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Better not to know but...
#1
Hi there

I wondered if anyone had any similar experience and any advice?

I'm divorcing and going through the family court to see my daughter, it all seems to be moving in the right direction now which is great.

In the court forms it asks if the parents are in a new relationship, me and my ex both ticked no however I recently saw her with her 1st husband who has seemingly reappeared, now it doesn't bother me that she is moving on, however she has been adamant in trying to alienate me from my daughter and despite the courts findings that her concerns are unfounded is still pushing for there to be no contact whatsoever.

What concerns me is that she will try and raise our daughter to believe that her new partner is her father and not me.

do I have a right to know if she is in a new relationship? or is it best to not worry about it and cross that bridge when I come to it?
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#2
I cant remember it actually asking me in any of the forms if I was in a new relationship or not.

I had a piece put into our agreement that meant that we both have to wait six months before introducing to any prospective partners, and we both retain the right to do background checks on the person for safety of our child.

I would personally love my ex to move on, the energy she expends on hating me could be put to better use.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#3
(10-31-2017, 10:48 AM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: I cant remember it actually asking me in any of the forms if I was in a new relationship or not.

I had a piece put into our agreement that meant that we both have to wait six months before introducing to any prospective partners, and we both retain the right to do background checks on the person for safety of our child.

I would personally love my ex to move on, the energy she expends on hating me could be put to better use.

I know what you mean... all of the hassle of just getting fortnightly access at a contact centre could have been avoided if she had just agreed to exactly that at the beginning.

Its a stressful hassle but at the same time all the stuff shes doing is like watching a kamikaze pilot relentlessly ploughing through the decks of the aircraft carrier that launched it
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#4
All you have to remember is that you are doing all this for your child, the truth will out - my ex was only offering Contact Center with me as well - but I stuck to my guns and we came to some compromise where I do have the time outside it with her.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#5
I cannot see how you would have any rights as to knowing her relationship status unless it affects the child's upbringing, but even then it is hard to prove. My son was having a bad time with his step father, so much so, that he moved out to live with his grandmother for a year. When i inquired, i was told he did not like being disciplined by ex wife's new husband and was being rebellious. According to my son the stepfather was being confrontational and verbally abusive. i mentioned it to the CSA and asked if they could make inquiries. Now i am sure it is not their remit, but surely as they claim to represent the child's interest i would have thought it would have been looked into by somebody. In the end he came to live with me for 3 years. I repeatedly asked for questions to be asked, no interest whatsoever from CSA. I could not approach the ex as it was a 'walking on eggshells' stage of getting access.
I would forget what she does and concentrate on strengthening the bond between your daughter and yourself. Never say anything derogatory about her mother, I did that once, never again. I was a complete jerk for doing that.
Women spend their lives looking for the perfect guy and when they find him they spend the rest of their lives trying to change him!!
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