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her affair has floored me....
Thanks pete....I'll try.
Just caught up with this Scott. Understand. Been there. Sometimes the hardest thing is still being in the same house and it's a relief when you're not any more. I wouldn't move out though. It will be easier to keep contact with your kids if you stay in the house with them and can agree 50/50 shared care and get it in a consent order. It will be hard if she doesn't want to move out. The worst thing is your imagination sometimes. Are you getting any counselling? Relate can be quite good when you've just found out about an affair. You can go on your own. And you could then think about asking her to go with you. The talk may be easier with someone else there.

What confuses me is - if things have been bad for over a year, it sounds as if it wasn't just a one night thing. So why did she stay and carry on with both? Counselling may help get to the bottom of this. But it can be intolerable and I would seriously suggest moving into another bedroom (if you haven't already) or the trauma can be worse the more you are in familiar habits.

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