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Restricted contact
#1
Hi all,

I will try to be brief, any help or information will be greatly appreciated.

I am having a serious issue with my sons mother, my ex.

He is 6 years old as of next week, we have been split since he was around 1 year old.
Although our relationship in that time has generally been quite strained, contact has always been regular and amicable, until 8 weeks ago.

Myself and the little man, have gone from, me picking him up from school on our contact weekends, having 2 over nights. Having extra days and weekends when worked with his mother as she may have plans etc.. splitting school holidays 50/50 and also having extended nights over during the Christmas period.

To now, having contact dictated to me by her, to 1 over night, every other weekend and that's it.

Now, legally speaking, we have no court orders in place etc.. but surely she cannot just do this?

It has all stemmed from me choosing to pay maintenance via CMS 8 weeks ago.

For years I have been paying her £200 P/M, and that's hasn't been an issue for me, I feel it is fair in comparison to what I earn.
8 weeks ago I received a message from her requesting more money, once I told her no, as I cannot afford it, I received a torrent of abuse, exclaiming I am a useless father etc...  I'm sure most of you have had the same crap spewed at you from an ex.

After receiving all this, I messaged her back, informing her, from now on I will be paying maintenance via CMS and then in future there will be no arguments regarding financial matters.
After speaking to CMS to arrange payments, they worked out my payments would be £146 P/M.
CMS then rang her, to confirm contact days etc.. and once she found out how much she will be receiving on a monthly basis, she lied to CMS and told them that I see him for 1 over night every other weekend and that is it, no more no less.
They then calculated my payments to be £184 P/M.

So, in essence, she is withholding contact for financial reasons.

How will that stand her up in court?

My son and I have a fantastic relationship, we're very close and already these restrictions she has dictated have began to upset him on a number of occasions.
This situation has also led to his mother speaking to him about the financial situation. He turned around to me a few weeks ago and said, " Why have you been stealing money from mummy?" and " Mummy said, when you stop being naughty, we can more sleeps, but I told her you're not naughty Dad".
To me, this is now parental alienation too. It is very frustrating and I almost feel powerless to even rectify this situation, it feels as though she is holding all the cards.

I have applied to mediation, and at the moment of writing this, I have attended my appointment, now waiting out for his mother to attend her session, then we can progress forward.
Regardless mediation, I want a contact order, legally binding, so she cannot dictate and interfere with myself and his relationship again.

Any ideas of how to move forward, prepare for court or general advice would be fantastic!

Thanks for taking time to read my dramas!

Richard.
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#2
Absolute nothing you can do my friend im
In the same boat , its my boys birthday next friday an im not allowed to see him the csa seem to think i never seen him when the payments was arranged but soon as
Payments was
Arranged the contact stopped - for her financial gain also
- it will be in ur favpur if she doesnt show up to mediation then your mediator will be able too sign off a court order which will speed things up but its takes ages and like yourself i am
Powerless till i hear back feom
The courts - will never forgive her for tarnishimg my relationship with my son just out of spite
Reply
#3
(10-17-2017, 07:53 PM)Scott101 Wrote: Absolute nothing you can do my friend im
In the same boat , its my boys birthday next friday an im not allowed to see him the csa seem to think i never seen him when the payments was arranged but soon as
Payments was
Arranged the contact stopped - for her financial gain also
- it will be in ur favpur if she doesnt show up to mediation then your mediator will be able too sign off a court order which will speed things up but its takes ages and  like yourself i am
Powerless till i hear back feom
The courts - will never forgive her for tarnishimg my relationship with my son just out of spite
It's a crap situation, and unfortunately the ex partners seem to have us by the family jewels!
I am hoping that she drags her feet regarding mediation, the I can get the MIAM form quicker and progress this to court.

Hope you get your situation resolved bud, ultimately this is completely unfair on the little ones involved, they are the ones suffering more when used as a pawn like this.

Richard.
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