HAVE to take unpaid leave to cover any extra dates she wants!

Can someone tell me if I have to do both of these things?
1) Do I have to give up all my holiday to help her out?
2) Do I have to take unpaid leave because she wants more holiday cover?

Hopefully someone can give me some good advice.

Cheers

Contact only takes place at the time the Non Resident Parent wants it. No Court will force a Non Resident Parnet to have contact just because the other parent wants them to have it.

If you want it, you will get half the Quality Time, what is why the normal starting point is Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays.
If you do not get 6.5 weeks a year off work, then the normal is to ask for a week at Easter and Christmas, and 2 weeks (plus another weekend) in the summer.

Your ex might be entitled to help with Childcare, in the form of Working Tax Credit, but this will depend on how many hours both her and her new partner work, as well as their combined income.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
If she wants all that you have a case for shared residency where you do an equal amount of shared day to day care and thus can get child benefit and tax credits for one child if you have two children.

Let’s see how agreeable she is to that ...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...share.html
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#5
(08-30-2017, 09:33 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(08-30-2017, 08:45 AM). Nneilr007 Wrote: Morning all, I wonder if anyone can help me on this one...

My ex and I are separated, she now lives with her boyfriend and my two children.

We separated 5 years ago and since then I have given every day of my annual leave from work to looking after the children (in other words I haven't had a day off in 5 years without having my children).

My ex is now insisting that as of next year I MUST have my children more throughout the year and insists I will HAVE to take unpaid leave to cover any extra dates she wants!

Can someone tell me if I have to do both of these things?
1) Do I have to give up all my holiday to help her out?
2) Do I have to take unpaid leave because she wants more holiday cover?

Hopefully someone can give me some good advice.

Cheers

Contact only takes place at the time the Non Resident Parent wants it. No Court will force a Non Resident Parnet to have contact just because the other parent wants them to have it.

If you want it, you will get half the Quality Time, what is why the normal starting point is Friday till Sunday, every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays.
If you do not get 6.5 weeks a year off work, then the normal is to ask for a week at Easter and Christmas, and 2 weeks (plus another weekend) in the summer.

Your ex might be entitled to help with Childcare, in the form of Working Tax Credit, but this will depend on how many hours both her and her new partner work, as well as their combined income.

Thanks very much indeed for you response.  I only get 4 weeks holiday a year unfortunately so I'll have to try and find out from somewhere what I should consider offering her.  Last year I said I wanted one week's holiday to myself to go away with a friend and she told me this was totally unacceptable.  A few months later she went away to Dubai with her boyfriend!!!
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#6
4 weeks leave is not a lot. There will be times when you need days to do stuff where it is not practical to have the kids. Decorating the house for example.

If you could combine any weeks with bank holidays you would save the odd day to bank for yourself. If you can be flexible with your bank holidays use those to cut down on annual leave or keep the bank holidays for yourself and combine with a few days leave.

You could also do some long weekends rather than a full week when the school break is short.

If you’re happy to use 3 weeks for the kids and keep a week for yourself you can be inventive as to how and when you do it. She has no say in what days/weeks or number of days you have off and when.

Co operation with the ex would be good but where it is not possible it comes down to your availability as MarkR says.
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#7
(08-30-2017, 09:39 AM)Hazy Wrote: If she wants all that you have a case for shared residency where you do an equal amount of shared day to day care and thus can get child benefit and tax credits for one child if you have two children.

Let’s see how agreeable she is to that ...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...share.html

Hello again - thanks for the useful information.

As you seem very knowledgeable, may I ask a question about money?

Using the CSA calculater (and rounding up), I give her £300 per month (on top of her earnings, her boyfriend's earnings and tax credits & child benefits, she does pretty damn well!).

However, she is always after more money.  For clothes, shoes, school uniforms, school books and bags etc - is this something I have to pay?

Thank you
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#8
(08-30-2017, 11:48 AM)neilr007 Wrote:
(08-30-2017, 09:39 AM)Hazy Wrote: If she wants all that you have a case for shared residency where you do an equal amount of shared day to day care and thus can get child benefit and tax credits for one child if you have two children.

Let’s see how agreeable she is to that ...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/articl...share.html

Hello again - thanks for the useful information.

As you seem very knowledgeable, may I ask a question about money?

Using the CSA calculater (and rounding up), I give her £300 per month (on top of her earnings, her boyfriend's earnings and tax credits & child benefits, she does pretty damn well!).

However, she is always after more money.  For clothes, shoes, school uniforms, school books and bags etc - is this something I have to pay?

Thank you

The CMS calcuation is fully inclusive and you can not be forced to pay more, except where a Child is in Boarding School or other Private Education.

Since the Welfare Benefit Reforms, the Resident Parnet is topped up by way of Tax Credits and Housing Benefit, to have at least what the law says they need coming in, taking into account their current household.

The Child Support amount is not in any way linked to what the Resident Parnet has coming in, or what the cost of bringing up the child is.

It is your ability to pay, taking into account

a, your income

b, if you have any dependent children who you or a new partner get Child Benefit for

c, a reduction to take into account your costs of having "Staying Contact", if you exceed 52 nights a year, with futher reductions at 104, 156 and 175 nights.

You have to pay for any costs while the child is in your care, for example any food, cloths, beding. If the Child is collected from or dropped back to any paid Childcare, arranged by the Resident Parnet, then it is their bill.

The law does not stop you paying more, but it can be on your terms. For example, if the ex is providing cloths for contact, or if you have the child mid week and so they are providing uniform, then its normal to share the cost of it, as its better than you both having to buy a few sets.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#9
It is entirely up to you if you pay for extras or not. There is no compulsion.

It all depends on affordability I guess.

If you pay half and her half comes out of your maintenance you effectively pay for all of it which is why I am not keen on it but I agree that there are circumstances where it could be fair to help out a bit.

I’m more for it if there was 50/50 shared day to day care where no maintenance needs to be paid as then it is much fairer to share costs of uniforms and school trips etc.

Don’t ever give cash. Pay direct to company/store or go to shops yourself.
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