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Was wondering if anyone has had any experience doing this course for separated parental information? Have been advised by the contact center to do it (free of charge).
I was told its not a lecture on how to look after your children but more how to deal with communication between parents and questions from children about their parents being separated etc.
Are these programs looked well upon by judges or CAFCASS at all? Or just a waste of time?
Cheers
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(10-31-2017, 04:14 PM)kettleman Wrote: Was wondering if anyone has had any experience doing this course for separated parental information? Have been advised by the contact center to do it (free of charge).
I was told its not a lecture on how to look after your children but more how to deal with communication between parents and questions from children about their parents being separated etc.
Are these programs looked well upon by judges or CAFCASS at all? Or just a waste of time?
Cheers
In Milton Keynes in 2015, anyone making an application to Court regarding Family Matters, was Ordered to attend one, unless there was Domestic Violence.
All the course done for me, what highlighted what my ex was doing wrong.
In my case it was in a Hotel Conferance Room, and a few of us took the the bar after it!!!!!!
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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I went on one and it was in a location I used to work in - a good few of us shared war stories and some of it was worse than my experience which stunned me
I have tried to implement some of it but it's difficult when it is one sided
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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After looking through the hand book it looks like the whole course is a load of BS.
I'm already in court proceedings because she has spitefully stopped access to my child for no valid reason, (this was even put in the CAFCASS report!) so I think im passed most of what this course will advise upon already.
my solicitor said it'll come as a brownie point in the long run so I've applied for it anyways, I can't see any negatives from doing it!
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I got sent on one (as did my ex) by the court after CAFCASS recommended it. The courts like it because they want both parents to make an effort in the interests of their child, as they know that for a court decision to work it ultimately needs the parents to go along with it. Most of what you get to hear is largely common sense. As the courses are identical wherever you have them, you know what your ex has heard as well and you can always quote or discuss the advice with them if they’ll listen.
As others have said, the difficulty is that it relies on both parents being reasonable and putting the needs of the children first, and if your ex isn’t like this then the course isn’t going to make much difference. Still, it can be a useful reminder on how things can be, and you get the moral support from hearing from other people in similar situations to your own. The fact that some of them had far worse experiences than mine made me grateful for what I have got.
The most useful tip I got, and that I put into practice straight away, was a very small one – one of the facilitators suggested reducing the stress that comes with contact with your ex by changing your ex’s contact details on your phone from that of their real name to “*Name of your child*’s mother”. Now when I receive texts or (occasionally) get a call, seeing my daughter’s name there reminds me who I should be thinking about, and I don’t feel the same sense of dread or rising anger that I used to get.
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i have been on one of these.
cafcass recommended it when they done their safeguarding letter as part of my enforcement application.
The judge didnt mention it at hearing but i asked him if we could go on it, because i wanted to rule it out as an excuse for cafcass to defend the ex with next time things went wrong.
4 hours, mainly trying to get you to view the separation side of things through a childs perspective. usual rubbish..be civil, be amicable, be reasonable, dont let kids hear or see or feel the animosity.
you watch a video with different scenarios, that are supposed to represent common scenarios you may face as seperated parents light birthdays and you give feedback on rights and wrongs in the video, what they could have done better to improve the situation etc. Its all common sense but they dont realise that it portrays things in an ideal world and the reality is far from that.
when i was asked for feedback at the end i made a point to the lady running it that strangely the video and course does not cover the scenario and fact that the resident parent which is usually the mother uses the kids as weapons to get at the non resident parent. and the usual story is to deny contact or be awkward as possible. There was not one point in the video or the 4 hour course that portrayed a clear message that kids should not be used as weapons to spite the other parent.
Its something that needs to be done as part of the process , jump through the hoops, tick the boxes and hopefully the end result is contact at home with your child.
All these people working in social services, cafcass, courts, solicitors etc etc need to be kept in jobs, so this is one way of doing it at the expense of the tax payer and the misery of the fathers who are denied contact.
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I have mine tomorrow, directions hearing on Friday timed quite well. Ex hasn't even booked onto it. It has now been ordered but when it was suggested to her before the order she said she "wasnt ready".
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If she doesn't do the course then CAFCASS will update the court with her failure to attend
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.