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I am completely lost.
#1
Sad 
Hi I am father of two beautiful girls (8y and 6y old).  I am not British that's why I am completely lost in my rights also I apologize for my language.
I will very appreciate any help or advice.

I will explain little bit my situation.

We are 8 year married, unformal separated and we never been in court.

We agree with my Ex to live separately nearly one year ago. For first 5 months communication was quiet good. But after 5 months when I told her I started meeting someone communication became a nightmare.

I am taking kids to my house every Monday and Wednesday from 15:00 until 21:00 plus every second weekend.

I have a question is she or court can force me to take them more than those days please?

She want me to take them plus extra day every week but I cant cope this because  I am working 50h per week. .
Also whatever I am little bit late or I need to cancel visitation with 2 days notice (maybe happend twice since I moved out) she threatens that she will go to the court and they will force me.

To be more funny few times when i took kids for weekend she went to holiday and come back after few days. Also she is nearly always late or not at home when I bring girls back.
What is the consequences of this behaviour? I have a job and I could be in trouble if this will happen often. 


Another thing is that She left me with all credits. I had credit card on my name which we was using both but. Now she said this is my problem. Also we sitll have join accout with unplaned overdraft nearly -3000 already locked and moved to collection department. I believe we  have 60 day to pay out all or account will be closed and go under recovery process. Also she dont want to even speak about this accaunt. Bank can help also. they said we both responsible and need to agree together which is impossible at the moment. Maybe someone here was in similar situation and can advise.

I will apreciate for any advices

regards
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#2
Hey

No she can't. although you didn't go to court in principle as you moved out you are the non resident parent and when you see your kids is down to your availability (as seen by the law) so she cannot force you to take them more or threaten you with court if you don't.

I guess this is all a reaction to your new girlfriend... its common but she is NOT acting to benefit your kids and the court would see this if you end up there

Ironically most men on here would love to be given more time with their kids ... but don't feel threatened by her empty threats.

As for finances - stop all joint credit cards and bank accounts immediately ... but expect more threats about court etc

You should suggest mediation to her and try to work things out... if you cannot, you can self represent in court at cost of 215GBP and nothing you have said so far will be an issue... you work hard, you take your kids slightly more than a court would expect you to (norm is every other weekend and 1-2 night in the week)
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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#3
(09-18-2017, 03:02 PM)Thank you all for reply. Wrote: I have a lots of the problems with her.
I see kids average 3.5 day per week
I pay child maintenance as I should regularly every month. Plus I look after them when she is going alone on holiday

but she become a nightmare in my life

She text me few times per day everyday.She insult me in the messages. she is requesting money nearly for every expenses for girls.
She is coming a front of my house. 
Always start fights a front of girls nearly every time when possible. She even kicked my car in kids present.

I have blocked her wherever i could. Now she started to call to my office.

I want to limit contact with her as much is possible but she always find the way.

I feel to move out to different town.

Really I am really tired of her and I cant even image what girls have to feel.
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#4
You pay maintenance and if that is the correct amount DO NOT give additional money
If your kid needs something extra i.e. a new coat... buy it... do not give money to the mother as itis going on holidays not kids ;-)

Ask her not to come to your house unless dropping the kids off
If she starts a flight or kicks the car, call the police

Ask her to call once a week, or email once a week with 'kid info' .... everything else including insults are not your problem... the phone has a hang up button for a reason... if its about the kids great, take the call ... if its to bully and abuse you... she can do it to the dialing tone

DO NOT respond to the jibes... she will want you to get angry and get a non molestation order against you ... do not fall for that trick

Set out times she can call you - every Wednesday 6-7pm for example ... outside that must be emergency
"Being a good father, for its own sake, does not require your ex to see it or agree"
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